why do men who are in unhappy marriages say they want to be with you and are leaving their marriages but never do?and why am i so stupid i believe him?
2006-12-27 01:39:24 · 32 answers · asked by daisy25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry this is happening to you. Get out before you get hurt even more. I am a wife and if I found out my husband had cheated, I would out of curosity I'd come and see what you looked like. But I'm not like all wives, others would be out for more than a look!
2006-12-27 01:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by Celeste P 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He likes to be with you because you're providing what's missing in his life, and you're looking for someone like him. To leave his wife means giving up his life as he knows it; money, home, kids, everything. Most of the people answering this have no idea what it's like to be in a bad marriage. Believe it or not, many of them are a horrible, lonely existence mainly because the wife has abandoned her husband. Society still will hold him accountable, and he will pay through the nose. It's all about the price for his own happiness, and it's like jumping into the deep end of the pool and not knowing how to swim. You believe him because in the back of your mind you hope one day he will choose you over her. Some of these other answers are very interesting, especially the ones on the moral "high ground". All I can say about those is they've obviously never been there. He may never leave his wife for you. Then again she might find out, or some other event will precipitate a change. Only you can decide if you're willing to wait, if he's worth it or not.
2006-12-27 02:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are desperate and will take anyone who shows an interest in you. Dont be desparate and teasing and least of all get involved with married men. Ask them out right if they are married before you get involved and ife they say no, find out first. Be as cunning as a fox. If they are run for your life. Pick someone your own age too.
Its possible that you had a bad father abuse scenario in your life and thus seek a father figure. You need guidance. I suggest you go tyo therapy and get healed of all your woundws first and then start seeking a man. Read books on men marriage and divorce. WIld at Heart by John Eld\redge is excellent. it explains where men come from and what makes them tick! I suggest that book for men especially to read. Its brilliant and you men ouit there seeking other women besides your wife, think again - all you are doing is causing everyone including the lovers pain. You guys get help! You need it
2006-12-27 01:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would you believe anything a married man who is sleeping with some one other than his wife says? I doubt that he goes home and says "yes honey, I am having an affair..."so why would he tell you the truth? Also, and I don't mean this to be hurtful, but why would he trust you and tell you the truth? Why would he want to give his life and all his honesty and trust to some one who would knowingly sleep with another woman's husband? Even if you think you really love this guy, you are stooping way too low honey. You can do much better for yourself...find someone trustworthy who isn't a cheater and a liar and won't eventually cheat on you in the future....
2006-12-27 02:08:24 · answer #4 · answered by I'minlovewiththeboy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are probably uncertain about what to do. Usually, I think, they were in love at one point and keep hoping things will change in their marriage and they'll be happy again. Also, they are just like all human beings. They have feelings, sentiments and sensitivites. It's always rough to leave a marriage, even a bad one, but it is often for the best. You probably want to believe him for the same reason that he wants to believe his marriage might improve. You love him. No matter what he says, and even if he does love you, once upon a time and possibly still, he loved or loves his wife too.
2006-12-27 01:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by faithloveseternally 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are probably unhappy but want to stay and make their wife's life a living hell. They want to keep deceiving her and you. He doesn't care like he says at all. You are probably waiting and thinking of what it would be like if you were with him, but it will never happen. He will continue to do it because he is too insecure with himself to be faithful to anyone. Then when it all comes out, he will not be there to help you through the words from others and may even stop all communication with you altogether. He won't be there to take up for you. You will be forgotten by him while he tries to be perfect for his wife again. Then you will learn from this and will wish a better life for the wife and despise any married man who hits on you.
2006-12-27 01:47:52 · answer #6 · answered by Green Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many you feel truthfully believed that he would since he seemed to be so unhappy at home. But think of it this way, if he isn't man enough to at least try to work on something that he made a life long committment to, why should you believe that he is man enough to truly commit to you? Sometimes, a little common sense goes along way. Besides, there ARE single men out there who don't carry so much baggage. My advice, look elsewhere for love.
2006-12-27 01:43:30 · answer #7 · answered by Dazed and Confused?? 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because they know we'll believe them and they'll get what they want with no strings attached-they get their wife at home and their girl on the side. Don't call yourself stupid, lots of intelligent women fall for this crap all the time. Just stay away from married men-even if they did leave their wife, they are still cheaters and always will be!
2006-12-27 01:42:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
because u are picking men who belong to another, u are putting faith in a situation that is based on dishonesty, and deceit, as if he finds fault with her, would it be any different with you. he has to tell u he is so dissatisfied to get u to accept him. when u build a relationship on the suffering of another it can never work out for u. why leave the marriage if they can have their cake and eat it to. but know that what u do to others always comes back to hurt u later on, to be fair u need to end it with Mr. married man and find someone who doesn't belong to someone else. he will treat u just like he does his wife if he does happen to leave her for u, and u will not get the happiness u want from him. he is a cheater, he can cheat on u the same as he cheats on her.
2006-12-27 02:12:31 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They never leave because of guilt. Plus, why leave when he is getting all he wants: the stability of a marriage, plus a fling that fulfills the needs his wife doesn't meet? Ever heard the saying "you can't have your cake and eat it, too"? These men think this doesn't apply to them. Honey, don't let yourself be used like this. Anyone and everyone is better than that.
2006-12-27 01:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your not stupid- you just fall into a trap that they set up. Don't ever trust a man to leave his marriage until the papers are signed and sealed. the problem is he still has emotional connections to his (ex)wife and children. Always date single men, it will save you a lot of heart ache. (if you have a question about their marriage status- google them or hire an investigater. better safe than having your heart broken again. good luck
2006-12-27 01:44:09 · answer #11 · answered by akc6763 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋