ive been married almost 14 yrs but cant stand the inlaws ive tried countless ways to get along helping them giving them things being nice well my nice is gave out this year at christmas they are a big family we try to buy nice things for them we spend alot on them and i try so hard for a nice christmas we get 1.00 gifts from them i know it is not the money its the thought but that hurts cause it dont come from the heart its like i have to buy us a gift my daughter is 11 and she gets her feelings hurt to i had to buy most of the food for christmas dinner and there are 5 plus more family who wont help out my mother in law tells them not to worry abt it and they are not poor i cried all day christmas day and christmas eve please help i am a only child and my mom passed away 2 yrs ago she was very sick im so tired of trying please help thank you happy new years ps my spouse says dont worry abt it but i cant
2006-12-26 13:24:27 · 11 answers · asked by rob 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Quit spending money on them. Save it for your own kids. You cant buy them.
Just have Xmas with your own immediate family and let everyone else fend for themselves.
By the way a period once in a while wouldn't hurt when your writing a paragraph. It's like you talk nonstop.
2006-12-26 13:31:18 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was married for 11 years and i had the same problem, i was the best person that she had ever been with, i dont drink,or go out with the boys, was the ideal husband kept in top shape, didnt stray treated her family better than my own walked on egg shells, but i was always wrong, the ahole, there is pretty much nothing that you can do, just be happy and respect your spouse, if they cant see that you are the best thing to ever happen to their child then oh well you did your best, they are miserable and subconsiously they want the same for you
2006-12-26 13:33:55 · answer #2 · answered by waterboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear of your plite. Give your husband a good talking to so that he can understand how the entire ordeal is affecting you. Your in-laws should have been your out-laws since you got married. They are so cheap. Isn't ther a way for you and your family to be abscent from home for the christmas. that would suit them fine.
You husabnd needs to remember that he promise on your wedding day to be one with you and vice versa. You did not marry your in-laws so they need buck up orto stay out of the picture.
2006-12-26 13:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by clar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had similar problems. Just stop spending on them cos the more you do the more hurt you will get. Even though you spend so much and do so much you are still in the bad books i suppose so if you wont do anything you will still be in the same place so that shudnt make a difference.
2006-12-26 13:47:44 · answer #4 · answered by Juls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had similar problems with my in-laws. I've tried everything (including writing, talking, etc.). The only thing that's helped, unfortunately, is space. I'm around them as little as possible. The good thing for me, though, is that my husband sees how crazy they act and supports me so he doesn't freak out when I don't go over to their house. We DO have children and I also make sure to never involve them in it and NEVER do I try to keep them from their grandparents.
Good luck.
2006-12-26 13:28:17 · answer #5 · answered by Tina K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you said it, it's the thought that counts not the price. Don't be so sensitive. Don' t let it eat you alive. If you love your wife and your day to day family life, it is not worth hurting the marriage over such a small thing. I'm sorry but it really is small.
2006-12-26 13:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should teach your child that whatever is given to her -should be appreciated- and if you already know how your in-laws are - change your attitude- don't beat yourself up-
i feed 25 people for Christmas and each and everyone gets a gift- i get nothing in return it used to bother me, but i just let it go - now i feel that i have an abundance and i share it - and God gives me more every year - be great full for life let the little things like in-laws- go
enjoy life
2006-12-26 13:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what they do to u... should b done to them
they buy u a $1.00 present u should do the same thing.... ur wife should b the one pullin her family up on this not u....doesnt she have a back bone,,, is she scared of her family... u need to comfront them and tell them how u feel, cause if u dont ur goin 2 xplode at ur wife and her family...
2006-12-26 13:36:22 · answer #8 · answered by sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this in 2007....
These are your husbands parents and not yours so you don't have to have a close relationship with them.
Be respectful and polite to them like you would anybody else you know but you don't have to like them or love them.
When your husband goes for a visit let him go alone....use that time to do somethings you like to do that he doesn't.
It will make your relationship with them and him much better and it'll take away the stress.
2006-12-26 13:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just stay away from them dude, tell them like it is, plain talk bad manners, its either they continue to have no decorum or you could fix the problem.
2006-12-26 13:32:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋