My conversation skills need improvement. What tips can I use to become a better conversationalist?

Question

I would like to be able to start a conversation with strangers, keep a conversation going without becoming speechless, have interesting topics to talk about, approaching a stranger and striking up a conversation, become a person others love to conversate with, and conversating with confidence that others feel compelled to listen.

Answer 1

First the nevers:
Never talk about politics, religion, or your kids.

Be better at listening than talking.
If you just learn how to really listen and maybe throw in a basic skill like reflective listening most people will love to talk to you.
Always remember something personal about everyone you meet. "Hello, how have you been?" is a weak opener, but at least it is focused on them. "Hello Joe, how have you been" is better because you used their name. "Hello Joe, How did your daughter do in softball this year?" is GREAT! This sentence shows you know who he is, you know his daughter, and you remember her interests. As far as strangers go, just be friendly and try to get them to talk about themselves. If it is a man get him to talk about his work or hobby. If it is a woman get her to talk about her family. Good luck. By the way, how are you? You look great. Have you lost a little weight?

Answer 2

That's true. No matter how self-less we all like to think we are, we all secretly love talking about ourselves: our lives, problems, kids/family, plans/wishes etc.
You could also talk about strange or interesting things that not many people would notice. I take orders at a takeaway so I'm used to speaking to strangers. Most often than not, the customer would strike up a conversation, and we'd talk about things ranging from school, the odd weather patterns of this year (we live in Auckland lol), to things like maybe future plans etc, depending on the gender and age of the stranger.
Just be yourself but still be a bit reserved- you don't want to get too carried away in a conversation and start talking about your past loves or what have you...

Answer 3

Well, you know what they say, practice makes perfect! Try extending your conversations with people who kind of HAVE to talk to you. At the bank or the supermarket, try asking a question or two that you wouldn't normally ask. Get used to talking to strangers. You can ask if its boring now that the X-mas rush is over or something. People are often happiest when they are doing the talking, so ask lots of questions. If someone is wearing a band T-shirt, ask what they think of the current album or if they recently went to the concert. People love expressing their opinions, and these types of questions often lead to further conversation.

Also, practice pausing. Sometimes we say certain things because we want to fill the silence. Also throw out some compliments, sincere ones. Lastly, try not to take rejection to personally. Maybe the person doesn't like talking to other people because THEY are shy and unsure of their communication skills. Or maybe they had a crappy day. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Smile and say hi to people. That's an excellent opener.

Compliment a person on something they are wearing, the perfume/ cologne they have on, their makeup or hair, etc.

Keep good eye contact and pay attention to what the person is saying to you. Be attentive. Don't be distracted by another person or your cell phone, etc.

Here's one of my secrets that really work- If you run out of or get stuck on what to say next, just repeat back the last few words (like maybe 3 or so) of what the person just said. The person will continue on their story.

In general, people like to talk about what they know about (hobby, facts, etc.), simple things (like the weather or the person's plans for the day) and their self. Start by asking simple easy polite questions about them! You, on the other hand, should not start talking about your self. That will bore the other person immediately.

Keep abreast of what is going on in the world. Watch the news, Read literature & web sites and you will have different subjects to talk about.

Don't get mixed up in Gossip.

And remember the best arguement is NO arguement.

Answer 5

My suggestion would be to be update about current events. Read the newspaper or online news. So that you always have something to talk about with someone as a reference. Also when meeting people, listen to their stories and ask open ended questions. When they say that they just got back from a vacation, ask them about their trip, what was their favorite part, etc... Basically just expand upon the given information. People love to talk about themselves so just make sure you make the person whom you're talking to feel special and be attentive to the story.

Answer 6

Ask them open ended qustions that won't be responded to with "fine" or "okay" etc. "So what do you do for a living?" is a GREAT way to get a view into somebody's life. Then you can ask questions from there from the new information you learn.

Answer 7

Join you local Toasmaters International.

Search on Yahoo - Toastmasters International.

It will be the best personal and professional decision you make.

Answer 8

Most people like to talk about themselves...here are some questions to keep things going...could you tell me more about that? Can you elaborate? the 5 w`s of course... what is the significance...etc...or paraphrase or restate their question in the form of a question...this gives you time to think...and usually they restate their thing a different way.

Answer 9

firstly listen more.
ask questions about what you are being told. if you know the persons interests, read a little on the main points. ask questions about the points you dont.
it will grow from there.

Answer 10

Listen closely to what the other person says; a conversation, contrary to common belief, doesn't mean one person blathering away.If you listen, people will think you are the ****.