Should I stop talking to my ex?

Question

We were together for four years and he is engaged. I still love him, and he calls me a lot just to talk. I know it's easy to say move on but, it's really hard I am trying to but, the more I talk to him the more I feel torn. I told myself I would stop talking to him but, I know I will be miserable without talking to him or having him in my life because he is such a big part of it and has been for so long it's hard to let go. I told him that I was going to have to stop talking to him once he got married and he seemed upset. I don't see a reason for me to talk to him then or now really but, it's hard to let go because I feel it will only hurt me in the end

Answer 1

You have to let him go. That means no talking to him.

Answer 2

i think that you really do need to move on and let go. maybe give yourself a (short) time limit. My ex used to call me and even though I had a boyfriend and a new baby I would talk to him. I liked to know that he was okay, because we had been together for a long time. but eventually you realize that you are holding on to nothing and the conversations are pointless. If he is already engaged, I'm assuming you have been split up for some time now. I think by continuing to talk to him you are simply setting yourself up to be hurt more. Tell him not to call you. If he is in love and getting married, why is he calling you? Of course he seemed upset because right now he is having his cake and eating it too.

Answer 3

Yes, you should stop talking to your ex. He's your ex because he doesn't want to make a future with you. All the talking in the world isn't going to make him want you. You can't get over him because you're nursing the feelings you have for him. You'll have to force yourself to stop communicating with this man. This man doesn't care anything about you and thinks you're beneath him. That's why he wants you to accept things as they are. Don't wait until the ex gets married to stop talking to him, do it now. You're hurting because you have feelings for this man, but that's not a reason to keep treating yourself like you're doing. Block out this guy's number so he can't call you, block his emails or don't open them, block his text messaging, and don't do any instant messaging with him. You need to take care of yourself. He's no longer a big part of your life any more, he's a big part of another woman's life. Start doing positive things that'll help take your mind of the ex. A few examples are: starting a hobby you can develop, learning a foreign language or American sign language, joining a local church and getting involved, learning first-aid/cpr, and try volunteering. These things will not cause you pain and hurt. The hurt you feel now is nothing compared to the hurt, misery, and pain you'll have if you keep talking with this man.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for the pain.
In reality though, it will not hurt you in the end, it will free you and give you a chance to heal. Until you turn this off, you have no chance to go through a grief cycle for the end of the relationship. And until that is done, you will be unable to find out who you really are...and in time, who someone else really is.
Remember - if this guy left you, then he isn't what you really need anyway. If this guy is so busy talking to you when he is engage, he isn't what you really want anyway.

Answer 5

I have a similar situation.was married 7 yrs together 17 yrs.We have gotten together a few times even had sex ..We have no future but i still let her use me cause i still love her.Now does that sound stupid ? I hope so don't let it happen to you your right at the end and there will be one only you will hurt stop talking unless your with a counselor.I'm working on ending my drama now so should you.Good Luck 2 U

Answer 6

i say let him go. i was in a similar situation.
When me and my ex broke up..i was DEVI STATED!
I found that the more time i spent talking to him and keeping contact with him..it only made the moving on process harder. One day he called my phone and that was the day that i decided...no more phone calls, no more AOL messaging etc. If i hadn't moved on, i wouldn't have found the best thing in my life. Let him go and eventually he'll see what he left. Something better awaits you, but if you're too caught up on a break up or and ex, you may miss that "perfect one".
Good luck.

Answer 7

you need to let go. I didn't and now have a broken heart, he wants his ex-wife back. So while I'm in pain, he's making plans to move back in with her and does not care about me and our daughter. The man you are talking about is engaged to someone else, that means he does not love you, and any hopes to get him back won't go anywhere, but will leave you miserable.

Answer 8

Sounds like he is keeping you on the back burner, "just in case" it doesnt work out with her. He wants the best of both worlds. Dont give it to him. The more you hang on sweetie the harder it is to get over him. I know how hard it is and I am behind you 100%. Been there done that. Its hard but you have to keep your dignity. The best revenge is to do good for yourself and let him see you can live your life without him. It will kill him. Trust me on this one.

Answer 9

Too bad if he got upset, he's an engaged man and has plans to marry someone else. Stop the contact, you'll be doing yourself the biggest favor in the end.

Answer 10

u keep talking to him because down deep u still have faith he won't marry her and he will come back to u. but really your chasing a dream that may never come, and setting yourself up for a huge heartache. he has already chosen her over u face reality here, see the facts for what they are. what keeps u miserable is these expectations that u have, and when he does marry her it will only be harder on u, need to distance yourself from that. if u know it's only going to hurt u please stop it now, and find someone else to love that is free to love u back, and who isn't about to marry someone else.

Answer 11

Ask him if his fiance knows that you are still in love with him and if she does then is it o.k. that the two of you talki often. Also, does his fiance want you to attend the wedding or buy the two of them a gift? It sounds like you're pretty smart, but your ex is manipulating you. Yes, it will / is hurting you, but tell your ex if he contacts you then you will let his fiance know about the conversations. Better yet, block his number or change your contact info.