I had an abortion 5 years back and I am planning to get married soon.I don't want to let my husband know about my abortion even after my marriage.
Is it possible for him to identify whether I had an abortion or not?
Or if he doubt can he caught me by doing any kind of medical test or so ?
Please don't judge me on this question, I have reasons to hide it.
2006-12-26 16:12:33 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
No, it's not. First of all, if you had a first trimester abortion done by a reputable physician, there will be no way for anyone to tell. A doctor can tell if you have delivered a baby before since the shape of the cervix opening will be different. However, if your only pregnancy ended in an early abortion with no complications - no.
Second of all, you don't have to tell your OB/GYN about your past pregnancy or abortion IF you don't want to. If you don't want to, list this as your first pregnancy.
Third of all, if you list it on your medical records you can stress it is confidential. We do this all the time - mothers hide the fact that they have herpes, that they are taking valtrex, that they had abortions, that they gave birth to a baby and gave it up for adoption, that they have a boyfriend and the baby doesn't belong to the husband - believe me I've seen all this and more. HIPAA laws are very detailed and specific. All you have to do is mention the words "confidential" "privacy" and "HIPAA" to the medical staff and your privacy is assured.
However - why not tell your husband? If he would be that angry, has different values and/or wouldn't understand maybe you married the wrong guy. I can't imagine keeping something like that from my husband, I tell him everything.
2006-12-26 16:28:09 · answer #1 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Q | Will a Doctor be able to tell I had an abortion?
It is unlikely that a doctor can tell you had an abortion after your cervix has healed, at about 3 weeks after your procedure. However, a pregnancy and abortion procedure is an important part of your medical history, and we encourage honesty with your doctor. We also understand the fear and concern of being "judged" or treated badly by medical personnel. Most OB/ GYNs are supportive of all reproduction choices, including abortion. However; there are some anti-choice doctors. Ask us and we can recommend some good supportive gynecologists.
If a doctor can't tell so you think your husband will? The only way he will know is if you tell him or someone else that knows about it.
http://www.abortion.com
2006-12-26 18:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you tell him dear!! Unless, If you go to Dr. because you guys have a baby together you have to tell your Dr.. I don't think it's a good idea to hide something like that from someone your going to marry. Because the abortion could of sterilized you and you might not know yet!! Then your husband will be in question of why you can't conceive.
So, either way you will have to tell the Dr. and you can't keep your husband away from medical records after your married.. Especially, if he carries the provider for medical insurance. He has all Access to them. My husband gets all of our medical records cause he carries the insurance.
So, all I can say is good luck!! Always be truthful in a marriage!! No need to start it out on secrets. I'm sure you have a good reason and I'm sure he'll love you enough to understand. Just tell him cause you DON'T want him finding out on his own. Otherwise he'll NEVER trust you again..
Good Luck!!
2006-12-26 16:19:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the doctor proved that you can't have kids because of the abortion, then it would be fair to tell your husband. If you are able to get pregnant easily, then leave the abortion in the past. Just like no husband wants to hear about what you and your ex boyfriend did this in bed or anything about your past lovers, leave those in the past and leave abortion in the past too.
You didn't cheat on your husband with any man, so you shouldn't feel guilty in keeping the abortion a secret.
2006-12-26 16:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by Pedro Xavier Ramirez 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends. Who knows about it? Who have they talked to? Does your bf know any of these ppl? If so, yes, he might find out, and he'll likely be angrier at being tricked than he would have been if given the truth up front. Is this really the kind of relationship you want? Do you realize you're cheating yourself of the possibility for a truly deep relationship? If you can't trust him, why marry him? Think long and hard about this before you make a permanent mistake. This is not a judgement, but it is good advice based on experience.
2006-12-26 16:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
the only time he will find out is if you tell him.
be prpared when you have children though as the doctors will need to know that yoyu have had this procedure. it will of course be on you medical records and you can ask that this info be omittied.
if you can at all tell him i would, if (god forbid) you had problems concieving, infertility issues etc it will eventually come out. i know there are some horrific circumstances that involve becoming preg. but as u r getting married he should support you and not judge you.
unless of course you were with him at the time and it wasnt his?(sry just speculating)
2006-12-26 16:27:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he cannot find about your abortion from anything physical. And there isn't a way to test you to see if you've had one. If any doctor has that information he is obligated to you to keep your information private. No one will know unless you choose to tell them. It is your secret to keep.
You obviously have pain and some fear regarding this and maybe it would be a good idea to talk to someone confidentially to ease your mind.
2006-12-26 16:25:19 · answer #7 · answered by Isabel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can't tell there is no test, but it may come up if you do genetic counseling. I recommend not telling the doc who does the (possible) amnio about the abortion. It will not affect your pregnancy unless the abortion doc damaged you in some way. Explain to your ob that you do not want your hus to know. Legally, he can't let him know.
2006-12-26 16:17:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, dear dont worry,every one in their life makes some or the other mistake... dont worry, start your new life... yes he can find out if you had done a abortion before if he takes you to the doctor, as the uterus changes once you conceive than of a virgin, anyways but why are you worrying for the things which might never take place... see that you try to conceive soon after your marriage as if you have a baby, may be the chance of him knowing will be less...
2006-12-26 16:19:23 · answer #9 · answered by Richa 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your medical information is strictly protected so that you and only you can access it. Theh only way he could find out is if you gave him permission to see your records or if you told him yourself. There is no public access place where everyone's records are kept. Even if he did want to find something like that out about you, the only place that would have those records would be the facility that performed the procedure and that's probably not one of his usual hangouts. Don't worry, you're safe.
2006-12-26 16:18:10 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny Z 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋