I know my mom is open to this to help us out but we are having serious financial difficulties and really would like to save money for the future. My husband's ex is now threatening for more child support which means more lawyers bills even though we have an $8k bill now from fighting for his daughter last year. I am a full time student who student teaches full time. We have debt from our wedding this year b/c his parents bailed on our wedding and left us with the leftovers (long story). We've tried to cut back on things, but everytime we do that, something else comes up (like the child support) and it seems we are getting no where right now. Would you move back in with your parents as a married couple? My husband kind of likes the idea for savings purposes - of course our apprehension comes from lack of privacy etc...
2006-12-27 01:08:49 · 16 answers · asked by actresscye 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Explanation: Know that we take full responsibility for our bills. But know that the ex is asking for more child support because she is angry at him and we are not that concerned actually with her asking for more, it is the lawyers bill that will be added to to deal with it. He already pays $1500/mos for his 4 year old child. The ex lives at home with her parents and his daughter stays with his mom 30 hours a week. Plus he spends $300/mos to have her every month - so yes - it is going to be a huge burden because the courts don't care and if you read about it, you will see many men have been cheated and hurt by the courts in these situations.
The wedding bill - We paid the full bill. But when someone promises a certain amount of money and helps you book those vendors well in advance because they want their son to have a beautiful wedding but then hatred develops (for a variety of reasons - read some of my old old posts) and then you back out 1 month before the wedding - it becomes
2006-12-27 01:26:44 · update #1
an issue.
Sorry I sound immature, but my husband and I are working very hard to try to keep a lot of this together and I think we are mature to finally let go of egos and suck it up and say we are prepared to possibly go back to my parents' home as hard as my relationship has been with my mother.
2006-12-27 01:27:51 · update #2
In your situation, yes, I would move in temporarily until we can get control over our finances. It's great to have parents willing to do this...mine would still make me pay rent
2006-12-27 01:12:38 · answer #1 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Child support can ONLY be raised (or lowered) by the court. His ex can spout off as much as she wants to, but unless there's been a significant increase in HIS, (not yours) wages, there's nothing she can do about it. In fact, if he appealed to the Friend of the Court, he could probably get it reduced, at least during this time of financial hardship.
Any credit cards? If so, cut them up NOW. You'll never get ahead paying the rediculous intrest rates. Get youselves a debit card. It can be used like a credit card (so long as you have the money in the bank) with absolutely no charges or interest!
But moving in with the parents...Be careful. Its a two edged sword, and more than one marriage has been ruined by the parents.
2006-12-27 01:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that moving in with your parents would be a mistake.It will put more stress on an allready stressful situtation. Move too a cheaper place if you can, cut out all unnessary things in your life and start saving that way. Even a very small amout each month will add up. I would seriously NOT move into your parents house. I loved my mom and dad and we had a great relationship BUT there is no way I would have moved in with them with my husband. Two families living in the same house is just a desaster waiting too happen!!
2006-12-27 02:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you two really got off to a rocky start, huh? Sounds like the two of you keep biting off more than you can chew. Why would his parents be responsible for wedding bill? Why are you fighting to reduce CS? Do you not understand that you will pay more for attorney fees than she will get in CS increase? I am not trying to be arrogant to your plight but I don't understand where you are trying to take any responsibility for your financial situation. Could you re-post your question and explain these things?
2006-12-27 01:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is always a down fall to things ;like that maybe you can save but what about being responsible and starting your own life i understand about financial problems i have my own but i keep struggling and my husband too we both work but mortgage, kids insurance cars food light gas heat phone is alot but as a couple we trying to deal with it i cant relate with the child support issue because i dont have that problem but for what i understand lawyer fees are very expensive, well maybe for now moving with the in laws is not bad just be sure that you 2 have a gold and how long you giving yourselves to move out there house is all commitment wish you the best****
2006-12-27 01:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that and no matter what your parents will always treat you like a child and since you seem to be close with your mom (because she is willing to help) I say DEFINITELY NO unless you want to be mad at your mom all the time
Have you thought about renting a house with roommates maybe other couples in the same situation. Good Luck
2006-12-27 01:15:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds tough. If your mom is OK with that, and if there is a spare room, and if she likes your guy - the move in, don't strain yourself with financial matters. It's better to live with mom rather than on the street. But whenever there is a chance - move out. Lack of privacy will be a challenge, but your mom should be sensitive and she should be able to understand - she's a mom. Again, it won't be forever, and you will test your relationship, as well as you will let your mom do something for you.
2006-12-27 01:12:47 · answer #7 · answered by S from Dublin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it could be helpful to save money, but I don't suggest it. You would have to set great guidelines and thats hard to do to your parents who have lived there and pay for the home. It is very hard on relationships, it doesn't just take away your privacy, but also your independence. You have to work around other people and adjust. Unless he is making more money, going for more child support is dumb on her part and she can only do it so often.
2006-12-27 01:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by dana j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Privacy is the least of your problems, you sound so inmature, saying that. The first thing you have to think about is in your Mom, if she agrees, you have to be very respectful with her and her home, she is the owner remember that all the time, be helpful, help with the house work, be nice with your mother, and second save money to be independent again, and please your husband has to deal with the kds and ex problemembs he has to stabish paremeters for support, making clear his bas economic situation. Be serious about that, temporarly is good for you to live with your mother, but she does not have to pay for your husband mistakes ok act with justice with her, she is very nice and good person
2006-12-27 01:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by pelancha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't. If it was that bad I would get a part-time job, or I would ask him to get a second job. People do move in with their inlaws/parents while married but I don't think it's a good idea. I think a lot of married couples in your situation would like to just up and move back with their inlaws/parents to save but that's not always feasible.
2006-12-27 01:17:28 · answer #10 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋