I am so hesitant and I need your opinions. Tell me what you think and what I should improve.
(suposed to be a satire.)
__________________________________________Late on a balmy summer's evening, a few hours before the events that led to the total eradication of man kind began, I arrived at the city of Lundda. Word has it that this was the greatest city in the world.
That night I was quite happy with the way everything went. The city wasn't as costly as I had expected and I managed to taste some of its legendary joys. That included feverish sex with one of those famous Lunddan prostitutes and getting drunk on the finest spirits I'd ever tasted. I went to bed utterly satisfied with the way things were going. As I laid my head on the pillow I revised my plans for the next day. I would wake up early, have a quick breakfast, pay the innkeeper, then go searching for the city's best breeder from whom I would buy a couple of blue hairy beasts, healthy male and female capable of mating---
2006-12-27 01:07:09 · 3 answers · asked by lagondapaolini 1 in Games & Recreation ➔ Other - Games & Recreation
. Then I would make the trip back to the southern port of Buckelham and wait there for the first ship heading for my home country. I expected that if all went well, I would be home before the month ends. I closed my eyes and went to sleep with a smile on my face.
Yet during the two seconds that passed between the moment I opened my eyes on the next morning and the moment a wet handkerchief descended upon my face, gently sending me back to sleep, I managed to develop an eerie feeling that things were not really going to proceed as planed.
It never crossed my mind though that I was already entangled in the proceedings of the disaster which caused the end of history civilization . . . again.
Few hours later, I woke up suddenly as a result of being in the path of the rushing contents of the coldest bucket of cold water I ever had my face splashed with. I was totally clueless as to what was happening to me.
2006-12-27 01:07:47 · update #1
I like it! :) But may be you can make it a bit more sophisticated?..
2006-12-27 01:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by S from Dublin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it, but this part "a few hours before the events that led to the total eradication of man kind began" sounds a little bit awkward. I think it's the began at the end. Overall though I think it's pretty good.
2006-12-29 12:21:31 · answer #2 · answered by demolitionlover13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have quite an imagination. Go for it.
2006-12-27 01:10:17 · answer #3 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋