My husband of four months and I are running into some difficult times together. We started living together when we were engaged last year (August 2005). We started out fine financially and emotionally - just normal moving in together woes. As the year went on, things got horrible with his family and his daughter's situation (If you read my prior posts, you'll understand), but bottom line we had to fight a lot this year and it put us in debt with having to go to court, lawyers, his parents backing out of our wedding and us having to make up the difference etc... So it left us after our wedding in September with a whole lot of debt. We are definitely not where we were a year ago. We have been contemplating different ways to help this - my mom has even offered for us to come life at home with them. The thought sounds amazing in some ways for financially helping ourselves and saving to finally get our own home ... but obviously there are plenty of negatives .. what are your thoughts?
2006-12-26 14:16:17 · 7 answers · asked by actresscye 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The negatives I see are 1. ego - nothing I can really do about that 2. parents trying to lead our lives or trying to use something over us (i don't think my parents would do that much but my mom and i have a rocky relationship but wants to see us do well) 3. further away from his daughter but it doesn't mean he would give up on that 4. worsen relations with his family (even though they now disown him) but they definitely wouldn't want to see him living here with my mom who has been supportive of him all year 5. no privacy.
We've cut down on a lot but all of it in general is difficult no matter what. We were left with debt in September that we are trying to heal now with old late fees and such and a huge lawyer's bill from fighting for his daughter. We are so in over our heads over it, but I don't give up that easily. My parents were middle class and we had times where we only ate crackers and water until the rocky roads rolled over. Just that we have almost no good credit to
2006-12-26 14:19:48 · update #1
work with right now. It will take almost 5 years to fully repair it to good status while we are living on our own. I think filing bankruptcy is jumping the gun too fast right now.
2006-12-26 14:20:31 · update #2
Oh btw - our current situation (and since we even started being together) is that I've been in school full time and not able to work (due to full time student teaching). So all I bring in is extra loan money from school and a little help from my parents. This will all end when I graduate in May 2007.
2006-12-26 14:33:17 · update #3
Do what you have to do....thank God your parents are willing to help....God bless ya
2006-12-26 14:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though I do not know you or your husband hang in there it will all be OK hold onto the dreams you had when you got married. Problem moving in with your parents is you may resolve money problems but I'm sure you will have more than that if you move in there. Two families cannot live in the same house and function properly and you may cause your parents trouble to.Bottom line is hang in there together you got married for better or worse.My husband and I got married 2 months after we met I already had four kids and now we have two more together needless to say we have experienced everything together we have been married now for 7 years and nothing can come between us. Money has been short and times have been tough lean on each other make small adjustments. It will all be OK. Good Luck
2006-12-26 14:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by lovewhereilive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bottom line is: What does your husband think of your moving back in with your parents? If he has even minor negative thoughts about this, it's a bad idea. Both of you need to solve your problem together. (last year's 'just moving in together woes' does not sound good). You need to sit down together and decide on your priorities - keyword is TOGETHER! As awful as it may sound for your newly-wed bliss, either or both of you may need to consider 2nd jobs for a while to get over this financial hump. The sooner you can get on a cash basis, the better. And working together to solve your financial problems can also bring you together personally (and sexually?)
2006-12-26 14:31:13 · answer #3 · answered by Marianne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only had to go back as far as your post about your hubbys secret emails & exchanging phone numbers with his ex. My thought is get yourself set up as much as possible. You are both very young and you don't know him as well as you thought. Don't take advantage of your folks. Make pymt plans with your creditors & make small minimum pymts until you can afford more. And most important if he asks to put credit in your name since his is shot, don't. He doesn't sound as sincere as you in this relationship even though he apparently talks the talk. Does he really walk the walk? Think it through.
2006-12-26 14:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my journey I even have in no way seen a pair that lived aside because of the fact of issues of their marriage get returned together and stay fortunately ever after. it particularly is obtrusive you're lonely being so a procedures out of your loved ones and having a husband who works lots of hours. you will desire to visit a marriage counselor and notice if there is a few compromise for this occasion. As for him no longer being there to shelter you after your surgical operation, did you're making it sparkling to him which you needed him there? men don't comprehend diffused tricks so in case you in basic terms did no longer pop out and say it he in all risk had no thought you needed him there. i understand what you advise through your husband retreating particularly than speaking and how it makes you sense surpassed over.....my husband does the same element. it particularly is particularly a passive aggressive act yet do no longer attempt to get him to make certain it. rather whilst we went to a marriage counselor he thoroughly unfold out. I had my doubts he would even communicate. i found out lots of issues he have been feeling and thinking that I in no way knew. i assume a therapist's place of work because of the fact the therapist is purpose and each thing is very own is nearly a confessional sales area or something. besides I strongly propose it. no count how your marriage seems you will a minimum of have a miles extra constructive awareness of one yet another and why you're the two the way you're.
2016-12-15 08:44:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and decide. It is that simple on how you wish to deal with it. Both of you put in your input. This is the for better or worse.
2006-12-26 14:43:09 · answer #6 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didnt read read your hole question but i got to the prt where you said you have been only married for 4 months and that was enough for me dont give up so easly it it suppose to bre for better or worst
2006-12-26 14:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by ashley l 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋