my cousin and his wife are always asking my daughter to keep her youngest girl for long weekends and never invite of ask for the oldest girl. They are 3 and 6 yrs. I am concerned over the impact this is having on the girls, and my daughter becomes defensive whenever I try to talk to her about it. I have spoken to them all about this situation and they all try to make me feel like I am wrong about how I think on it. They all say that favoritism is acceptable and everyone does it. I am very upset and annoyed about how selfish and cruel they all are and I don't know what else to say or do (if anything) I wish I could get custody of my grandgirls and put a stop to this. What impact do you think this will have on them?
2006-12-26 17:07:24 · 9 answers · asked by sissytwo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My only sibling - my sister - and I are not close to this day because of this same situation. I never noticed it or realized it as a child but I was always favored. I was always told how pretty I was. I was always the one getting attention. It's not something I ever thought about or even remembered until my sister (who is well in her 30's) brought it up not so very long ago. We have children who are very close in age who hardly know each other because we don't spend time together. This is not my choice but hers. I have tried to fix this problem but there is nothing I can do really because the "crimes" weren't committed by me. This behavior your family is displaying will indeed hurt these girls and may affect their relationship with each other for the rest of their lives. This is a hard situation for you because you aren't the one in control to fix it. I pray God give you the strength and wisdom to know what to do. God bless you!
2006-12-26 17:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right to be concerned about this, but I'm not sure that there's much you can do about it if your daughter chooses to let her go. My suggestion is that when your youngest granddaughter is out with your cousin, you take your oldest granddaughter out for a 'girls' day...take her somewhere where you can do the things that young girls love to do. Perhaps a trip to the store where you both try on all kinds of silly floppy hats, a tea parlour for a tea party for 2, a favourite animated movie at the cinema, etc. Or if a lack of funds is a problem, take her to the park, just the two of you, paint her nails, play games together. It isn't really important what you do as long as you do it together...and have fun. If you play it up to her, make it a big deal that she gets to come out with grandma for a special day when her sister's away, she'll be hoping to do it more often and she'll flourish from the extra attention.
2006-12-26 17:22:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sue B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everything balances out in the end. Actually, this gives the older daughter more time alone with HER Mother. Some people try to make sure 2 children are treated JUST the same & end up making both miserable! As long as you don't go around saying "Poor Sissy" so the older one starts feeling bad, this could work out fine!
2006-12-26 17:12:44 · answer #3 · answered by life coach 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do the girls fight when they're together? Does the cousin get along with the older girl? There are reasons that people don't want to take other peoples' children other than shear favoritism. If the girls are constantly fighting when they're with the cousin (and they may behave different with them then they do with Grandma, so don't get defensive) they may not want them both. Maybe the 6 year old rubs them the wrong way? Is she real "gimme gimme"? That drives me nutz!
2006-12-26 17:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope because I don't have any siblings, I am an only child! However, My mom is the middle of 3 sisters and I don't think my grandparents showed any favoritsim with them , at least as adults. They did with us grandkids though. 3 girls ( funny huh? they had 3 daughters and 3 granddaughters). I was the middle and their favorite and my cousins knew . I have to agree that your bf was treated unfairly.
2016-05-23 09:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a big impact. this might ruin her self esteem b/c the lack of attention. u should probly alert evryone that this is happening and u want 2 end it. they should be treated lik equals. if they dont want to cooperate tell them they should not take either of them anywhere if thats going to be the case. good luck. happy holidays. :)
2006-12-26 17:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by circus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try and confront them about it. Its not fair at all, and the other little girl probably wonders why she is not going!
2006-12-26 17:12:11 · answer #7 · answered by veronica c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The impact is simple.... it's NEGATIVE!
2006-12-26 17:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by gabster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Treat them equal or not at all, period.
2006-12-26 17:09:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋