I am having a hard time with my divorce someone please help?

Question

I cheated on my husband of 13 years and he gave me another try and I continued to do it and he finally packed up and left it's been 2 months now and he has moved on with another woman and I miss him so much I beg for him to come home and he says no it would never work. I really want him back and I don't know what to do I feel like I am going crazy without him. I know I was wrong to cheat but I thought he didn't love me but he tried to show me show many times and now he has just gave up and I need him so bad my life is meanless without him. How can I get him to come home to me and our 2 kids. I don't want my children to have stepparents I want to raise my kids with my husband. Anyone have advice please help he tells me he still loves me and always will but I think he has moved on and I need him so bad. I know I was wrong for cheating I am not stupid so please don't be harsh I am hurting

Answer 1

It is a painfull situation and there is no easy way for you right now. I suppose there is always a slim chance he may return to you it is not likely and at this point you should not count on it. You have firmly established that he cannot trust you. From his position it would be foolish to come back to you. However, he should be willing to remain a part of his childrens lives and if he is not then he has some very serious issues. And no, your life is not meaningless. You still have two children whom I hope you love dearly. As hard as it is you need to understand that your children are relying on yopu now more than ever and you cannot just abandon them. Dont be in a hurry to look for a replacement either. These rebound relationships are often more disasterous than the original troubled relationship. You will need someone to hold your hand and be an honest and truthfull, yet loving frien to you through this. Good luck. Do not silence the voices in your life that speak what you dont want to hear.

Answer 2

I really don't mean to be harsh however it sounds like you are the classic "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence " kinda gal. I f you were truly in love with your husband why didn't you stop when he caught you the first time? Is the reason you want him back so bad that the "other" man found out you were single and ran? These are all sad scenarios however let me ask you this if the shoe was on the other foot what could he do to get you back? You said you do not want your children to be raised with step parents why didn't you think about that before you started cheating or after you got caught and your hubby forgave you? I am sorry that you are so hurt but I really don't think there is any Good advice for this. If hubby came back then I wonder how long it will be before you start another drama to get his attention. I think the first step for you is to grow up and start behaving like a real woman. This might be the only thing that will bring your hubby home!

Answer 3

Sweetheart. If this man took you back after the first time and then he continued to show you how much he loved you and you still cheated???? It may be a lost cause. If I was you I would seek counseling to find out why you felt the need to cheat because it seems like there's a deeper problem other than what you have said. Counseling could also help you to move on incase things don't work out. - If you decide to seek counseling I would let him know about it and ask him if he would join you. Besides that he may need it himself. If he just left you and is already in a relationship, that can't be healthy either. He's shielding his feelings whether it be hurt or anger. He might be trying to get you back for the pain you've caused him... who knows. We do silly things when we're inlove and hurt. I sincerely hope that I didn't affend you in any way. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Well of course your hurting, you messed up a good thing. I have to say that I would feel sorry for you if it were a one time thing. But you did this for 13 years? Did you think about what would happen? I have to wonder who and what you were thinking about all those years you were cheating not only on your husband but your kids as well. I know you don't want harsh and have a tough time with honesty but how could anyone help you if they were not HONEST. You may never get over the pain, but try learning from this, there are always going to be consiquences in everything you do in life. I have to ask what advise would you give your children if this had been done to one of them? Or what you would want to hear if your husband was the one who did this to you, would you want everyone to feel sorry for him and not care about you? Your life is meaningless now because you played a game of russion roulett and you lost it all! Do you realize that it must have been meaningless before or you wouldn't have done something like that to your family for thirteen years. Get counseling and fix yourself before you try to fix what YOU broke. And He gave you a second chance sorry thumbs down to you, I hope he does find true love and tooo bad for you, I feel sorry for the kids though.

Answer 5

I am sorry you are hurting. Sounds like he really does love you and always will.. How can you guarentee it won't happen again? What made the affair with the other guy stop now? Concentrate on your children and yourself, get some counseling. A person who is strong and owning up to what they've done wrong and trying to face it, is much more attractive than someone begging. I know you are sorry, but why did you cheat in the first place. talk to someone and find out, before you get him back, do it again, and have an even bigger mess. You have to be strong for your kids. You will survive. good luck.

Answer 6

He may still love you, and probably always will, but love isn't enough. He has to be able to trust you with his heart and you have proven to him that he can't. Especially if you told him you loved him and would never cheat on him again and then did it anyway. How can he believe you. You can't even guarantee you won't do it again. You felt unloved, but instead of talking to him and trying to fix it with him, you decided to get love from someone else. I guess you have no choice but to respect his wishes and let him move on with his life and you move on with yours. You were able to find love with someone when he was around, I'm sure you'll be able to again when he's not. Learn from this. Never cheat on anyone again, no matter how bad you think your life is it can always be worse, or better. The choice is yours. If you truly didn't want your kids to be raised with step parents involved, you should have never cheated or at the very least not done it after he gave you a second chance. You must have thought he would put up with whatever grief you gave him. He decided he was worth more and deserved to be with someone that put him first. Now it is time to act like an adult and not put the kids in the middle of your separation.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, you are going to have to move on with your life. Your selfish choices have gotten you were you are today. He gave you a second chance and you took him for granted. Just as hurt as you are imagine he is even more hurt and probably feels as a used fool. You must learn from this mistake and make better choices in the future. He has moved on and this is what you have done, not him. So, be strong pick up the pieces of the mess you have created and wish him well. You really should consider getting into some counseling and get to the root of the issue here, something within yourself that allows you to be so selfish. You did not consider his feelings or the lives of your children the entire time. he gave you a second chance. And you continued on with the affair. And now you are left alone and broken hearted. Leave him alone to move on with his life, he deserves to be happy. Stop being so selfish. Get yourself together and think about the children. Get yourself some help, seriously. Your behaviors are selfish and self seeking. I wish you the best good luck. God bless****

Answer 8

First,

Is the person you cheated with out of your life?

You had your second chance and you blew it; he is really hurt and you have to show him you will not hurt him again.

This is going to take time; you need to open a line of communication with him. You could try to get some professional help here; sit dwon with consuller or (if you go to church) someone there.

If you can't open the communitaction lines; then it is over.

Ask him what you can do to get him to come back; let him vent - sounds like you were in the wrong ont his one so you have to go 90% of the way.

Good luck, you have put yourself in a bad position and it may be too late.

Great that you are trying; just make sure you don't put the kids in the middle.

J

Answer 9

Hard to say it without being harsh. You've caused irrepirable damage. Your actions have hurt him and shown that you didn't think enough about the relationship to work on it when it was there. At this point its too late the ships already sunk, he's boarded another and sailed on. You should do the same. Try to maintain a freindly relationship with him. Thats about the best thing you can do for your kids.
There seems to be a lot of things you need to work on. First off , find some way to be happy with yourself. Your need for a relationship shows a lack of self worth without someone to prove it to you. When you didn't feel your husband was doing the job you found someone else to. Once you've learned to be happy alone maybe you can move on to another relationship but I wouldn't expect it to be with your ex.

Answer 10

"please don't be harsh I am hurting" and how do you think your husband felt when he found out you cheated on your marriage? When one cheats on their marriage they cheat on MORE than just their spouses, they cheat on their families as well. You say you WANT your family back? But if that were true you would have never cheated on them. You made a choice that affected the lives of everyone in your family and you did it without thinking of the consequences. You're just going to have to learn to deal with the fact that your husband no longer wants to be a part of your life regardless of what you want. Basically, marriage is a contract and both spouses are partners, you broke that contract and therefore broke the partnership causing your husband to loose faith in you AND the marriage. If you don't want your children to have step parents I suggest you not remarry, but don't expect your husband to do the same, he is entitled to be able to trust and love another woman even if he no longer has faith in you. You're hurting? What do you think your husband and your children are feeling now that you've destroyed their family?