DO you find the idea of a "Open Relationships" personally interesting or completely objectionable?

Question

Just in confidence...would you like the idea if you were with someone and that someone was OK with the idea, that you could go and mess around with someone else that they approved of, or that there could even be a 3way set up sometimes?

Any combination of F-M-F, M-F-M, M-M-M, or F-F-F...the question is open to all types here!

ALSO...please...
I'm not interested in a sexual disease lecture or a religious lecture as the major point of a answer, just grapple with the concept of a open relationship and if you would find it appealing or not.

Thank you for participating here on this thread.

Answer 1

If there was a utopia, and there were no such things as jealousy and disease, then the idea might be o.k. but I know they do exist and when you bring a third party into the mix, it gets VERY complicated VERY quickly. The only time it ever came up in my life, the complications arose so fast it made my head spin, because, let's face it=we are humans with human emotions and human frailties.

Appealing? Intriguing? Hmmmmm. Possibly. Could it ever work? Not for the long haul and not in a truly lasting relationship.

Answer 2

I find "open relationships", as you put it, appealing, intriguing, and very definitely possible. Mostly, I suppose, because I am _in_ an open relationship right now. I've been with the same guy for 2 years, and our relationship has been "open" for about 9 months. My fiance and I have both had sex outside of our relationship, sometimes while the other was involved and sometimes while the other was not. It's really not as difficult as it sounds. It just takes _lots_ of communication. You have to be completely honest with your partner, and with the other people you're involving. An open relationship is _not_ an excuse to cheat or fool around behind your SO's back. Neither my fiance or I have ever done anything without the other's knowledge.

Mostly, I think, it's a way to fulfill fantasies (both mine and my fiance's, before anyone starts into the whole "it's a man's idea" thing). I've been involved in threesomes (M-M-F and M-F-F), full-out swaps (I get some from another woman's SO while my SO gives her some), and even an orgy or two.

And trust me, we are far from the only ones in the world who feel this way. For an educational experience, search for "swingers clubs" or "swingers groups" on Yahoo or Google. There's a whole subset of society who heartily approve of this type of lifestyle, and can make it last. I'm friends with a couple who swing, have 2 children, and have been married for 27 years.

For us, though, it's strictly physical. He is the only person I have (or ever will) give my heart to, and I know that I can say the same about him.

Answer 3

Truthfully, I've grappled....and I have to say I'd find it personally objectionable. Perhaps because of my own insecurities, but I'd like to think it's more than that....

It all comes down to Love in a relationship. If a man takes that one thing away that is only supposed to happen between the two of you, what then is the distinquishing factor, the "thing" the two of you share with only each other??

Also, I have to know that my partner can resist a little temptation, because I don't Mother anyone but my children. If this was suggested to me, and I said NO, everytime that guy walked out the door I'd wonder if he was up to getting into another woman.

I think sexual experimentation is a good thing, but only while single....that's just me.

Answer 4

Me personally I am not okay with the Idea. I would get very Jealous if my BF was sleeping with someone else Afraid that they would like them better. The point of a secure intimate relationship Is that no one else can be in that intimate bubble you both create, Just you and that one person you choose to love and care for. Thats what will make your bonds together stronger. The trust in a relationship is a foundation for all things with in the relationship to stand upon. The relationship fails when you expose the relationship to outside influences and a trust is broken or an intimacy is not intimate any more and where sex for sex sakes may seem to be a good idea and I do know of WOMEN and MEN that love the Idea, I for one think that once that imtimate bubble is broken and someon else can enter the relationship at any given point and enjoy what you only could share with the one you cared about then whats the point of even trying to be with one person at all.

Answer 5

I find it acceptable, if both persons in the relationship agree. There can always be rules of certain kinds. We need to distinguish between love and sexual desire/acitivity (though ideally they should go together). The dangers are that one person will press for this more and persuade the other person to do it, or that the intimate contact with a third person could develop into a relationship. All in all, the most important thing is trust, in the sense that it is acceptable for both pqrtners to agree to an open relationship but unacceptable if one of them pursues someone on the side.

Answer 6

Open relationships only work if both primary partners trust each other and have open communication. I personally know of open relationships that work really well for all concerned and then I know of many many other relationships where one person is monogomous and the other person isnt and there are all sorts of jeolousies and hurt, because one person wants to live their life one way and the other person doesnt. In this case, it isnt so good being the monogomous person with a partner who wants to be "open". Logically, one would say well two people who both want an open relationship and are able to communicate and reestablish the primary relationship continually, then this sort of relationship would work really well. But then, people sometimes without even their own consent have feelings of jeolousy and hurt and betrayal and I think in that case, then people should talk about those feelings and perhaps have counselling.

What I find to be more annoying is when people secretly want to have and be in an open relationship but they do not communicate this to the intended primary partner and this is why people creep and cheat on people that they "say" that they love. Love isnt just an empty word. It means work, hard work to communicate with the other person and negotiate and RESPECT (see song by Aretha Franklan of same name). But this requires both people to actually be adult in relationships and be brave and many times people are not brave with their partners because they are afraid of revealing that they do indeed want to "explore" their sexuality with more than one person.

Answer 7

I think it depends on the original relationship, the twosome. If the twosome are serious about each other, I don't think it's honestly possible to be okay with adding more. I think they really have issues that they either are or are not being honest about. If the relationship is casual, I think it's totally cool to add more if both parties are interested. But there are so many unexpected feelings that come up when you add more, like jealousy you thought you wouldn't feel, and possible embarassment about things you may have done in the heat of the moment, that you really need to be able to walk away from the person if things go bad. I don't believe people who say their relationship is "strong enough" to handle it, it's quite the opposite- their relationship is "weak enough" to handle it!

Answer 8

I believe there to be as many types of relationships as there are relationships ... I mean, each relationship does make their own rules, be it an open, closed, semi-closed, or whatever type you may come up with.
Personally, I don't believe in open relationships since I value monogamy and I wouldn't like to share my couple with someone else, but on the other hand, who am I to proclaim that every relationship should be like my own?
As long as you're comfortable with whatever it is that you're doing, and you're doing it safe and taking into account your couple's feelings ... go ahead and enjoy it!

Answer 9

Open relationships are not for everybody. For me, it won't work coz I am into a monogamous and committed relationship. I don't want to preach but whatever works for you, do it. It really depends on your personality. If your the type of person whose taste changes like the weather you might opt for an open relationship or better yet get a fu c k buddy instead. As I have said whatever works for you.

Answer 10

I suppose it would depend on the relationship.I use to think that only monogamous relationships are "true" relationships.But cheating is such a high probability and so monogamous relationships don't always work for everyone.But "open" relationships that allow two partners to have other sexual experiences with the consent of each other might be a much healthier option then blind deception.So, for me, I suppose it would depend on the type of relationship I had and what type of trust we had developed.