If your spouse tells you they want to go to a bar alone would this pose a problem?

Question

Or would you think there's something wrong with the picture. I've had problems in the past with my spouse sneaking to strip clubs, and we finally got over that. I even use to want to go with him which he declined but now he's saying he wants to go to a bar alone, I feel he is looking for something

Answer 1

He's lookin'. My wife told me she wanted to go to see her family in NC (we lived in FL)... I said, sure, I'll take some time off and we'll go. She said she was actually going to meet up with some girlfriends from high school and have a girls weekend.... next thing I know I am seeing credit card transactions from Colorado! Needless to say, I never slept with her again especially after I found all of the emails to this guy from .... COLORADO! I loved her but she was unrepentant so I kicked her to the curb. Watch ur back!!!

Answer 2

Of course I'd tell her. Why wouldn't I? What I don't understand is why you would feel the need to "confront" your husband when you heard that he went to a bar. Is there some problem with a grown man going to a bar? If you regard this as a subject demanding a "confrontation", well, that might explain why he was not entirely forthcoming about it.

Answer 3

That would certainly put up my red flag signaling trouble. I would never want my husband to attend a bar without me. The best way to stay out of trouble is to avoid being in a place where temptation is lurking. If he is looking for trouble he's going about it all right. Tell him he is married, and once you are married the single bar scene is not acceptable. If he wants to act single maybe he should be. We treat people how to treat us...don't let him treat you like your feelings are not important. If you have a problem with what he is doing, then he should respect your wishes and not do it. It takes two yes's and one no in a good healthy marriage.

Answer 4

If he can't tell you why he wants to go alone or why you can't come along then you are probably right:: He may be doing something he's not supposed to be doing... OR he may just need to get away from the relationship scene for a while. Guys like to have fun too but it's when there is too much fun involved that could pose the problem

Good Luck

Answer 5

My hubby goes to bars alone or with friends on occasion. I don't mind at all. Men need down-time, too. Although, we don't have a history of sneaking into strip clubs... It sounds a bit extreme and manipulitive, but maybe have a girlfriend he doesn't know show up to the bar to keep an eye on him. Do NOT tell her to hit on him to test your relationship, that is just skeezy. Just have her watch him to see what he's doing.

Answer 6

Like I said in your last question, it's ok for a husband and wife to have their own nights out with their friends. Everybody needs a little "me" time once in a while. But given his history of not being totally upfront with you about the strip clubs and now wanting to go out alone, that would be a red flag to me.

Answer 7

So he wants to go to the bar without you? Is he going with friends or just to go alone? If it is with friends maybe he just needs that "guy" time alone. If it's going alone he wants then yes it would pose a problem with me as well and I would not accept it.

Answer 8

What you need to do is sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel about this situation..Let him know the doubts that come to mind..When we decide to marry it is generally out of love and not ever wanting to be alone..Sometimes a man and woman needs alittle time to do things with their friends ..Nothing is ever hidden and surely no secrets are kept..I have a husband who use to go to strip clubs for a while until i found out then I sat him down and told him how that made me feel..I gave him a choice..If he wanted a singles life then I would leave..We just celebrated our 16th anniversary...Just talk to him ok..Look into his eyes...When they can look straight at you then you know they are telling you the truth...I will keep you in my prayers and i pray God will help you through all this...God bless

Answer 9

There is only ONE reason for frequenting places such as strip club and bars. Your husband is looking for trouble in the form a young woman to play with. If the strip club was just for his viewing pleasure and you offered to go along with him I promise you he would have taken you. It seems he is establishing himself as single & available in that society and to bring you alone would dash his image and his hopes of hooking up with someone else. He has no respect for you and he's not worth your time. Kick him to the curb!

Answer 10

I am thinking there is allot of problems with this marriage that needs to be tended to--When one spouse wants to spend time alone now and again that's normal--but not all the times--do you have state gambling (slots in the bars) ?? If so do you not allow him to gamble? Is it possible that's an issue?