HELP! My ex GF is 5 mo pregnant, & not ONCE been to a Dr...her excuse is she's waiting for medicaid to kick in, yet she still hasn't returned the forms. We had an ultrasound at a free clinic at 4th week, & that's it. I've offered to take her & pay myself, she refuses. She'll only talk to me thru email, I can't reason w/ her. Told her I was going to drag her to an OB if I have to, she told me she'd take care of it. She seems depressed, I know she's mad at me, but there is more at stake here than our relationship. I love her and want to get back together, she doesn't. Regardless, this baby has to be cared for first. Who can I contact that has the power to MAKE her go? DFS? Police? I don't want to get her in any legal trouble, but I am worried about her and the baby's health. I haven't seen her in weeks, she doesn't want me in the baby's life. She's 32, & it's her 3rd baby. She knows better. She lives w/ her ex, he doesn't seem to care. Am I overreacting? Is this not an unwarranted risk?
2006-12-26 18:05:27 · 16 answers · asked by dick 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
wow.. you must really love that girl for you to still love her despite that shes living with her ex now..
i dont know if there is any legal thing to make her go to a doctor.
i think its all up to her because it looks like you did everything you can to convince her.
2006-12-26 18:59:53 · answer #1 · answered by addiee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe "if it is a normal pregnancy and she is healthy then there really isn't much of a reason to go to the doctor" got deluged with thumbs-down. One, women have been doing this for a _long_ time without doctors; two, it's important to keep in mind that they're not miracle workers. "She knows better" could be: she's healthy, and just not into being pointlessly prodded. I'm not saying it's anything along the lines of a good idea to avoid doctors during pregnancy; it's just that it gets a little over-hyped here.
If somebody says, on Yahoo! Answers, that they're a month or two pregnant and have yet to see a doctor, they're heaped with scorn -- even though what magic people expect a doctor to work isn't clear. If somebody thinks they might be miscarrying, they get "OMG! Get off the computer and go to the ER now!!" even though there's nearly nothing to be done about it there in most cases.
I'm not unsympathetic towards your concerns, but it's important to keep things in perspective.
Have you considered offering to find and foot the bill for a midwife?
2006-12-26 23:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you didn't say how long you two were broken up for, is there any possibility at all it could be your baby? Either way its all up to you if you stick around or leave, you have to think of how this is going to affect your life and if its something you're prepared to deal with for the rest of your life! If you decided to be this child's father then you have to really stick to that, you cant decided its too hard and leave that will really mess the child up....Also you have to really take a look at your relationship is it worth it i mean really really worth it? It seems a little out there that your gf didn't know she was five months pregnant, is there any possibility that she came back because she found out and needed a father for the child? Just make sure you take a long hard look into the future and see where you really want to be! Good luck.
2016-05-23 09:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, point out to your ex-GF that medicaid is supposed to cover the ENTIRE pregnancy. (I believer three months back) If she has proof of when she became pregnant, which she needs to even APPLY for medicaid, they will cover every doctor's visit until 60 days after she has the baby. Second, you can't force her because, right now, you have no legal say over the baby. Unfortunately that is the hard truth. Until that baby is born, you have no say. Right now, that baby is considered part of her body and no one can force her to do anything. You might be able to convince her to see a doctor. She does need to see a doctor though to make sure her pregnancy is going like it should and there will be no complications at birth. Third, you need to be sure the baby is yours. I hate to say it but you need to be sure so when the baby is born you can have the rights of a legal father. Lastly, you are not overreacting. You are a concerned father. Unfortunately, this day and age, those seem to be hard to come by. I pray and hope everything turns out for you and you can convince her to see a doctor.
2006-12-26 18:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't know that you have a legal right to force her to go to the doctor but a call to family services might clear up any questions regarding that. You don't even need to tell them who you are or who she is just ask them the question and see what they say. You have nothing to lose by doing so. I don't know your circumstances but I'm sorry your going through this. Are you completely sure she's really even pregnant? It sounds like she might be feeding you a line. I can't think of a woman that is pregnant and wanting to keep her baby that wouldn't try to get medical care. There are many agencies that can help-including Planned Parenthood. (They don't just offer abortions they offer many services to help parents that do want to keep the baby)
2006-12-26 18:11:59 · answer #5 · answered by girl_interupted83 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If it is your child too, then surely you have some rights. You need to seek legal advice. Generally if the pregnancy is a healthy one then doctors visits would not really be important, however how would you know if she is not seeing a doctor. Providing she leads a healthy lifestyle, does not drink or smoke or do drugs, is not excessively large, or too skinny and does not suffer from or have any family history of high blood pressure, heart disease or diabetes then bub should be okay.
I do think for your own peace of mind, seek legal advice. Good luck.
2006-12-26 18:15:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow-what a situation.
I really commend you though for wanting to do this-a lot of guys would have just walked away.
Unfortunately, there is no one that you can go to to 'force' her to see a doctor.
if she isnt going to go for god knows the reason--she at least needs to take some prenatal vitamins for that baby-do you know if she's doing that? - the ones doctors prescribe are so much better-but you can get some decent ones at walmart or the pharmacy.
also-did you see the ultrasound with her? (were you in the room)
is it possible that she is lying to you about being pregnant?
& Im sorry but I have to disagree totally with you 'colleen o'-there is every reason to be seeing a doctor and keeping up with prenatal visits. no matter how many kids she has-each pregnancy is different! it is very important to see a doctor all throughout pregnancy
2006-12-26 18:12:34 · answer #7 · answered by Shellberry 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Call the local social services and talk to them. Not only is she putting the unborn at risk, she is also putting herself at risk. It seems like she doesn't care much for this child. Yes you do have rights as the father. Get a lawyer to protect your rights and if you don't want custody then go for visitation rights.
2006-12-26 18:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by anita s 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
OH MAN WELL I HOPE SHE GOES AND U GET HELP WITH THAT PROBLEM! if its no problem with the baby its not as crucial she goes to the doctor. maybe the ex is abusive n she cant go or talk to u! maybe shes so depressed she doesnt care 4 herself or child! maybe she resents the baby cuz its 4rm u! anyway i hope the babys healthy and u try and get custody! she seems unfit and immature!!! and u r definitely not overreacting u are a concerned father and seem to be a good one!
2006-12-26 18:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by SEXY CRML 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It could possibly be considered child endangerment, especially if she is smoking and drinking. But no, you can not force her to go, especially since you aren't married. Have you seen her in person? Are you sure she hasn't miscarried, had an abortion or anything?
By the way, not many men would actually care and it's nice to see one that does.
2006-12-26 18:10:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋