Obviously I am a woman trying to find out how men think. I DO NOT want to pressure my guy or force him to marry me. How long would that last!!! We have been together a little over 4 years and I know he loves me. If a guy says he wants to spend the rest of his life with you doesn't that mean marriage? He says that it has nothing to do with me, he just isn't ready. I asked him what he was waiting for, he said " A feeling inside." MEN, please help me!! Advice, comments, insight.
2006-12-26 15:02:56 · 29 answers · asked by All This and Brains Too! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men are weird!! My husband and I got married but to be honest although he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me I don't think he was ready for the drudgery that married life can be. I can see that he wishes for his single life again and sees marriage as the end of his youth (which he is desperately trying to hold on to!!). This has made my life much harder too as I have a partner that is not committed to marriage although he still maintains that I am the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with - I guess what I'm trying to say is let him take his time coz when he is ready it will mean you both have the best circumstances for a successful marriage.
2006-12-26 15:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by misscynic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I feel the same way. I hear those words from my boyfriend yet there's no ring on my finger yet. I don't want to be married while i'm in college and I have a year left so that could be why. I think you should really sit him down and ask him why he doesn't want to get engaged now. A therapist or another third party (that has an unbiased opinion) might be able to help with getting the real reason out. Sometimes it sucks to have to wait for something you could have now...but the wait might be well worth it. Just have a serious discussion with him about it and make sure you tell him exactly how you feel. If it's meant to be it'll happen.
2006-12-26 15:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your b/f is being accidentally correct. It is a little known fact that we men also have biological clocks. He is waiting for the alarm clock to go off. He hasn't heard the beeper yet. Often may it not happen until just after turning 30. Or maybe later. Maybe sooner. How old are y'all?
He did say he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. That sounds like a pretty heavy commitment statement from a guy....
Why do you need the paper of marriage? Are you living together?
If you are why would he need to marry you? all the benefits, none of the responsiblity. Trying moving out! woah, don't listen to me...that would be pretty drastic, and won't work. either.
2006-12-26 15:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by Steve W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I don't know how to answer your question, so I answer based on your personal description of the details. First of all it's kind of stupid but reverse the guy role. What would happen if you asked him to marry you with out previously talking about. What do you think would happen? He would probably say no and slowly but surely end the relationship. So I guess If there is something in the relationship is wrong then figure out what it is and decide if it's worth fixing. Trust me if your smart and good looking you shouldn't have any problem.
2006-12-26 15:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by lookaround 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should ask yourself, "Why do I need to get married?"
Is it the ring? The commitment? The security? Family? What is it so deep down inside of you that makes you NEED to get married.
Once you figure this out, you will understand your needs, and will better understand whether your boyfriend can fill those needs or not.
Aside from that, coming from a guy, commitment is a BIG deal (otherwise, we as men would not be so afraid of it). That sort of commitment is something to be earned, not forced. Stick it out if it feels right to you.
2006-12-26 15:11:25 · answer #5 · answered by whattheflp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that 4 yrs is a really long time dating someone but it will happen! Are you at least engaged? If not then talk to him about that and then you can talk to him about marriage.
I married my wife after 2yrs and she and her daughter are my new family. Just give the guy some time. I was in a relationship for 7yrs with a girl and i said that i would never get married and then 4yrs later i did i got married!
2006-12-26 15:08:09 · answer #6 · answered by nickole30 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Legs and brains too? no way.. j/k :)
I'd give him time IF (and IF you can wait), it took me almost five years to make preparations to buy the rock, not to say I bought it due to complications on her end.....but anyways, at the time I needed to have the money to buy it (living isn't free or cheap), I needed to be ready to say "Ok, I'm going to do this. This is who I want my life with." I would say good job not pressuring him though. Nothing ruins a surprise more than someone saying "Did you get the ring yet, did you get the ring yet, did you get the ring yet???"
2006-12-26 18:17:52 · answer #7 · answered by Che G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
insanity makes a guy want to get married
2006-12-26 15:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys have to be at the right time and he will propose to you if he thinks you're right for him and he can trust you and believes you have the same wants and beliefs as he does.
2006-12-26 15:13:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy wants to marry you, you probably don't want to marry him. It's the guys who don't want to marry that women pressure to get married and then most men buckle under the pressure. Most guys get married because they want to do the right thing.
2006-12-26 15:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋