I've dated this guy for 2 years. He is extremely sweet and a great guy. Now we are engaged and we have lived together for a year. Now that I have spent so much time with him I am realizing that we do not have as much in common as I thought and I either want some time off to see what I want or I may find out I am ready to move on. How do you break off an engagement with dignity and gently as possible?
2006-12-27 00:57:32 · 17 answers · asked by Carolina_on_my_Mind 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be forthright and honest. The longer you delay this the more it is going to hurt. Don't be so quick to move in or get engaged the next time.
2006-12-27 01:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by furiousstyles22003 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You do it in the kindest way possible. You tell him that you've learned some things by living together, and found that you're not as compatible as you thought. This is in no way any reflection on what a wonderful person he is, but you do have doubts about your future. Tell him it would be irresponsible of you to commit to marriage knowing that these doubts exist, and certainly isn't fair to him. Also, breaking an engagement is different than breaking off a relationship. If there's no hope of the two of you marrying and the relationship is over, make sure he understands that.
Make sure that you've arranged to move out. It will be awkward for you to continue to live together for any period of time. Be prepared for him to be heartbroken, and don't be guilted back into the relationship. If you're absolutely sure you aren't going to marry him, then going back to him would be disastrous for you both.
2006-12-27 01:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Number 1 rule: BE HONEST! Don't feed him any crap - just tell him exactly what you just told us, that you truly have concerns and don't know if you can spend the rest of your life with him. Ask him for a break, but specify what that will entail (whether or not you want to date other people). Be prepared, though, because he may be very hurt and just want to break up for good - or he may find someone else while you two are apart.
Make sure that this isn't a "the grass may be greener" type thing before you do it. Evaluate what you two have together...are you really unhappy, or just feel like you might be missing out on something better?
Good Luck!
2006-12-27 01:03:32 · answer #3 · answered by in love love love... 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i became continuously delivered about believe that the engagement ring is a present. that's polite and the right problem to do to go back the present or ring if the female is breaking the engagement. regardless of the indisputable fact that, if the guy differences his concepts (with out a basically and valid reason), then the female would keep the hoop. This, of route, would nor note if the female had done something to reason the smash-up.
2016-10-16 21:48:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you just are not ready to get married. That is a big big step and a lifelong comittment and you will not go through with it until you are absolutely ready, including a marriage date.
(un-necessary stress) If he has a problem with that, then he just gave you a good place to start with of why you are not ready for marriage.
Anyways, that will give you plenty of time to re-organize your thoughts, wants, & needs; and you are not putting any stress on him as well.
2006-12-27 01:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTY!!! Just make an evening where you two can be alone and sit him down and just talk. Be completely honest and calm with him. He will be hurt but if he loves you he will resoect your feelings. He would appreciate knowing how you feel than find out later that you have been hiding these feelings and married him having doubts and ebd up in divorce. HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-27 01:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by beech_babi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best way to go. It sets you free of regrets that you may have had if you didn't tell the truth and it allows him to see exactly what the issues are.
2006-12-27 02:10:54 · answer #7 · answered by Dazed and Confused?? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to tell him exactly how you feel. Sure it will hurt, but it's much easier to get over if you know someone was truly honest. Tell him you need a break then see how it goes.
2006-12-27 01:10:56 · answer #8 · answered by not2bright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come clean out and tell him what you have dicovered about the relationship and that you would like to postpone the engagment until you have had sometime to think things through .Best of luck to you.
2006-12-27 01:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to be honest. Don't go through with a marriage for the lack of not wanting to be rude. Tell him and be done with it.
2006-12-27 01:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by Jewells 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋