2006-12-26 16:50:23 · 21 answers · asked by B 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Marty K could I contact you?
2006-12-26 17:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly they do it for the same reason I continue to smoke cigarettes even though I know it could kill me. I know it's bad. I know it's hurting me. They know it too. So why don't I just quit? Why don't they just leave?!
It's hard to take that first step towards doing the right thing. It's hard because you are so used to things being as they are. You are paralyzed with inaction. You are stuck in a rut. You don't know whether going right or left is the better. So you stand still instead.
I want to quit smoking and lots of these women want out of their abusive relationships. The smoking cessation pills and other methods are out there and family and crisis centers for women are out there too. But where do I and they begin...How do we begin...
As I lie to myself and say it's ok, they lie to themselves and say the abuse is no big deal. "Everyone has their issues." As human beings we trick ourselves. We lie to ourselves. And we also blame ourselves. The guilt causes depression and the depression continues the inaction towards solving the problem.
The proper shove in the right direction sometimes does the trick. But most of the time, the individual involved has to be the one to say "That's it! No more." They have to be ready to take up that stance on their own. They have to find the will to do it inside of them. Sometimes they never find it and their inaction leads to their death.
Maybe I'll quit smoking for New Year's. Maybe some woman will leave her abusive husband and start the new year with a clean slate too...Then again maybe neither of us will find the will this time around either...Guess we'll have to see if we are ready.
2006-12-27 07:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by AH0030 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some good answers...and though not incorrect, they leave out an important part. Most of the time the reason for it lies in their childhood experiences. Women who are deluded at an early age that they aren't allowed to be weak (be a woman) put up with it because, deep down inside, they think they're supposed to put up with it. Sometimes, if they were mistreated as a child, they feel that they always deserve it...even when, in reality, they don't. There are other possible reasons, too...such as plain abuse in a family not necessarily directed at the child. Such a woman, when grown, would see the treatment as the family norm and actually feel uncomfortable in a family if somebody isn't abused. Sometimes such women won't even stay in a relationship unless they're abused! They've associated the abuse with love, and are very confused. Women in all the above examples (and others) need to see a psychotherapist often because they don't know (have buried in their minds) the true reason for allowing themselves to be abused. Only when they are brought to an understanding of why they do it can they deal with it.
Side note: Feminists feed on the abuse as a child in other women to turn them against men. Instead of getting to the root of the problem and dealing with it, they instead build apon it.
2006-12-27 07:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by fishman 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I can only tell you the reasons I stayed in a bad relationship. Some women are co dependent, as I was once, and another reasonwas because after he would hurt me he always treated me like he did when we first got together. To be honest, I also loved him so much that I was willing to saacrifice my happiness to be with him. Then also after getting so many beatings it really becomes just part of the routine. I hid my abuse because I didnt want people to think I was weak, and i didnt want my family and friends to dis like him because I thought I couldnt live without him....
2006-12-27 01:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by lilbitome1015 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear. Alot of times, things with the police don't always work. Wonmen report their abusers, the police do nothing, and then they come after the women with a temper worse than before. The men may even go as far as trying to kill them! It isn't easy.
2006-12-27 18:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by Just Dance 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a common practice in patriarchal societies. Women feel ashamed,shy and scared, for it is a common custom to treat the occurence as the woman's fault and there remains chances of further abuse. The society also harrasses by gossips of some sorts and the time lag related with the legal actions makes it hardforthe concerned person to wait and live properly.
2006-12-27 01:35:29 · answer #6 · answered by hymy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because we are stupid...hee hee. There are different reason's for every woman out there. Some woman make excuses for the man, others think that he made a mistake, and he will never do it again. Some woman just overlook it becuase he has been a good man over all and don't want to start all over again becuase they are scared, to be single again. They sometimes think the man will come after them if they break it off....blah, blah, blah.
2006-12-27 02:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by Rupi G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Becaue most of the legal systems are more likely to put the women in a more ordeal than in trying to deal with the "culprit"!
2006-12-27 02:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by Ebby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For such women, they pick the most violent man of the crop and try to arrange things such that he will kill everyone but her, and at her command. It's a delusion.
On the other hand, what about the spectre of false accusations? I know more than 1 man who has had false accusations used against him in divorce court, and the judges believed the woman even when there was no proof of abuse.
2006-12-27 01:41:55 · answer #9 · answered by laboratory.mike 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Mostly because they are scared of what might happen to their loved ones. They think of the results of the decisions before taking a huge jump... or as they say..
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.
Have a wonderful new year ahead!
2006-12-27 00:54:20 · answer #10 · answered by just_curious 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
b/c unless authorities can put the man into prison, he'll be back and abuse her more for reporting him.
Or they might be afraid to loose the man, and be alone again.
Or they think that man has some good qualities that outweigh the abuse.
2006-12-27 00:52:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋