I need some serious help!?

Question

I need some serious help!?
have been married for several years and have found myself with another man, i love my husband, but someting was lacking - now it's not. is this thanks to my lover? should i end it? am so uncertain and insecure at the same time... help me please.....

Answer 1

just ask yourself, "if the situation were turned around and it were your husband having an affair" what would you do? how would you feel? You are being very selfish and very immature for not trying to work the situation out with your husband. now you have an added issue by bringing someone into a relationship in trouble. Not a good thing to do. You need to do what you think is best. However, in order to save the marriage you will need to end the relationship and work on the marriage. You don't get bored or tired or frustrated and find someone else to fill the void. You really should entertain the idea of getting some counseling. Sex is not the most important element in any relationship. And if other things are lacking the sex will also. God Bless****

Answer 2

True about you needing some serious help in this matter. You have become a member of the "cheating spouse club".

This is a serious issue. You found something lacking in your marriage. Did you ever have a talk with your husband about this problem? I assume you didn't bother with that and instead went in search of someone who could provide whatever it was you were lacking in your marriage.

Congratulations on finding that selfish inconsiderate individual who has no problem with the current involvement with a married woman, you both deserve eachother.

You need to tell your husband what you have done, then pack your belongings and get out of his life. He'll never fully trust you again no matter what.

Although you could break off this affair immediately without ever telling your husband, it won't do much good, because keeping the affair a secret will only serve to bring about more emotional problems within yourself. Which will spill over into negative actions you'll unconciously commit against your husband making his life a living hell.

Are you feeling guilty because your husband gave you something special for christmas or treated you really great over this holiday season, which reminded you of the good times in your marriage?

Tell your husband of this affair, move out.

After you have done this, join your lover and cheat on eachother for the rest of your lives.

Answer 3

When you say something was lacking and now it's not, what exactly do you mean? Are you saying that since you've been w/another man, you have gained more attention or love or better sex, or what? And with whom?

You're in a real bind. Believe me, I know what you're going through. You need to think long and hard about your situation. If you truly love your husband and want it to work, then you need to end it w/the other man. Just make sure that you don't get caught by your husband because he may not feel terribly charitable (he may go ballistic, some guys do). Perhaps you could seek personal counseling just to get your head straight and decide how to proceed.

Answer 4

It may be important to find out what void is being filled by the lover and see if you think your husband might not be able to come around in this area.

But more likely it is the newness of the relationship you are reacting to and not any real problem with your husband since you didn't mention any.

Even in good marriages people sometimes become bored of one another. Good morals and strong ties will often keep them from straying and the boredom remains.

In your case you relieved the boredom but not with the right person. There are many was to combat this problem with your husband but often it becomes too late to satisfy us when we take a lover to our bed.

Only you can decide if you want your marriage to continue. If so, only leaving the lover behind and committing yourself to the marriage will give it any hope of success. Counseling sometimes works.

I do not recommend telling your husband of your affair. While unburdening yourself and relieving your guilt it will only break his heart. In my opinion, while the truth, it would be selfish.

Answer 5

You say you love your husband, so what you need to do is figure out what your lover gives you that you're not getting from your husband, is it affection, is he more attentive of your needs, does he listen to you? Once you've figured this out, talk to your husband, he may be having those same feelings you are, about going to counseling with you, or go alone, if he won't go. It will take work to save your marriage, if that is what you both want, but you definitely need to talk to a professional before you do something that you may come to regret later. If you can't afford private counseling, call your local mental health clinic, and they should be able to set you up with a counselor for a minimal amount, or maybe nothing depending on your situation. Good luck and keep strong.

Answer 6

i have recently had marriage problems - none of wich would have been solved by sleeping with another man! if you have felt the need to be with another person in your life - you are either selfish or do not understand the meaning of the word marriage!

to be married to someone is to try and figure out what the problem is and how to solve it. if you cannot do this on your own, then you must speak to a professional help.

i am a great one for telling the truth and only the truth - if you lie, you WILL get caught and someone WILL get hurt - in this situation - YOU and YOUR HUSBAND - STOP NOW.

Answer 7

You need to end it! Being unfaithful, a liar, a questionable in character, and a marraige contract breaker. Does nothing to better you. You are fooled into thinking that you are fulfilled!

You need to remember how you felt when you first married your husband and how he made you feel.

Now when I say to end it... there are two ways!
If you can not measure up to your husband in character... then tell him of your affair and break off your marraige.

If you are a strong person and will never look back.. then end your affair...

End it not tomarrow.. but today! Either one... for the sake of your husband. It is the very least you could do for him at this point since you have betrayed him.

Your husband deserves someone better than you! someone who is trust worthy.. and knows how to love him and make love to him.

Answer 8

Are you asking, shoudl you end the marriage or the affair?
It sounds like you got bored in your relationship not neccasarily that something was missing. I think counceling is in order. First for you and then with your husband. If you truly love him then you must tell him the truth and see if he's willing to forgive you and move forward. The ball really should be in his court. You were wrong in what you did. Keeping it a secret and remaining inyour marriage will eat you alive. Get counceling and see where it goes from there, If he doesn't know yet...seek counceling first before you tell him. Good luck.

Answer 9

u were missing something and most of the times its normal after years of marriage and if we dont care the relationship. this other man waked up something in u which fell to sleep and its only normal that u feel better now . but if u really love ur husband u should end it with ur lover . u cant have both .
good luck

Answer 10

Okay, lets take the direct route on this one, shall we. You are a slutty women, who was only looking for an excuse to cheat, which your husband gave you or you found yourself able to beleive he did anyway.

If a person makes you feel good about yourself, of course they make you have a better view and outlook on things now dont they? Duh. Hard one to understand huh?

I have the feeling that you are just like many are. You get this idea in your head that something is lacking or needed or that you are not treated right or that you are not valued, etc. You get this idea, at times based on fact, at times based upon nothing but fantasy and what you want to do.

Grow up. Obey your vows. This idea that life is suppose to be rosey or that you have a right to be happy is complete idiocy. It is based upon fantasy more then anything else along with looking for reasons to feel good while doing wrong.

Please, if this is what love is to you, dont ever love anyone again. They will be safer if you dont.