I am not the best of friends with the guy, but did know him first...but he DOES treat her like crap. She says she has love for him, but has never really been IN love with him. Then why marry him right? Well she thought no one would ever come along. She wasn't the prom queen in HS, but she's gone to the gym, and is super hot now!! They are each other's only real boy/girlfriend, intimate partner etc...She's had feelings for me, and eventually the feelings grew. We have fallen in love with each other, even though I was quite reluctant. I am a fellow of divorce. so I know how it feels (guys POV) so I made sure it was real by letting her relocate 5 states away for 6 monthes. We talk everyday 3-4 times a day, and I can honestly say that I am in love with her. She seems reluctant now that I have relocted to be with her. She want to divorce, but wants an opportune moment, so I let the holidays pass. How do I get the ball rolling without an ultimatum feeling...Someone please help!!!
2006-12-26 18:12:30 · 8 answers · asked by in love, but need help 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What God has put together let no man put asunder. Words to live by.
2006-12-26 18:21:12 · answer #1 · answered by DivaDynamite 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well just let me tell you I was in a similar situation once and I walked away from it. I figure if someone can't decide who they want to be with then I don't want them....I want the whole person, and I deserve it. If she loves you, she will leave.
If she is reluctant because of feeling sorry for him, she just needs to get over that and do what will make her happy. He is not going to kill himself. If he makes a scene at work, that would be bad, but if you don't reveal your relationship right away then that would probably keep that from happening. Is there any possibility the two of you could move away and avoid all of the drama? It probably will get ugly for awhile, but if you love each other, you will overcome all of it eventually.
2006-12-27 02:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must look at the situation at what IS.
If she is willing to move on from her last love to you, think about how she first felt for him.
She very well may have felt the same way you both are feeling now, yet obviously she found someone else she wants to be with , wether out of curiosity , se x , etc.
Her pattern of behaviour will continue, as does most patterns that are not looked at and examined by the Self.
Most likely, she Will do the same to you that he is to him. in the future.
She will meet another whom she feels love for, start being with him, and leave you behind.
Step back, look at all the picture. and KNOW what you see.
Pattern, even if its just starting, is still a pattern.
Then decide wether you want to be part of it or not.
2006-12-27 02:18:30 · answer #3 · answered by stuart_slider 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are in a tough situation. You want to be selfish and tell her it's now or never? Or want to be patient and wait till she is ready? You need to make sure she is honestly over her husband when she divorces him or you will get hurt. Too many times I see people go back to their ex's. She may be swinging you both around until she has decided what to do and that is not fair to her husband or you. So an ultimatum may not be such a bad idea. The Hoildays are over now.
2006-12-27 02:18:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok well you should let her go untill she is divorced .if she is dragging her feet about getting a divorce and leaveing her husband then maybe she realizes she loves him more than she thought. and why would you wantto become a home wrecker ? i know you say you really love her .but you got to know if she cheats on her husband with you and she does,that she will cheat on you to . so you might wantto consider this allso. anyway let her have space ,give her sometime like a few weeks to make her mind up and if she is still dragging her feet and not sure then dump her. i wish you luck i think you will need it.
2006-12-27 02:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unlike what you are probably in for here, I 'm not going to judge what you're doing.
I do think you need to let her make the first move. Otherwise you may wonder forever if you took her from this guys home and straight into yours.
If she is the one to make the move to speed things up, I think you can be pretty sure she's ready.
2006-12-27 02:20:27 · answer #6 · answered by outdone 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You have to tell her she has to leave him.......preferably before she commits adultery.....you can't help who you fall for and its not going to be any easier if she waits.....hes gonna be pissed! If she stays with him out of pity it will never work anyway....
2006-12-27 02:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Let her divorce for you. Wait and be patient.
2006-12-27 02:17:12 · answer #8 · answered by foxxmay2001 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋