My husband is nasty to my daughter..example,if she has a nightmare and crawls into bed with us,he loses his mind. He doesnt ever want her to go anywhere with us and he always has a smart a** remark to say to her.. This is destroying our marriage,any advice?
2006-12-26 16:08:32 · 32 answers · asked by Coo Bird 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is 9 and he has been in her life for 4 years...i guess he has always been like this..love is blind..what a dumb *** i am
2006-12-26 16:15:10 · update #1
he is her step-father
2006-12-26 16:16:18 · update #2
you need to put your daughter first, and make you husband straighten up or you need to leave. your daughter is to young for that, it could effect the way she lets men treat her when she is older and starting to date. she needs a good father figure in her life, not one that verbally abuses her.
2006-12-26 16:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's sometimes hard for someone to accept a child that is not theirs. Unfortunately, the child can often be a sore reminder of what you had with someone else. Does he want or have children of his own? Have you ever sat down with your husband and discussed this issue with him? By no means am I saying that what he is doing is OK, because it's not. But you need to find out what exactly is bothering him and then think about which is more important, your daughter or your husband.
2006-12-26 16:20:50 · answer #2 · answered by Summer Breeze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to save your marriage you need him to go to a counselor NOW. This is not normal and you need to think about the safety of your entire family, emotionally & physically.
It sounds to me that you are done with him though. If you are get out now. Your daughter will rezent you for the rest of her life if you don't do anything about this. She is only a child and in no way deserves this.
It particularlly worries me because he has known her for 5 years. What human being couldn't fall in love with a child especially his own step-daughter in that amount of time?
Act now before it is too late.
2006-12-26 16:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by *Amber* 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this his daughter or his step daughter, but either way, he needs help. a child seeks comfort from their parents and he needs to be a father!!!!! He has no idea how much harm he is creating not only for the child by for you. Talk to him, maybe there is some deep rooted problems.
2006-12-26 16:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your relationship with your husband , there should have been some rules and guidelines , concerning your daughter , it seems to me before you got married there had to be some signs of what this relationship was going to be like. Your right when were in love we miss alot of signs. You should speak with your husband and explain that your not happy with the situation concerning the treatment of your child , and that you guys need to seek counseling together. If he can't treat your child with respect or love what picture does that paint for you? He can't love you and not love your child , because she is an extension of you , do you see that ? if push comes to shove , he loses, your daughter needs to always come first.
2006-12-26 16:27:59 · answer #5 · answered by Priscilla B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he has been treating her like that for 4 years and you accept it? you even marry the guy? i feel genuine sorrow for the little girl, real sorrow to even imagine what her life must be like where her mother would bring such a mean man into her life and even marry him
as a parent your first priority is your child, no matter what, if a man can't accept your kid than they don't accept you either, didn't you hear about that anywhere?
if i get even a hint of trouble between my daughter and a girl i date then i call it off right away.
you made a booboo big time, time for you to fix it, leave the guy imediately, no questions asked, leave him and try to repair whatever damage has been done to your child, you do not want to see what the future holds for her if you happen to stay, the picture of that future is horrific at best
leave
leave now
2006-12-26 16:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by zether 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
counseling is a very good idea for you both. as a couple and as individuals. Your husband (i'm assuming he must be the childs step father) probably feels neglected by you. He is probably jealous of the attention she receives. As a step parent I can tell you that it is difficult to deal with the "inconveniences" of children that are not yours. As a parent I can tell you that I would never put up with someone treating my child like that. As a therapist I would say that you need to reassess your values as a parent and as a wife. You need to take the initiative and say to him, "my child does not deserve to be treated like this" or "disrespecting my child is disrespecting me" PLEASE understand the kind of irreparable psychological damage this is doing to your child. You child may be having nightmares because of his treatment of her. FYI, at least where I live, allowing your child to be psychologically and emotionally abused (which is what is going on, despite what you may think) is acting as an accessory to the abuse. You can lose your child, I would know, I also provide supervision services to families who have been accused of child abuse. Please consider this and take action immediately.
2006-12-26 16:18:05 · answer #7 · answered by melissa m 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you brought this to him? (Try not to be confrontational, cause he sounds like a jerk).
I'm betting he's the same way with you, right?
He needs conseling. If he won't get it, then you and your daughter need to be safe.
However - for those suggesting that "your daughter comes first, leave him" - not so fast... you have a committment to your marriage and husband as well. If he is abusing the child, you need to remove yourself and the child from the home immediatley. But, remember, you married him - for better or worse - so you have an obligation to help him get better and learn some respect for you and your kid.
Too many people are so quick to say "leave him". I think that's really sad.
2006-12-26 16:11:45 · answer #8 · answered by fredtubbs 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He is a small minded insecure selfish person, not a real man..
Sorry...
Thats the best I can say for an adult male that behaves that
way towards a child in this situation & circumstance.
You only have two choices, put up with it/him and hope it gets
better, or divorce him...
2006-12-27 10:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like really bad news. He could do her a lot of irreparable damage if this goes on. You need to get this man to a mental health professional quickly. It's extraordinary for a man to treat his own child this way, and you need some successful intervention, fast. If he will not change, I'd say you need out of the marriage, because someone this hostile will eventually turn on you. Best of luck.
2006-12-26 16:16:21 · answer #10 · answered by silver.graph 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋