My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We have been through a lot but never anything like this. He has a myspace account. I never really paid much attention-he said it was for his business. Last week I took our kids to a xmas thing, while he was shopping or so he told me. I found out that he had gone out of town to meet a female "business contact". He claimed that they went shopping but ended up back at her house. He claims that they didn't have sex or anything close to it. But I was still livid. His He had never mentioned her before.He left his myspace up on the computer. I saw today that he was emailing this woman with the subject as "I love You". The emails say that he is going to divorce me to be with her, that I am no more than a roommate etc. In older emails he lied to her that I had a bf. In one email from today she said that I judged her and I was a cu**. I don't know the woman. I have never snooped before. Should I get an attorney. Thanks everyone
2006-12-26 19:18:54 · 16 answers · asked by TommyGirl869 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh honey you should definitely get a lawyer asap. I don't know what state you live in though but some have a no fault clause but if you happen to be in a state that doesn't have that then you should be ok. If there is not a no fault clause then you can get him for adultery. You can stick it to him good. You can use his myspace account as evidence. You should get someone in there that knows computers and have them print you off hard copies though. If there is a chance you can get him stuck w/ adultery you can also get alimony because you have been a devoted wife and mother and he has caused you to become accustomed to the lifestyle with which you are living now. Get everything in writing in your settlement. Don't be stupid like I was and believe that he will indeed pay half of your childrens insurance or help with school expenses. You get EVERYTHING in your divorce agreement written out. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you. I know this is tough because I went through it. Jan. 11th will be one year for me and it is really hard. What is worse is all the new information you will learn once everything is out in the open. Good luck once again.
2006-12-26 19:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by Tina S 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The Bible gives you grounds for a divorce if there has been adultery. It gives you the right to remarry! But, that doesn't always have to happen. I've known of cases where the offended spouse decided to forgive, and to move on with their lives, and years later was very happy they had. Any time there is adultery, there is going to be the lies, whether it is on email, or just lying. It really doesn't matter what she says, does, thinks, or wants. Is what matters "what do you want?" What does your husband say? Does he want a divorce? Have you asked him what he wants to do with his marriage? Be HONEST! with him! Find out what he is thinking?! Print out his emails so you have something to show him, so he knows that you do KNOW what you are talking about, and he can't deny any thing, as the "proof is in the pudding." So, it is entirely in your court now! If you feel you need an attorney, if you feel you need a divorce, then "count the cost" FIRST of either action! It does sound like your marriage needs to go through a re-vamping time! A lot of marriages after the 15th yr. goes through changes, some good, some bad! We as people grow and change, even in our marriages! We have to decide what we are going to do when there has been some serious infraction done to us. No one can make this decision but you!
2006-12-27 03:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think before you make any moves sit down and have a talk with your husband and see where his head is at. You don't want to throw away 16 years of marraige over some myspace girl especially since children are involved. The key thing is talk to your husband find out why he did what he did and if he has any remorse. From there it is up to you if you want to give him another chance, if you feel it is not worth working out get an attortney. ( make sure the children are not caught in the middle of this). If you feel you do want to work it out with him seek counseling and set strict restrictions on online chats. Remember this myspace girl has nothing on you. You are the mother of his children I presume and his wife, this myspace girl has none of that
2006-12-27 03:34:41 · answer #3 · answered by Starry Eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
AAAWWW I am so sorry for you! why do men have to LIE to the other women about what a crappy relationship they have at home!? most of the time THEY ARE THE ONES WITH THE ISSUES. I mean really that hurts me so bad that he had to tell his ho that. Ya and please don't tell me you BELIEVE that NOTHING HAPPENED line he fed you, okay that's a NO, NO! that's the first thing weak men say WHEN THEY DON'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS! hahaha!
Snoop more for back up you'll need it start with the cell phone bills girl. Credit card records, bank accounts etc.
If your not going to KICK HIM TO THE CURB. May I suggest therapy...I mean personally he doesn't sound worth it because I know YOU MENTIONED you had kids? and when I think about how people are just screwing around while they have kids at home...it just makes me want to vomit!
Selfish *******, it's always about THEM. And maybe you should get to know the Ho tramp from myspace.. Slap her down a few times for the kids!
Good luck
2006-12-27 03:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I could ask alot of questions like how long has he been emailing her, seeing her, yada, yada, yada.....acutally these questions do not matter. Let's get straight to it...YES YOU SHOULD!!! I think you already know the answer to this question...and this decision is always a very hard one to make...I actually stayed around for another 3 years hoping things would change and everything he told me would come true.....all I did was prolong my pain and my children's pain. Life is too short to hang with someone who obviously has decided that the grass is greener elsewhere....his loss your gain.
Go out there and be happy, with a man or without, you deserve it!!!
2006-12-27 03:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by klouise 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st you should have emailed her back. And told her a thing or two, like the truth for starters. Your husband is a as*hole & a cheater..It sounds to me like he is playing the both of you. Let him know that he hasn't even began to see a c*nt yet but that it won't be long.. You should get a attorney & take him for whatever you can he sounds like a pig. I'm sorry..take care
2006-12-27 03:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by lori 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney and take half of everything you own, his retirement, his pension. You can make his life a living hell (without even trying) and she won't ever want him (good for the revenge aspect of it), you basically have this man by the balls. Sorry he didn't honor what he had but that's his loss. Good luck!
2006-12-27 03:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Print those emails from the two of them and get an attorney! HE thinks he can have his cake and eat it too! Tell him you won't stand for it! But MOST IMPORTANTLY PRINT THE MAILS from BOTH him and the other woman! Print anything that you can, you will need documentation of this!
2006-12-27 03:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by jen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take all his money, then find a lawyer.
He's a liar and a dirtbag has probably done it before and will probably do it again.
E-Mail the woman yourself, tell her the truth, if she doesn't care then leave, after you have cleaned out his accounts first.
2006-12-27 06:15:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn right you should leave that bas*ard and get an attorney fast. The first one file is the one they court listens to more.
Take him for EVERYTHING you can get, including alimony and pension.
Good luck!
2006-12-27 03:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by LC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋