Till death do us part....A year from now...?

Question

Why is it that people who spend X amount of money, on these big big big weddings. End up getting divorce before the ink is even dry,
on there marriage certificate?
Have you or do you know some one, that has filed for divorce before the Honeymoon was fully over, 6 - 9 months in to there marriage.

Answer 1

I have known several people that have only been married a year or less before filing for a divorce. They were usually cheated on, beaten up, or otherwise treated badly. A few cases some married weeks before the other spouse deplyed for a year, or during a mid-tour leave ( a 2 weeks time) and found out that they should never have gotten married. The worst one was a friend from high school got married on his mid-tour leave and spent $20,000 on the wedding and then 2 months later found out she was sleeping with one of his friends. They are in the process of a divorce right now. Only about 4 months after getting married..:(

Answer 2

I knew of someone who got divorced exactly nine months after marriage, but it wasn't nearly as "fluffy" as many percieve (no it wasn't me! People have accused me of that when I mention this story because I happen to know the details of her situation well.) Anyway, she was living with the guy, which her parents were not thrilled about, and although she had her reservations about him as well and doubts about her feelings, she felt guilty for having lived with him and felt that by marrying him it would make everything "all right." Her guilt would go away, her parents would be happy, he would be happy, and she would settle in. When you get attached to someone, it's difficult to break it off, even if there are doubts involved (that I DO know from my own personal experience as well). She hoped it would be all right. Well, after the wedding, emotionally she just caved to the reality that it DIDN'T make everything all right, and that she had made a big mistake. So, she ended it within the year. She is now remarried several years in, and expecting her first baby.

I feel bad for people who are persecuted for an early divorce. There are many deep emotional factors that go into the decision. Sure, they may make it LOOK easy, but I bet no one has any clue just how many tears the couple may shed in private. Everyone thinks it's so cut and dry. "If you want to get married, do it, if not, then DON'T." Well, there are many, many driving forces toward the altar that people start to doubt their OWN doubts ("gee, everyone is SO happy for us, I must be crazy to not want this too!"). It gets to the point where you become terrified of disappointing everyone. It's strange how early divorce is viewed as so selfish, when in fact the whole marriage may have happened in the first place as the result of being NOT selfish, more concerned with satisfying others (family, friends, your fiance, etc.) Sometimes it DOES takes the overwhelming "selfish" feeling of "I really need to listen to MYSELF for ONCE" after realizing that it's EACH OTHER you have to live with and sleep with for the rest of your lives and not all the overwhelming adoring fans, and if the feelings aren't there, it's no one's business but your own to correct your very private mistake and get out of it.

Just because someone says "oh fine, that was no problem and quick" when referencing a divorce, don't ever, ever assume it was really an easy solution for them.

Answer 3

That is happening because people are rushing into relationships without really getting to know each other (getting to know how to communicate effectively to each other) and when a real problem arrives (6-9 months later or however long the marriage lasts) the couple simply cannot solve the problem since they were not together long enough to know how to communicate to each other and that is why marriages fail. Well...partly why. There are other reasons like people cheating, wrong choices, etc etc.

Answer 4

I have a friend who got married young (18), and after getting married she moved in with her husband in his parents house. She couldn't stand the way she was treated by them and so ended up leaving after 6 months of marriage...he was not willing to stand up for her and would often side with his family. He was also still a student and had no plans of moving out any time soon so she took off.

I guess its outside forces that led to the divorce but it was still a short marriage.

Answer 5

Yes, I have known some. One got a divorce immediately as her new husband got drunk and broke her nose and cheek bones up pretty badly.

The other got a divorce because he started bossing her 12 yr old son around and she didn't like it.

In both instances neither even thought about the money spent on the weddings.

Answer 6

the sad truth of the matter is that about half of all marriages now are ending before 5 years. many factors can be atributed to this, the first being women are more independent ( im all for equal rights) with women now in the workforce (which is a god thing) women no longer have to rely on the husband to be the sole breadwinner and have to support them, as unromantic as this sounds, it is indeniably true, another is that couples are moving in with each other before marriage which also poses complications in itself. also, Vegas for example, people are known to do such things on a complete whim, not fully realizing the full consequences of their actions that will happen in the near future.

Answer 7

A big thing with this is that I wanted to get a divorce after a few months. my spouse changed, alot. He took love, honor, and obey very seriously..ecspecially the Obey part he felt I had to do Everything for him like he was a king.....our relationship totally changed as he became more contolling. Marry because you love not because you wanna control your partner......

Answer 8

y ex and his wife divorced 8 months after getting married. I think the girl wanted to play house .

Answer 9

They're in lust not in love!
or
They're arrogant gits who only want their way.
or (occasionally)
their hearts led them astray and they were truly in love but found they simply could not live with the person that they or their lover became after being exposed to the complex person-changer that married life is.
or
one of them hides a secret and hopes the other won't find out (like a serious family history of physical and emotional abuse and mental illness which they carry through to their new marriage. She abuses him, he leaves. case closed)

Answer 10

take it this way - if the choice is wrong than it's better to divorce in 6-9 months than in 6-9 years.

Here is a little joke, hope this will make you feel better:

1st year of marriage: husband talkes, wife listens
2nd year of marriege: wife talkes, husband listens
3rd year - both are talking .... neighbours are listening : )

Better to get rid of him before all gets to this point!
Good Luck!