I am currently in the middle of a divorce. I am seeking custody of our baby.?

Question

My wife was raised by a mother who abused her severely. She was placed in several homes. My wife had always seemed to resent her mother. She wanted to rise above this,but since 2001 she has been in the hospital twice for suicide attempts and 2 other times for drug and alcohol abuse. She failed a drug screen the day our baby was 6 mos old. She was nursing and was taking something which could cause harm to the baby. We separated,with me keeping baby most of the time. After 2 mos of separation, she filed a false charge of domestic violence and filed for divorce the day she went in drug rehab for 6 wks. She was awarded temporary custody even though she was in rehab. Wife has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She is allowing her mother to keep our 21 mo old on a regular basis. My attorney tells me that I have no rights at this time as to who keeps her. I have documentation of many of the grandmothers atrocities which will be submitted at trial. What can I do in meantime

Answer 1

have your lawyer to sue the court system or the state bureaucracy that gave your wife custody for violation of your civil rights under the 14th amendment.... which states that sex is not supposed to be an issue in custody cases but seems to be the practice of the state to award custody to the mother regardless of her parenting skills or competence... that could get your case some media attention...

this might draw everyone's attention to the competence of your ex-wife or her mother and may help you get your kid back...

dude play like the women... if you want the kid "go to the mattresses" play dirty and don't give anyone an even break... those are things women do to win in court... you being a man are already being prejudiced in the system to start with...

Good Luck

Answer 2

You could go to the court house and file a protection from abuse order on the bahalf of your child. When you go, be prepared to speak to a judge and have documentation of the reasons why you think she could be at risk of abuse. Make sure the paperwork is all legit and notarized. Be prepared to write out a very full and lengthy description (in a professional adult like manner) of what you see is going on. It is much better if you do this ahead of time and attach it to the papers that you file. This way, you have time to think about every last detail and get it into order so it sounds right. It would help to have someone that you trust you read over it as well to see how it sounds to them.

If your lawyer is unable to help you submit these requests with the court, then maybe it is time to seek out a different lawyer. If you have the money, in the situation it is well worth it to pay whatever it takes to get the best lawyer you can. Take out a loan if need be or set up a payment plan with a good family lawyer.

If you think you may not get custody of your baby then you should at least request that your ex take parenting, anger management and drug counceling courses. If she fails to do those things when ordered by court then you could be granted custody right away. You also may want to volunteer to take the parenting class for yourself, just because it looks good and it wont hurt to do it.

Good luck, I hope that your family makes it thorugh this okay.

Answer 3

Unfortunately not a lot at the moment. All you can do is wait for the court hearing and present all your evidence. Hopefully the evidence will speak for itself and the judge will make the appropriate ruling. It is going to be hard for your wait but in the meantime I am assuming that you have visitation rights so make the most of the time you spend with your child. If not then your lawyer needs to arrange this as the courts like both parents to have access to a child to ensure balance in the child's life.

One thing you need to remember is that it is all about the child. As a parent you have no rights but a responsibility to the child. It is the child who has all the rights and the courts will ensure this is maintained. Also remember to keep your arguments re custody about what is best for the child and not constantly criticise the mother as you will come across as the negative parent. Just remember to keep it about your son/daughter and what is best for him/her.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Not a whole lot, unfortunately at this point til this does come to court. Keep a record of anything that happens at gmas and get all your wives medicalrecords you can get or have your atty subpanoe them if necessarily as you will have to prove her unfit as a mother and gma too. If you feel the child is actually being abused at gmas dont hesitate to call the police, but make sure youre right and give any proof. Dont go on speculation or hearsay as this would be the worst thing you could do at this point. I realize its not easy but you must be patient here as you can easily screw this up. Just keep recording everything and push your atty to get the earliest court date possible due to possible child endangerment. Good luck

Answer 5

GET ANOTHER ATTORNEY!! You DO have rights, you are the child's biological father. Sue for custody NOW, do not believe the people that tell you "the woman's gonna win." My brother-in-law went through a very similar situation and was awarded custody. You have to take this to court, provide evidence for her drug use (that put your child in immediate danger as she was breast feeding) and her mental disorder. Your child is in danger with your mother-in-law, don't wait a second longer. Good luck.

Answer 6

I have no answer and I am sorry. Your predicament is unfortunate, I hope you are able to give your baby a loving, stable home. It would seem to reason that as long as your documented concerns are brought out in court you will win. Perhaps you can work with her mother to assure that the baby's best interests are met. She seems like a lost soul who needs direction and that maybe her mother is trying to make up for what she did to her daughter by saving her baby. direct the Mother to her daughter and focus on your child. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 7

I would just play it cool until trail. This will make you look the best. However, federal law states that if the child is in IMMEDIATE danger and a non custodial parent fears for their life that you do not have to return the child after a visit. But, you better make damn sure that this is the case. I'd listen to my lawyer and abide by the temp. order if I were you.

Answer 8

i'm normally for the wife to keep her children but in your case i would recommend that you take a ruthless lawyer. then proceed to to show the court how due to her childhood and abusing mother, your wife has turn to this bad condition.(attempting suicide is an exanple).then show that your baby risks going the same way . also her drug addiction,+alcohol,you will be able to prove her to be an unfit mother.leave it to your lawyer and you'll be fine.ask for the custody of your baby with visitation allowance for your soon to be ex wife. prove that she is unfit mother and you'll get your baby.99% chance of winning over your wife

Answer 9

I feel for you. Keep pushing your attorney for at least temp custody. You cant let your baby grow up in that kind of environment. You are the baby's father. Can she prove the FALSE charge of domestic violence. Can you prove yourself to be better. Like any charactor witnesses? Please make the lawyer see all the suicide attempts in them and get that baby NOW!!!!! Good Luck.

Answer 10

First of all I would Pray! (hopefully that doesn't offend you)! Then I would seek another attorney. It is very obvious that the is not stable nor is she safe. She has already neglected the baby once simply by nursing while having a substance in her system. I could go on and on but I would suggest that you seek another attorney~