My sister has always had a perception of our parents being very strict and traditional, even though I think they are very open to and supportive of what we do and want. She is dating someone now, and thinks that she is some martyr-rebel since she believes my parents would disapprove of dating someone from a different background. I know that they do not object to this, but rather to the rude attitude she has to them (not telling them where she is going, when she is coming home, out right lying to them, extreme sense of entitlement to things that they are paying for (like a second cell phone so that she can talk to her friends (ie her boyfriend) for free, and constant and condescending yelling). To me, it seems like my sister is acting out some delayed-rebel phase, but this is really hurting my parents, and they don't know how to handle her since she is an adult now (even though completely financially dependent on them). Any suggestions for me on how to cope with/change this situation?
2006-12-26 16:19:38 · 7 answers · asked by annoyed sister 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would not pull any punches with your sister but sit her down and tell her how her actions are effecting her parents. My sister was allowed to treat my parents in the manner you have described and anything that would set her off in one of her moods was avoided at all costs. She has grown into a 47 year old woman who believes she can do no wrong and who treated my parents terribly right up to and including her shocking behaviour when my father died. I now do not have anything to do with her and neither does my mother. So if you want to pull your sister back into line and into the real world I suggest you do it before her behaviour becomes so much like second nature that she will never change. Your parents should not have to put up with being treated badly if they are trying to do the right thing by her and she needs to see that.
Good luck and remember to try and have very strong broad shoulders as you will need them
2006-12-26 16:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight out and don't sugar coat anything! They are your parents too and you have every right to tell her what your feelings are about it.
I have a brother that is the same way and I don't hold back on him at all. My parents support him 100% on everything. He got a DUI at 21 and my parents bailed him out of that. He still continues to be rude to my mother mostly. He says things such as, "You're an old woman and you don't know what you are talking about, shut up, get out of my face, leave me the hell alone, and don't you have something better to do than be in my business" He makes over $3,000 take home a month and doesn't pay them anything for living in their home. So I know exactly what you are talking about.
I live over 2500 miles away from them, but every time I go home I have to set him straight. You have to be blunt and tell her that she is hurting your parents. But you also have to be willing to accept anything that she might do in return to you. Like Maybe not talking to you....things like that.
I wish many lucks with your situation!!
2006-12-26 16:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First your sister needs to pay her own bills, mom and dad need to stop paying them, she will then and only start to act like a adult instead of a spoiled brat. Sounds to me like she has a bf that is a bad influence on her, maybe making her worst regarding your parents. I think the bf needs to support her financially, see how long that last. Tell the parents to put their foot up her butt and kick her out, stop talking to her, stop financially supporting her, bet she comes around to their way of thinking real quick, as it stands they are supporting her disrespect for them.
2006-12-26 20:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to seriously get her some help, Back in the day my parents would let me have it, why don't your parents come out and deal with her rude behavior she needs to be put in her place and talking would not help, send her to BOOTCAMP!!
Don't take any crap from her if you leave it and it take to long to handle it she will get worse, and you might have to get her out of some serious trouble which might cost you in the long run.
Good Luck!!
Happy New Year!!
2006-12-26 16:27:45 · answer #4 · answered by Brie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They could eaily kick her out but they choose to put up with it.
2006-12-26 16:25:00 · answer #5 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let your feelings be known to both parties,then relax,you have done your part.
2006-12-26 16:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by siaosi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her she's being an azz
2006-12-26 16:20:48 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋