A woman in distress,from all walks of life,with dependents on her.The man loving her isnt sure of marrying her,but has confirmed he would in coming months ,a little too late for the dramatic sequences happening in her life.He is away from her in another country.Another person comes in her life as a samaritan to save her from being wrongly defamed,and to regain her selfrespect and secure future.He confesses his love and respect for her,she is already burdened with his goodness and being a great support and cant say no to him,despite knowing he as a married man with a kid.However,she is transparent both ways to admit she is falllen for the married man to the man loving her.Her lover is cruelly hurt by her supposed disloyalty towards him,but still wants to marry her.She too doesnt want to ruin the helping mans family life,but cant openly end the ties with him.At the same time she is feeling guilty of hurting the man loving her.
2006-12-26 18:59:43 · 14 answers · asked by aquarian 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She herself is educated and cares less about wallets of men,the problem here is her life in distress,she wanting a strong person to support her,which the man loving her wasnt sure of untill her problems came to neck and he knowing the symptoms that she would leave him for his fear of marriage,he hurriedly mailed her that he would marry her this summer.Whereas the man helping her wasnt destroying his family life he said.She doesnt want to become a honewrecker,but is caught in a situation where she has to choose love and security.
2006-12-26 19:33:43 · update #1
writing a novel,how do u find this idea?
2006-12-27 08:20:04 · update #2
Hi Indiana, What a mess.She needs to get away from the marry man. That is a very big mistake. She knows he is marry,and has a child from the marriage.She is all mix-up in her head right now. Why would she want to be the woman,who wreaks another womans marriage. If she doesn't want to marry the guy who loves her,she needs to move on.
What would i choose? I would choose Love over security. I have to be in love with the person,i am going to marry,or live together.
Clowmy
2006-12-26 19:15:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow sounds like you have a real mess on your hands!
If the guy is married then he should not even been part of your question. If he is cheating on his wife then how in the hell would you think he would be a great companion for YOU?
Part of your problems is that you should learn how to say no more often
You seemed to imply that you have some children already who have fathers who have ran away. It does not appear that you are a very good judge of character.
DO everyone involved in this situation
LEAVE them both alone
the guy that loves you: leave him alone because you dont love him and cannot be faithful to him
the guy that is married: yourself respect will thank you for it later, his child and his wife will too and lastly, you can work you way from the coal shoveling position in the afterlife
YOur kids are probably being neglected thru this ordeal with you and your multiple lovers and your childish reply to this problem.
Make them and YOURSELF a priority. WHen you do, you will not have to contemplate between two terrible choices
Marry for love
not for security
2006-12-26 19:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by lisa s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a woman yourself, I thought you have an answer!!
You do not say if she IS in love with her man or not. On the other hand, you DO say that her man DOES LOVE HER and still want to marry her. Does she looks after her and their children? If yes, she should stick with him and solve their problems together. She should not sell her "love" to the highest bidder! Besides, the new man, as you say, is married and has a child! How can she be sure that what he is doing now, i.e. saying that he is in love with her, will not happen in future towards someone else, like her?!! She is volunarable.
Love and security are mutually inclusive! Love without security is loveless, and security without love is nightmare! You need both. However, security is not necessarily MONEY. The problem occurs when we confuse security and money!!! You can have money but no security. In most cases, money brings in insecurity as you have to buy security witth your money. In that case you feel INSECURED.
She should choose LOVE, provided its mutual. Security will no doubt follow!
2006-12-26 19:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ebby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love should normally ensure security as well.. But there are conflicts in the life of many unfortunate young women... The lovers - both the one who loved her but did not confirm his decision to marry; and the other person who came to help her but also expressed his love in spite of having a wife already - have to be studied closely before taking a final decision, by the girl concerned...
The first lover, having expressed his love for her ought not to have had a doubt about marriage... love is not like dating... in Indian context... Further he is said to have been furious over the girl's friendship with another person... Though he still may want to marry her - out of obvious infatuation with the girl and his own possessive nature - he may not fight shy of pointing out her infirmity in future - citing her past desire to go with another person in his absence - repeatedly, after the initial thrills of "love" are gone... I put the love in quote because all this talk of love in current social sense are against infatuation over the beauty or special character of a person (like her talent in music, etc) rather than an "unconditional and abiding interest" in the person he is said to love (in the real sense of the term)... Such irritation by the hubby may seriously hurt the girl and spoil her future peace...
The married man ought to have been more infatuated by some attractive quality of the girl and encashing on her needs for support, should have offered a support... his "love" also is questionable... But the girl may not necessarily show her gratitude by fulfilling his wishes to be a partner ... He may start having more and more such partners,,,
May God show a good way to you... don't be in a hurry... to jump into either the frying pan or the fire... world is too big and the God has a 1000+ arms to take care of His children... wait in faith for that eternal Lover the Almighty who will help your family and give a good partner to you as well ...
2006-12-26 19:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, young lady. I'm 62 years old, and I think there ain't such a thing as security, or I'm strongly mistaken. What I found though, is that keeping a word is the next thing to building a shelter where you can find trust and confidence. In your shoes, I'd try to sort things out and find out if I committed myself to do something, anything and then , proceed to be the person of my word, is all.
2006-12-26 19:16:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't mess with a married man!
It's ok to be in love with him in your heart. But keep it IN your heart.
If the other guy truly feels for you and is a kind and caring man (of acceptable looks and sexual behaviour) and you truly need a man right now, go with him and be at peace knowing you've made the right decision. If he is kind and caring, you will grow to love him and your heart will heal.
2006-12-26 19:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Real women choose love", my ***. Love don't pay bills and provide financial security, babe. Security first, love second and I'll tell you why: if he loves you, he'll wait till forever until you get yourself straightened out to provide for yourself and your family. If he can't wait, then poo on him, he ain't the one. Good luck to you.
2006-12-26 19:28:21 · answer #7 · answered by Detroit Diva 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this case I would choose security.
2006-12-26 19:04:52 · answer #8 · answered by lilmisstickletoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mine is both but in your situation i think you better choose love coz if you choose security you will ruin other family but its your choice i'm only giving my opinion.
2006-12-26 20:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As per my knowledge women can LOVe anyone if he has thick valet and GREE $$$s
2006-12-26 19:19:21 · answer #10 · answered by 498A_Crusader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋