Ive been with this guy off and on since August.... Over the way I disipline my kids, he left.... ( meaning* I didn't beat the snot out of them when he thought they needed a spanking )..... He said sorry he was out of line, and we got back together...... He lives 45m away from me, and the drive for me is hard with kids....... He asked me to come on a week day (night), and I couldn't make it, so he texted me and said, dont try to cover up-- things happen-- I know its hard to keep up with all the men.... I dont cheat** So, we havent talked now for a week or so...... My grandpa just died at 11:30p (12/26)..... I texted him and was crying and said... MY GPA JUST DIED !!!! 10m AGO !!!! He texted back and said Im so sorry ! Thats it !!! Its 3:45a and he still hasn't called me ! Am I just being emotional because my grandpa just died, or am I right in thinking he should've at least called......???? He is mad at me, but still !!!! If Im just being emotional tell me ! Please !
2006-12-26 19:47:55 · 18 answers · asked by Missy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I agree... With all of you...Every opinion.. Im just so sad..... Just had a miscarriage now my grandpa...... WHEW !!!
2006-12-26 20:02:33 · update #1
I would like to say, thank you ! All of you ! I appreciate bluntness... I agree ! Get on with it ... I emailed him and told him its OVER ! I will cry if I speak to him.... Its over now , so I will bury him with my grandpa, and not rehatch what will never be..... Sometimes it takes others to smack ya up side the head and say hey ! Whats up with you ? ! And I agree with all of you ! One poster asked me, would he spank your kids if you weren't home ? I will be honest and say ~ I think so...... So on that note ~ I dont want him..... He doesn't like my kids ~ he couldn't the way he treats them...... Another poster said my kids are learning a pattern from me ~ Something else I never thought of........ Thank you all for your answers and opinions ... Much appreciated ! I feel some better now that he is behind me .... I did it guys !
2006-12-26 23:45:03 · update #2
I am so sorry about your Grandfather, I wish there was something more I could say to help with the pain you must be going through.
I think it's very inconsiderate of him. The way he's been treating you seems to be a pattern. I think you should think about moving on. If he can't support you during this time you need to find someone who cares enough to do so even if they are mad at you. I think he should have come over to be with you. There are a lot of good men out there, you have to weed through some of the others to find the good, but they are there and you deserve better.
It's also concerning the way he left you over the way you discipline your kids. I'm so sorry you had a miscarriage, sounds like you have had a really rough time of it lately. This guy doesn't sound like someone I would want my kids to be around. Would you worry about leaving them alone with him? Would he take discipline into his own hands if you weren't there?
I think you should pick yourself up dust yourself off and when your ready find someone else. Set a good example for your kids that no one should put up with being treated this way by someone like this. Set a good example for them and find a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates all of you.
Again I'm so sorry you lost your Grandfather. It's a reminder that life is short. Don't waste anymore time on this guy who isn't there when you need him. You deserve better and I'm sure you Grandfather would agree.
2006-12-26 21:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be APBT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you not have a mother? Women, by their very nature, are nurturing. They see a child fall down, they react, they feel and they will move worlds to take that pain away. When presented with a situation, a woman will not only look at how the situation will play out, but how it affects others, especially in the world around her. I'm not saying women can't be rational, its just that we tend to have knee jerk reactions. Unless its a math question, there is no rational. By the way, men are the same way, the only difference is their reaction is defensive..."its not my fault, I did nothing wrong, or what does that have to do with me?"
2016-05-23 09:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be trying to give you some time. Alot of men have no idea what to do or say so they figure it's best if they stay away. The kid thing is a tough issue...they're your kids and as long as he not trying to punish them himself he's not a problem. Don't ever let him lay a hand on those kids even if it seems he's trying to take a more fatherly role. He can always come to see you when it's a bad time to haul the kids out to his place. If a man is truly interested in you these things will be no big deal for him. He should want to make it easy for you to spend time together.
Sorry about your grandpa, mine passed away last May.
2006-12-26 20:51:21 · answer #3 · answered by Jenr R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most men cannot handle those type of situations. Give him a chance, he may not be able to handle those type of emotions and didnt know what else to say. I do agree that he should have called to see if you were alright, but again that could have been too tough for him since he may not be used to that. Consider the fact that he has a complete different background (different ways of raising children for an example) try understand the circumstances that made him not phone. He probably just didnt know how to help you in your situation. Try asking him about it, and from there you should be able to see whether or not he was being a total jerk or was just not able to help you in any way.
2006-12-26 19:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip and end it with this guy. He isn't ready for a relationship with you as mother with children, or woman with problems. And what is this suspicious mind about? insecurity or calling the kettle black: Either this guy is playing you since he suspects you (ALSO) run around or he is really insecure.. I bet he loves his freedom and YOU are convenient and then NOT!! DON'Tsettle for this crap!! So maybe you have great sex and he can get that when he feels like seeing you. I am pretty sdure I have read this book. How convenient for him that he doesnt live near you and can be free to do as he likes and treat you this way at the same time. And you DO realize that if he doesnt like the way you handle your kids NOW.. well.. this relationship is going nowhere.. at least nowhere healthy.
Give yourself a wonderful gift. END IT!
Celebrate NYEVE with your kids or other family.
Start over and this time, be your OWN best friend FIRST!
2006-12-26 20:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by fjäril 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. *hugz*
yes, he should have called you. He has done a few things that should send sirens off. First he doesn't like the way you handle your kids. That's a bad relationship to start off in. The truth is that he probably doesn't like them. Next, he asked you to come to his house on a weekday which shows little regard for your children's wellbeing. He wants to come before them. and now he shows a casual disregard for you feelings by not calling to console you during your time of need. You deserve better than that dear.
2006-12-26 19:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by reowrrrr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that your grandfather died.
Your grandfather would have wanted better for you then to worry with this man. If he thinks your kids are 'a handful' and he considers you to be dishonest, I dont see what the question is. Even if you were fighting, shouldn't he be big enough to suspend his anger to confort you at a time like this? Do your kids a favor, change your number and bury your memories of this guy right next to your grandfather.
He sounds unworthy and it would be a horrible addition to the lives of your kids!
2006-12-26 19:52:42 · answer #7 · answered by lisa s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry about you grandpa! That's really lame to deal with, especially during the holidays, being strong for your kids, etc. You have every right to your feelings, whatever they are. Remember to go through them, (at the right times), and don't let his lack of response be the thing you focus on right now. You've got your kid's to think of, not to mention yourself. Forget him, for right now. And luck, love, & prayers.
2006-12-26 19:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by Toni 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me that you two have very conflicting opinions on a lot of things, remeber that your kids are more important than any new guy, and remeber to get their input too, (completely unrelated, but its important that they dont feel left out etc.) it also sounds to me that he doesnt have any trust in you, which is a MUST in any successful relationship, plus if hes constantly belittling you, thats considered abuse. to be quite frank with you form what ive read here i really dont think that this guy is worth your time of day at all and you and your kids would be much better off without him.
2006-12-26 19:53:38 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think often some guys dont know how to react with different feelings... maybe he feels he is giving you space to grieve... and the fact is it is so early in the morning he may have been half asleep. If you really need to chat, why not pick the phone up and call him... Dont stress things will work out if its meant to be. My condolences for your loss
2006-12-26 19:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by Ehlana 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋