I'm in love with my best friend and it's ruining my life! What should I do?

Question

My best friend Amber knows how I feel about her, but she will not go out with me. I have known her for about 4 years now, and I want to be with her so bad, I have been hurting myself by punching walls and stuff. She used to tell people that I was waiting to go out with her, but then she skipped over straight to telling them that I was her best friend or her brother. I don't know how much more I can handle. I have basically waited for 4 years to be with her, but she says that we're too close. I think if we're so close, that's just a better reason for us to go out. We have so much in common. She keeps saying there's other girls out there, but the problem is, I don't want any other girl. I would do anything to be with my best friend Amber, I don't care if I only get to be with her for 2 seconds. I have been thinking about this stuff for about 5 months now, and I will admit I am jealous because she has a boyfriend. Can someone tell me how to get her to go out with me or something

Answer 1

You should go out to the nearest lake or river and go for a loooooong swim. You need deep psychological counseling and nothing else will help you!

Answer 2

The 'or something' is the best and only option!
I am in love with my best friend and have been for many years but we just don't work as a boyfriend girlfriend thing.
For whatever reason Amber does not feel like you two would work as a boyfriend girlfriend thing so you need to learn to live with it. It's obvious that you really do love her and I can sympathise with you being jealous about her boyfriend but you need to come to grips with the fact that you do have a special friendship with her that not nany people are able to master; the Platonic friendship between a guy and a girl.
It will be a battle for you for your entire life but will grow easier as you grow older. You will both be there for each other as and when you need each other and you have to learn to live with her having boyfriends (even the one's that seem like absolute jerks!) as long as she seems to be reasonably happy with them.
From time to time you will have girlfriends or even get married.
Always let them know very early on that your best friend is a girl and that you don't hop into bed with her!
It is difficult especially if you not only love her but lust her too!(you want to kiss her, and hold her etc.) You have to control this side of things because it can kill this sort of friendship.
The best thing is to make sure that you remind her every couple of months how much she means to you and that you are happy as long as she's happy. With time you will find that this is true and that when she meets a nice guy and dates him, you'll automatically find you think he's a nice bloke just because she likes him.
Stop punching walls and take up very physical exercise like surfing, white water rafting or Lifesaving, something that will take all your energy in a very short time, over and over again.
You'll probably meet someone else doing this and, while they will never replace Amber's place in your heart, they can create their own place in your heart and mind and this will make it easy to just be friends with Amber.

Answer 3

I went through this with a guy. I WASTED over 5 years of my life WAITING on HIM. I was very depressed HATED my self for not being good enough. I finally learned that I was worth it and moved ON!!!! Its hard to do I know. Especially if you are close to this person and have many things in common. I think that it is best that you slowly just start being away from her and end the friendship.. It is only bringing you a lot of pain and hurt. She does not want you and only wants a friendship. Open yourself to other people who do want you. I was blind to other guys and missed opportunities to date and now regret it!

Answer 4

maybe that's why she doesn't want to be with you coz she's thinking you might hurt her someday when you get jealous. hey men do the math when a girl tell you that she don't want to be with you then move on and find someone else, maybe she only feel about you is just only firend no more than that. ok

Answer 5

Honestly kid, your making yourself too available. No matter how much you have to offer this girl, she wont give a flying f*uck unless you make it a challenge to get. GIRLS LIKE THE CHACE. By nature we all want what we cant have, and since she can have you, she doesnt want you. If you really want to be with this girl, you've got to give her space and MOVE THE F*UCK ON... or at least make her think you have.

Its been four years bud, let her know you arent going to wait around any more. In fact, let her know you've moved on to some one else... it'll drive her crazy.

Answer 6

okay well i can answer this question from experience. look you and your best friend have this special connection that only you and her share right now. you guys may do things that everyone else may look at you wierd for and only you and her understand. i went through the same thing with my best friend. i mean we are soo strong. we have been together since the third grade and we are in the tenth grade right now. so we have been best friends for eight years. wait hold on yea i think like eight years. and when he found out that i had liked him he got really mad at me. he yelled at me and told me that he would never like me like that and that there would never be anything between us and believe me that tore me completley in half. it broke me down in pieces. but we made up. you see we are so strong that only the smallest things and the biggest things can tear us apart for only like two minutes and then we start laughing like it never happened. and believe me i still like him. but im not telling him. i know how you feel. at this very moment i wish i can be with him right now but there is one thing keeping us apart. acually two things and yes it hurts and yea it makes me upset but if you really love your best friend you have to respect her wishes and commands. dont force her to go out with her because then she isnt gonna talk to you. she's gonna get uncomfortable and then soon your gonna become emotionally unstable. your gonna start acting upon your feelings and end up scaring the people around you and yourself. trust ive been there before as well. sorry for the long answer but just wanted to help. just keep control of your feelings. im not gonna tell you to find someone else because i know you love her. what kind of person would i b to tell you to find someone else when your craving is only focused on one person? i think you should write poems about her and keep them in a box that only you can look at it. be as loving and caring as you want to like a boyfriend when you can behind her back and such but when your with her to her face then be calm and cool. you dont want any confrontation between you and her or worse between u and her boyfriend. just keep being her best friend in the best way that you can. you never know. one day you might have a chance. your really lucky. you could have a chance with her. me, on the other hand, i dont have at least 1 percent of a chance with my best friend. so it hurts me as much now as it did last year. so i want you to keep loving her but BE CAREFUL. PLEASE BE CAREFUL. DONT PUT YOURSELF INTO A SITUATION WHERE YOUR GONNA HURT YOURSELF OR HER. be mindful of your feelings for her. please. good luck.

Answer 7

*shouts to cousin* hey, Amber remenber that guy that said he luvs you? he's tellin everyone in Y! Answers about his undyng luv 4 u!

Answer 8

well son, you know she is probably saying this because her relationship with her boyf is great. she understands you and she wants you to understand her. you shouldn't hurt yourself for her. if she is that close to your heart, don't let it get to you, you should want her to be happy.