For very small things my wife starts yelling and for very small reason she become very happy..Please suggest?

Question

My wife is short tempered, for very small things she start yelling, she also has very fast body rythem. For very small reason, she becomes very happy.She also feels breathless some time, I asked her mutiple times to slow the rythem, or don't get panic for small things. when she is in good mood, then you can feel free to talk to her, but when she is having some bad mood, then she is really irritating, keep on pin pointing for very samll things, and if i say some thing, it can be turned in to a big fight.I need to be driven,as per her mood, sometimes its OK, but it happen to many times, and i feel bad about that, can't say any thing to my wife, as i know this can be turning in to major fight, and i don't want to fight in front of my kid.I also communicated the same to her so many times, but i think its her nature. what to do in this case, it is really not tollerable, because it is repetaed with my other family members, which is destrying my relations

Answer 1

Women and their hormones. Can make them manic depressive = going to extremes emotionally and physically. Stay brave, patient and try not to take these mood-action swings personally. She is out of balance and probably rationalizing her behavior to herself and you. Confronting her probably just escalates the situation. A good gynecologist is what she needs to start 'recovery' to balance herself. Remain loving and wait for the depressive /calmer side to emerge and then with extreme gentleness express your view of her behavior. If she becomes defensive remain calm and reattempt a calm exchange. Would also talk with her friends/female relatives expressing your concern for her - hopefully you will garner some sympathetic help mates. Hang in there.

Answer 2

I going Thur the same thing, even tho, my wife may have different issues, than yours the pattern is the same.

Here are a few thing you can look at.

ADHD
Conflict Seeking Behavior: one way to get stimulation is by subconsciously provoking arguments. "If I say black, she says white.

hormones, If a women body is out of sync, they can have mood swings. that looks can kill.
just like when we get irritated from the common cold.

Bipolar Mania, Highs and lows, extremely happy,than sad

Kids add stress, i don't think i need to say anything on this subject

medication, you need to see if she is taking anything.

another thing is she a women and your a man.

Men want to fix things, another words "don't tell me about the labor pains just show the baby" we don't want to relive the problem over and over again, just to get to the solution.

women want to express how they feel, this is ok , but they want to make sure the whole world knows about it,

They call this communication, men call it dumping.

Right now you feel like a line blocker running up the Field , trying to stop any little problem, only to find your getting chew a new one back in the huddle. and your patience is running thin.

by now you probably have let this problem go to long, to where it becoming habitual.

start with address you concern only when she is happy. and never and i mean never start with "you make me feel" ect ect

always use "I" Example honey what can i do to make you happy i feel that i always make you mad at me.

do this several times one time wont work, untill she starts to open up, because right now everbody else is the problem.

when all else fail then you need to take control, and put your foot down. because verbal abuse is still abuse .


good luck to ya

aint love grand

Answer 3

There are too many details left out but I would have her to first see her gynocologist. if your child is small i.e. a baby, she may be going through postpartum depression or she may have PMS which can get worse after children and before menopause.
Many times PMS is wrongly diagnosed as bi polar or manic depression. The Gyn. can check her for for other causes as well, such as vitamin deficiencies. B12 deficiency can cause lots of problems. The Gyn will advise her to another doctor if she can not find anything wrong.
I would not suggest going straight to a Pyschiatrist or therapist until she has a thorough examination by this gyn.

Answer 4

This is abusive behavior. She is not taking you or anyone else into consideration when she "blasts off" especially your child. I suggest if you cannot talk to her without a fight that you write her a note that she will find while you are gone from the home. Tell her the two of you need help and if she will not go get the help with you, she will be losing her family. You can take your child for a long visit to a relative's home and let her sit for a while thinking about her behavior. It is your responsibility AS A PARENT to remove your child from an abusive situation. People do not have to be physically violent to be considered abusive. Right now you are training your child how to be just like her, by allowing your child to witness her behavior. I suggest you and the child get out of there and if you want to work something out with your wife, do it from out of the home---for the safety of your child and yourself.

Answer 5

Sounds like she's intentionally trying to push you away. My brother does this when he is done with his relationships. He, also, has a two year old and when he was ready to get out of the relationship with his ex, he started fights contstantly and finally got her to kick him out. He didn't want to look like the bad guy in front of his kid, so he waited until she said she was done with his bs and kicked him out. He was also cheating on her, so I think that made him feel a little less guilty when she finally had enough of the screaming and fighting. I say get out now and enjoy the rest of your life because your efforts have failed if you have tried for 11 years to make her a happy person. I understand the love for a child, but how can you be the parent and role model for a child when you are having to try and keep yourself together for someone who obviously has issues that need to be seen by a licensed psychiatrist.

Answer 6

This sounds like bi polar to me...I suggest taking her to a doctor fast, seeing as you have a child. Also , it may be stress, or maybe bad PMS? But bi polar seems most logical, so see a doctor.

Answer 7

Something is troubling her. She needs to see a psychiatrist to diagnose what makes her boil up for the smallest reason. She obviously doesn't want to discuss it with you and it will only lead to more bickerings.

Hope things will be better for you.

Answer 8

Sounds like me BEFORE medication.... I have Bi-polar disorder..... it is manageable. Tell her you love her, take her to the doctor and talk to him together. Good Luck!!

Answer 9

You may need to take youe wife to the doctor and get a professional opinion--she may be bi-polar and need medication to help her.

Answer 10

If you don't have kids, Divorce her and stay away from women like her in the future. If you have kids, well you are stuck and your kids will have a mean Mother for a mother.