Having trouble adjusting, any advice?

Question

So i graduated college last spring.. i have a job in what i majored in, and that's not the problem, but i feel lost now that i'm not in school... i had all my friends there, i was doing something positive with my life and i was never bored.. i just recently broke up with my g/f... and the combo of both just leaves me feeling like crap.. i don't enjoy anything anymore and i'm constantly anxious... ever since i left school i just don't know what to do with myself.. does anyone feel similiar or have any advice?

Answer 1

It is difficult to adjust to such a major change in your life. You have accomplished something that has been a major goal for you, and more than likely you have not taken the time to re-evaluate your goals and set new priorities. When we don't have goals to work toward, we feel as though we are floundering, and have no direction.
This is a very exciting time for you, and it is a very important time as well - you have a new lease on life. My best advice is to start looking for things that interest you, and start dreaming about what you want for the future. Make a list of goals, then set your priorities based on what is most important.
Don't be surprised if your goals change focus in a few years, that is normal. Be flexible enough to say "well, that's not quite as important as it used to be," and reassess and re-evaluate your priorities.
I envy you. I wish someone had told me this when I was your age. I would have done so many things differently.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

You are grieving. Two things - loss of your girlfriend and the loss of your school buddies.

When I am grieving, I work on the Stages of Grieving that were developed by Dr. Marion Kubler-Ross. They are: Disbelief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining/Depression, Acceptance.

I will deal with one aspect at a time e.g. "My Girlfriend_________(name). I will write each Stage heading on a paper & then write what it means to me for that loss.

It will be very revealing as you write. Don't be surprized if you find yourself angry a lot - and at other people. This is misplaced anger. Don't expect to neatly move from one aspect to the next. The feelings will jump around. But you will feel a lot better once you have explored the above concepts.

Then I will follow the same process for each of the other losses: School Friends, School itself, and whatever else comes to mind.

If you have no relief, don't hesitate to see a grief counsellor or therapist.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

hey that sounds like me when my life got all messed up, I moved and lost all my friends, my parents split up, then i got really anxious. It happens to the best of us. Start making some friends but only once you're ready to. Sometimes you just need time to be grouchy and down because you need to feel remorse for your loses, it reminds you how much you cared. Then slowly reintegrate yourself with people your own age. Maybe try taking a late class when you're not working. something fun like ceramics or baking or something. you can meet new people and will stay be partially in school.

Answer 4

I would suggest you get a hobby, and a buddy that you can call on when you start feeling anxious. Some one like a sponsor. Don't stop setting goals for your self just b/c you are out of school.

Answer 5

It takes time to adjust. Later, you can always go back to school for a higher degree or study another subject, if time fails to provide a satisfying life style. Stay in touch with old school friends. Maybe tutor or teach part time.

Answer 6

change is always so uncomfortable- fill up you new life with new friends and focus on your future. think of all the good things to come

Answer 7

ah a little depressed i see, thing have changed for you buddy , tiem to get out a little more start haven more fun ,look at your what you have ,not what you have lost .......