please help... ( i am realy depresed )?

Question

hi. i am ramin and i have 18 years old. i had a girlfriend and we had a very close friendship and we loved each other very much, we wanted marry! but a month ago she left me with no reason. i have figured out that her last bf is back and she has left me just for him. i am realy depresed and i cant handle this situation. i can not come over this condition that she has left me in this easy way. in the past she was always tellig me that, i love you, i can not live with out you, you are my dreams man and, ...... . by now she is in my mind all the time, i remember times that i had with her all the days. i can not have usual day life anymore. i can not stop thinking about her. this situation is destroying me. please help, what should i do? please help...

Answer 1

You need to get out and interact with other people. I hate to tell you but this girl is a LIAR and not worth your pain or hardship. It is very disappointing to find that someone who told you intimate things (I love you, I cannot live without you....etc) was not telling the truth. Not only do you have to deal with the pain of losing someone you care about, you now have to deal with someone who didn't tell you the truth---you feel hurt AND betrayed. No wonder you are feeling depressed. But, the good news is you can make yourself feel better. You need to start doing some things, have contact with other humans, and get out of the house! I know it is hard, but MAKE yourself do it....take small steps, go to the mall today for one hour and sit and 'people watch.' Buy yourself something small that makes you smile, take a friend's dog for a walk...have some kind of contact with other living things. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but these feelings shall pass and there is a kind, loving person out there waiting to meet you.

Answer 2

Oh Ramin, I totally understand. So many of us have gone through the same situation. When I was in my early thirties with two children, my husband told me that he wanted to leave and that he had never really loved me. He had a girlfriend.

I thought my life was over. I got out and started dating, and socializing even though I didn't really feel like it. I found out that I could make new friends and that other people had gone through the same thing too. This plus my reliance on God gave me confidence.

I finally met my present husband, five months later, who adores me. I will say that it took years to get over the rejection (not him) . My ex husband, his wife, my husband, and I are somewhat friends now. We see each other at family functions which is for the sake of our children.

I can truthfully tell you that I am in love with my husband and can't really see what I saw in the ex in the first place.

So, stay busy. Time will take care of everything. Eventually you will see that she is not the person that you thought she was and that you are too valuable to waste your time thinking about her.

You are a valuable man because you have the ability to really love someone. This kind of person is highly in demand. Although, you are very young, in time, the right someone will come along and you will be respected and loved back.

Answer 3

Accept the fact that she must have been on the rebound when she met you. She may have said that she loved you but what she really meant was she had transferred her love of her former bf to you. When the former bf came back into her life, you no longer mattered to her.

I say this, not to be mean, but for you to have insight into what she might have been thinking. Be glad this happened before you married her.

Now, you will need to finish your grieving. There are many ways to do this. The method I recommend it talking with your friends and family. This support is necessary to help you out of your depression. When you are feeling a little better about yourself, then start going out and mixing with others. It may take you awhile to get completely over your current emotional crisis, but have faith in yourself. You will make some woman a great husband, you just have to find the right woman. The one you had, wasn't the right one for you.

Answer 4

Nothing you can do to ease your pain. Only time will do. For the mean time, understand and know that what you feel is normal and a lot of people(myself) went through and pass through. Then do not change your life in dramatic way and wait for the Storm to pass. I been there....30 years ago.
Have you know boys who cheat girls to get them to bed then leave them after, you are not this type .. right? well some girls do that too in different way, they can't make their mind and love one and keep one of two as a spare. I hope next girl friend will be your type.

Answer 5

Dude, there is no doubt that this is one of the most heart wrenching things a man or woman can go through. Keep reminding yourself though that it is something most of us have experienced. I'm in my forties and I can still well remember the experience of heartbreak. Most of us have been there and most of us have gotten through it.

You will probably want to lay around at home, keep to yourself, replay it all in your head and just wallow in it. Do that for about three days and then it's time to start healing. After a few days you have got to start intentionally foccussing on life. It'll be hard at first. It has to be done though. You will have to get back out into the stream of life. You'll see that everything has not come to a screeching halt. Life is still out there for you.

Here comes the hard reality of life dude. You cannot life your life for someone else. You must not make someone else responsible for your happiness. You have got to make yourself strong again, learn to live your own life (not dependant on another), and to be happy with your life. In doing that you will get past this and you will find someone else in time. Hard to do but trust me, you can do it. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I am a person that doesn't know you at all, but I really feel sorry for your hurt feelings. It is okay to be sad about the loss of somebody that you love, and it is normal. Pain isn't fun. But there is something about pain that you should know about....it dosen't stay around forever.
What makes pain go away is to busy at something eles-do you like going to the movies? Just taking a walk helps a lot. being with friends.
You are not alone in this world, just reach out like you did on the internet...you trusted other people with your deepest feelings-that says to me that you are a great guy!

Answer 7

I agree with Naomi....you need to go to church...do some praying. Ask the Lord to help you get over her.Maybe there is a very good reason you two are not supposed to be together...even though it is painful right now, it may turn out wonderful in the end. I know that it doesn't help the pain right now or answer any of the probing questions, but God can bring something better intot your life if you trust Him

Answer 8

she just threw you away for some one else. she did not love you as you loved her and she does not deserve your love. you can do so much better than that!!!! stop focusing on the good times and know that there are so many others out there that will love you and treat you with respect-which she did not. the sooner you just let it go the sooner you will find some one that deserves to have you. keep your chin up-after all- she is the looser in the end.

Answer 9

y do u think u have to still think abt her??leave her nd nd forget her puhleeeeeeeez she ditched u..how can u even waste one drop of a tear who is not faithfullll to u....get a break get her out of ua mind as soon as possible coz shez juz not worth it..go nd love nd pass ua time on a gal who loves u who cherishes u but not atleast on a gal who doesnt love u at all..u`l get better off gals atleast faithful loyal nd loving nd not to forget truthfull which is vry important..

if u still think tht u cant forget her then go nd plead her nd tell her tht u can be her servant all ua life but dont leave u...

i just cant digest the fact tht how u guys can accept any gal or cry for anyone whos just not worth..not faithfulll atleast

think abt it

Answer 10

i am sorry to hear about such a soul destroying experience; i dont think there is anything that anyone can tell you that would make you feel better; you need to confide in someone,and bring closure to your grief

one thing to remember: better her doing it now than after you got married or started a family.... she wasn't your soul mate, only very close to being it... keep searching, the right one will come.