He likes putting stuff between his legs, and humping! He touches others in strange ways, and in inappropriate places. He has even tried frenching other people at times! He likes to press his genital against other people and other things. Many times we find him lying on the flour just making sounds and doing what might be considered self-excitation if done by an adult! It's really disgusting. My sister and I have started calling him perve; I know it’s wrong but we can’t help it. It’s so annoying and scary that most of the time I end up shouting at him and pushing him away when he attempts his unnatural behaviours. I feel sorry for him, but I'm so worried. What should I do? I'm sure part of it is his influence by television, and so I try preventing him form seeing kissing/making out/touching/cuddling/sex scenes. But It’s not really helping. I’m afraid if he stays like this he'll grow up to be very sick. HELP!!!
2006-12-26 23:35:10 · 20 answers · asked by Pichka 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Parents know. They notice problem to lesser extent though.
2006-12-26 23:40:24 · update #1
Parents know. They notice problem to lesser extent though. PLEASE GIVE REAL PSYCOLOGICAL ADVICE.
2006-12-26 23:41:13 · update #2
You can't expect similar behavior or adaptive responses from somone who is at a earlier developmental level than you.
It would be the same as expecting a baby to not cry during a party because it's in 'poor taste'.
Your 5 yr. old brother is obviously entering a genital fascination phase. Some of this could be because that is the kind that gets other people's attention. In that case, ignoring the behavior usually allows the behavior to 'starve' and the person moves on to the next fascinating set of behaviors.
It could also be that because of his limited theoretical and analytical development, most of what he learns is sensory and response behavior. That is, he does his actions because they feel good to him.
Another thing is that he could be mimic-ing behavior he has witnessed, in an attempt to understand it better. This is because, like a person mimic-ing eating, they are hoping another person will get the message and feed them, especially if they are having some sort of communication problem.
Touching people could be any of the above; attention getting (knowing where to touch someone to get a response), tactile exploration, and/or social mimic-ing. Again, he is five-years old, and he doesn't have the same social and psychological experiences as someone older, so the same actions do not have the same connotations for him.
Actually, the best way to make people 'perverted' is to make them feel 'dirty' for doing things that they consider natural. The conflict, because it festers within them, creates the idea that such feelings are 'perverted' which makes them repressive at the same time heightening them.
When your brother is acting out, try engaging him directly. If he is looking for attention, tell him that if he wants attention/involvement, he has to play the way you want. If he is doing his humping activity, tell him that he can go do that somewhere else, and/or that you will ignore him unless he starts acting differently. Calling him pervert is like calling a baby rude: beyond their social comprehension, and setting up conflict later. It may seem difficult to understand that his behavior is ok, and would be totally different if he were 14 and doing this, but that doesn't mean that you have to enable it either.
Don't try reasoning with a kid, either socially or psychologically. Be simple, use simple ideas (if you do this, then I will do this), and try not to read too much into what he is doing. It is entirely too early in his development to determine if he is 'perverted' or not.
2006-12-27 05:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by Khnopff71 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children change their behaviour all the time, what he is doing at age 5 is nothing to do with any maturing of any sexuality or sex drive etc, he is simply getting attention for what appears to be outlandish and odd behaviour.
Calling him names is really bad.
There is no way that a 5 year old has any such sexual abnormalities, more likely he has seen something, an adult video or seen someone having sex, or heard noises from the next room.
As he acts out this behaviour he is being rewarded and assuming that you are sure he has not been abused, then this will be picked up as suspicious at school I would have thought. But however strange it seems it is very normal indeed for the child to copy what he sees and hears! And repeat it after all this attention he's receiving.
I hope he doesnt go to a school reciting words such as 'pervert', how could a 5 year old possibly understand what one of those is?
He won't grow up to be sick at all! He's 5 not 15. Just a baby with crap influences.
2006-12-26 23:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by My name's MUD 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is so sad!!! That his own sisters are calling/treating him as an adult. His behaviour is normal to a point.......... At 5 years of age, he's finding his sexuality, experimenting with his body etc... to be called a perve by his sister is making things a lot worse! The same way that you tell him off for taking things that don't belong to him, explain that it is not the way to behave in public.
He just needs to learn more about it, remember, he was born without any knowledge of anything, whatever he knows is through others input, and the rest is completely normal
2006-12-27 01:22:42 · answer #3 · answered by damari_8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are your parents or the adults in this family when this child of 5 is carrying on like this? and if they can see him, what do they say or do to him? something is just not right here.We live in a society where EVERYONE is mollycoddled, a parent cannot discipline their child in the name of all the psychobabble spouted by so called know-it-all academics and politicians and where this is not the case, in the name of percieved love they leave children today to rot with no boundaries of knowing what is right or wrong.I sympathise b'cos you calling him a pervert is going to stick and others might be aware and it might stay with him till adulthood.If the adults in your family are too laid back to do anything then YOU do something, go to a family doctor, coming to yahoo! answers in the first place is a step in the right direction, it shows that you care and love your brother and are ready to do something for him.Goodkuck.
2006-12-27 00:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Onyimeme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-28 11:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see how this is difficult for you. It is possible that you brother has been sexually abused by someone, you could try phoning child line, they might be able to offer advice or let you know where to get some. Your brother will probably need professional help to get over this problem. I think you and your sister too could use some help as this is a difficult thing to go through. I would say the sooner that help comes the better. Good luck.
2006-12-27 02:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by funnelweb 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Children act out in this way when they have been or are being sexually abused. It is obvious that your brother has been exposed to pornography at least. You say that the television has influenced him. Is he watching adult (porn) programs?
This behavior is worrisome and not because it's making you uncomfortable. If your parents know about this and aren't doing something about it, you need to call Child Protective Services, or at least a child abuse hotline for advice.
Your little brother needs help. Good luck.
2006-12-26 23:48:43 · answer #7 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't be afraid to discuss this with your parents The wee fella might have an infection under his foreskin and it is irritating him he probably has not been washing his privates or he may even need to be circumcised if there is a problem with his penis. You calling him a perv wont help him he is to young to grasp the meaning of what you are saying ..
2006-12-26 23:51:51 · answer #8 · answered by bighammy1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has been sexually abused or has some medical problem. He needs to be seen by a doctor first to rule out medical problems. Then if the behavior continues, he needs to go to a psychologist or a CSW. There is really nothing else that we can do here to help you. Most of us are not MD's or psychologists.
2006-12-26 23:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by salsera 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried talking to him about it. Pointing out what is and is not acceptable behaviour, or simply asking him why he does it. He may have started it for a reaction/attention and now that he knows he gets it from you, he will continue whenever he wants attention. Try discouraging it by drawing his attention to something else.
2006-12-26 23:53:39 · answer #10 · answered by Donna R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋