I've been w/ my bf since I was 16, I'm 21 now and I love him to death, but sometimes I find myself thinking about other guys or actually cheating on him. The 2nd year of our relationship he did cheat on me, it was a one night thing and I forgave him. I'm not saying that gives me grounds or anything, but I'm just really freaking out. Is what I'm thinking really bad or is it normal. He's out of town working during the weekdays, I'm usually home by myself and when he's off he's usually with his friends while I'm still stuck at our house waiting for him. We share a house w/ his sister and her family so I feel even weirder when I start thinking like this. I know he loves me, he takes care of me, pays most of our bills and my tuition, he tries to be home when he can. What's wrong w/ me?!
2006-12-26 16:21:33 · 15 answers · asked by Danielle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like you need attention from your boyfriend more than anything. Try talking to him about spending more time together and maybe finding activities that can involve both you and his friends. Both he and you were a lot younger when he cheated on you. I'm sure things have changed since then and if he is putting out all that money to put you through school then he must love and care about you.
I think most people, whether they admit it or not, will find themselves thinking about someone else. Sometimes it's just the thought of something new or something without the problems you have in your life or whatever. The thing is though that if you love the person you're with, nothing will ever replace that. Whatever person you're thinking about has their own baggage, wear dirty underwear, morning breath, and leave socks and crap all over the floor. Don't fall into the grass is greener on the other side trap. Don't beat yourself because you're only human and having a wandering eye doesn't equal cheating.
2006-12-26 16:48:18 · answer #1 · answered by Johnny Z 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it is really okay, but most women that I have spoken to have had the same thoughts too, including me. I have been married for over 11 years and I have thought about it. Have I done it or do I think that I would act on it, NO! But I do think that there are a lot of people that have thoughts like this.
I think that when you are with a person for so long, you want to see what else is out there. I know that when I spend more time with my husband, those thoughts are out the window because I am spending more time with him. When he is not around so much, I find myself thinking about it more often.
If you really love him, then your thoughts will simply be Just Thoughts and that's it. Good Luck!!
2006-12-26 16:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As someone your age, I can tell you what I've observed. Couples are one of three things at our age:
1. short term/ hook ups/ etc
2. long term
3. marriage
The problem is, when you meet someone so young, a lot of times you're with them for so long you forget why you are with them. If you're always home, he takes care of you, your close to his family, its hard to imagine what you would do without him. If you're imagining cheating on him, giving it serious thought with real people, then perhaps he's not filling all of your needs. He may be your best friend but he may not be the one. Its hard to break something off when you've been together for so long. But if he's not making you happy, then maybe he's not the one.
No matter what, cheating is wrong. Its never ok. Thinking about it on a lark is one thing, but having serious thoughts can be wrong too. Its a sign that perhaps you're not in the right place for you.
2006-12-26 16:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by drutheta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tbh that is not okay to cheat there is not any excuse.. in case you like your spouse yet they can't provide you intercourse because of the fact of a few scientific difficulty, that is nonetheless no longer okay to cheat basically for the intercourse. In all circumstances.. you the two unload and flow on..or you carry on with your spouse and cope with it.. in any different case your basically a foul individual. i could never forgive somebody for cheating. in case you cheat on your spouse you could't love them, because of the fact in case you incredibly enjoyed them you won't betray thier have confidence and injury them and be so egocentric and misinform them approximately it. in case your in a loveless marriage then seperate and flow on you do no longer could do it in the back of your companions returned. long distance relationship properly you knew what you have been in for.. in case you could no longer dedicate then you certainly should not be in that relationship fullstop. additionally drinkingg isn't any excuse for cheating because of the fact in case you get inebriated with human beings and you be attentive to whilst your inebriated you're able to be able to get with those human beings you shouldn't do it in the fiest place. you could no longer blame the drink.
2016-10-28 10:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u must really like him for cheating cos i would not take him back if my life depened on it cos the way i see it once a cheater always a cheater and it is natural to look at guys and thing about cheating u cant help ur self and i dont know how you could live with urs or his famiy!
2006-12-26 16:27:57 · answer #5 · answered by mgrii1 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's normal. He's already cheated at least once. You may need a fling or two to get it out of your system.
2006-12-26 17:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by so 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT NOT OK, IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT CHEATING, THERE
A PROBLEM BOILING, SO TIME TO FIQURE OUT WHAT GOING ON. IT SOUND LIKE YOU AND HE NEED TO START
SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER ALSO YOU ARE ALONE
A LOT THAT NOT GOOD EITHER, ALSO TIME TO MEET OTHER PEOPLE TO HAVE COMPANY WITH, ALSO MAY
TIME TO GET A ON YOUR OWN AS WELL. TIME TO REALLY
SIT DOWN AND TALK TO HIM, OTHER WISE THE THINKING
ABOUT IT WILL BE COME MORE THEN THAT.
2006-12-26 16:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a woman decides that cheating is a desirable option, the relationship is usually over. Time to move on!
2006-12-26 16:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You may think of anything you want to, even of killing someone. The important thing is whether you follow up on it or not.
2006-12-26 16:26:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thinking about it ..will lead to cheating ..eventually. When you feel these feelings come up then throw them out of your mind, don't allow yourself to linger on them.
Be very careful. I wouldn't marry this guy if these thoughts persist.
2006-12-26 16:25:54 · answer #10 · answered by jabbergirl 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋