My husband and I have only been married a year and a half. He is contantly wanting to visit his family that live 5 hours away. I understand like a couple times a year but he wants to go almost every month. It's really starting to drive me nuts. Plus all his old buddies live in the same town so it seems we are spending more time with them than his family. I dont ask to see my family as much. We only went once in the past year and a half to visit my family. He says it's cause my family lives 8 hours away. When I complain about us visiting his family so much, he says that I'm trying to keep him away from them. Which is so not true. I'm just used to having my time and not having to visit so much. I feel like we are newly married and we need our time. Him wanting to go so often makes me feel like he's not ready to be married because he has to go see mommy and daddy and his friends all the time. He's already asked me to move up there. There is no way I want to now. I'm so irritated.
2006-12-27 02:04:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The more you resist him going to see his family the more he will want to. It doesnt seem like he is ready to give up his "single" life because if he spends more time with his buddies then he's using seeing his family as an excuse. Why dont you say "sure we can go see your family but not your buddies this time". Also, If they live 5 hours and your family lives 8 hours then there is not too much of a difference, tell him to compromise, lets go see my family this time and your family next time. Good luck with this one because it sounds like he wants the best of both worlds.
2006-12-27 02:14:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your hubby is just feeling the "homesick blues". He is close too his family and friends and I can understand that. I moved away from my friends and family when I got married, moved too Indiana from Tennessee and in the first year of marriage we went too TN quiet often!! My husband never complained but I know that he probably had some strong feelings about this. BUT..now..we only go a couple times a year, and that is fine with me. As I made new friends here things changed for me and I didn't feel so homesick anymore. I love my husband very much but that still didn't make me feel any less homesick, so don't give up on your marriage, and don't get so angry at your husband, I think that in time, your husband will take less trips too see his family & friends. And if you are so tired of these trips, let him go alone.He will, no doubt, not have as good a time knowing the woman he loves is not with him. Don't be angry with him, It will not solve anything.
2006-12-27 03:20:05 · answer #2 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unfortunately when you marry a man you also marry his family. But then again who cares!? If I were you, next time he mentions that he wants go visit his family, just don't go. If you don't want to go why should you. Tell him you love his family but you've made other plans (even if you haven't). Then when he leaves, go out and have a good time with your girlfriend. Who knows maybe his little "family" trips could mean girls night out for you. Last but not least, do not fight. Get the upper hand by just not showing you care. Trust me it works.
2006-12-27 02:14:49 · answer #3 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refuse to move there or you will never see him! Even if your family is 8 hours away...it's only 3 hours more than his and you have a right to see them too! I agree with you...he's NOT ready to be married. Postpone having children until this one decides to "grow up"
2006-12-27 02:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he wants to go visit his family, tell him while he is visiting his family, you will visit yours, and do it. 8 hours or 5 hours is not much different.
2006-12-27 02:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by J89434 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has a really good relationship with his family and he is close to his friends....you didn't know this before you were married? Well...maybe if you lived closer it wouldn't be such a thing for him.....maybe he feels cut off from them and therefore needs to go every month....also, I don't think that is really overdoing it....why don't you want to see your family more? Try to reach a compromise if it really bothers you but whining and nagging him aren't going to get you far...good luck
2006-12-27 02:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you move there his family and friends will be up your a$$e$ constantly.You will also be farther away from YOUR family.You are newly married, you do need time alone.Maybe he should go by himself, especially if he ends up with his friends. You married him, not them. Have you tried talking to him about this?
2006-12-27 02:10:41 · answer #7 · answered by MeRmAiD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he needs to curb the visits or he will be going by himself and he can explain to them why you are not along . Put your foot down you are sick of it too much driving and his family is making you nuts. he is married to you not his family he needs to make up his mind who he wants to truly be with ,enough is enough. plain and simple .good luck and god bless .
2006-12-27 02:11:55 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋