Earlier today i ask my fiance why he didn't spend christmas with me and our 2mo daughter he said he didn't feel good his throat was sore etc. I said my throat hurt to but it's alright for me to be around her. I'm like this was her first christmas. He said so what she will have more, it was just another day, and that he been thru first christmases with his other daughters,but i was like she is not them. I said if she ever ask let her know that you were being selfish and your other daughters had you at their first christmas. I swear i wasn't nagging, i wasn't fussing, i was just hurt that he talk so nasty like. Yall ready he told me women like me are why men don't c their kids that hurt,i'm like, like me, what a woman that is patient, 1that don't cuss you out, or disrespect u, 1that has showed unconditional love and he said don't call him unless its a emergency but by 2morrow he will apologize becuz he was sick. How wood u handle this please help. I am just about fed up.
2006-12-26 18:24:11 · 5 answers · asked by k2u 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I consider that very serious, a child is a very precious gift, he should want to be with her. considering that, you might want to spend some time away from him, and see if anything changes. If it doesn't, you might want to consider leaving him.
2006-12-26 18:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide right now how you want to be treated in this relationship. I don’t care how sick someone is, that does not give them the right to treat anyone like dirt, and with no respect.
You need to establish your boundaries, and then you need to share them with him. You need to be up front about your feelings. You can’t keep them to yourself and hope that things just get better.
You also have to listen to and except his feelings. Everyone has their own feelings about every situation. For example, he might not feel that it’s important to be there, because he feels she won’t remember her first Christmas. This may be his feeling, and he has a right to that feeling. It isn’t right or wrong. However, this gives you feelings about the subject as well. Feelings, which he must acknowledge. You feel hurt by this and you feel that you and your child seem less important than his other children. Once again, this doesn’t make it true. There is no truth to feelings other than the fact that we all have our own individual feelings. You really need to establish the ground rules. You both will listen to how the other “feels” about something and discuss it, like reasonable adults. There is no reason to cuss each other out. Get a dialog going and work through the problems. It should bring you closer in your relationship.
If this doesn’t work you may want to speak with your religious leader. Most churches offer classes, to newly married or soon to marry couples, which help with communication. There are also marriage counselors to assist you.
2006-12-27 02:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by Dave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my siser had a similar situation with the father of her first child. what i want to say is that sometimes men dont see what we women see, the emotional side, the things that we see so meaningful, because those little things to them may sometimes not mean much. how were his childhood xmas? how does he view christmas? most times people dont have the most wonderful memories and are still hurt by that, therefore they may not see christmas in the special way that we do ( that u do). when u get to speak with him, give him I messages, dont start your converation by saying, "how can you be selfish, or how can YOU" because that will just make him feel attacked. Maybe you can try to say something like , " it would have been nice to see you during christmas" or " i felt hurt when u didnt show up" ....its tough with men sometimes, because the problems that they are giving us may be problems that they had as infants, so sometimes we have to try to understand their actions even though we dnt want to.
2006-12-27 02:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by *gurl* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
but where did he go then? he might have a sore throat but you can still at list sit on the couch with everyone around and have fun it doesn't mean you have to go out and jump up and down and all around gosh some people don't get it (I'm referring to your man) but why don't you tell him nicely how your feeling about what happened and don't get your temper high because then he wont listen trust me I'm right in this, they roan away once you start screaming at them lol but hey also what happened happened and all you can do now its talk to him about it let him know how you felt and listen to what he has to say but keep your kool all the way... you have to be friendly oK... remember COMMUNICATION its the KEY to a relationship ;) if you don't have that you'll go MAD lol
2006-12-27 02:34:27 · answer #4 · answered by Tina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
prolly look for another fiancee, unless you know for sure he had spent it with his sick mom.
2006-12-27 02:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋