Been married 4 13yrs now. Hv 2 wonderful boys. 1 a 12yr old & 1 barely a yr old. I'm from a broken family. I do not wish my children 2 go thru a rough childhood as mine. My hubby's been in a relationship wif another woman whom he taught as a trainee b4. Now she's a divorcee. I have been advised 2 leave him 4 gd....
2006-12-26 12:05:37 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do yourself a favor and get some kind of counseling first. Maybe you should have a talk with him too? If he's fooling around, it would be in your best interests to protect your self both financially and sexually ... since you don't know where he's been and where the money's going. Good luck to you, that's a tough spot.
2006-12-26 12:10:11 · answer #1 · answered by suz_e_q_zee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who advised you to leave your husband ?? Only you can decide whether your marriage is worth fighting for or not. Do you still love your husband ?? Do you think he still loves you ?? These are two very important questions you need to find out before you decide on anything else. Can you forgive him for what he has done ?? That is probably even more important than the first two questions. Ofcourse you are feeling lonely and depressed, you have been betrayed and that is the most hurtful and abusive thing one partner can do to another. You have two children to love and think about and worry about their future also. You must decide in your heart what you really want and if you want your marriage to work then you must speak to your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. That will be a start and hopefully he will feel the same way and you can begin to repair the damage that he has caused to your lives. If he does not feel the same then l guess you will have to prepare yourself for a life without him. I wish you all the best for the future and hope all works out the way you want it to. Good luck
2006-12-26 12:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your feelings of loneliness and pain. These are real feelings you are dealing with, and that is awful. However, you have two dear children who need you so much. Give them the best life you can, as well as yourself, by seeking first, God's will, and HE doesn't want you to be so unhappy. He made you to live life to the fullest. The two children are gifts from HIM. HE did not put them here to suffer either, just because their father cannot be mature, respected adult, who values life. Your husband will have to answer for his actions, and one day, hopefully it's not too late, correct his choices. As for you, I'm sorry for your pain, but, two wrongs don't never make it right. Forgiveness is a issue that is hard to sort out. Can you totally forgive him? Maybe he doesn't want forgiveness, or to be married. Let him go, and and cut your losses. Give your children and yourself a new life, that you deserve. Seek some counseling first, after you pray. The Lord hears every single prayer and knows your heart. Be strong for your kids, they love you so much. Wouldn't it be easier to love them without all this extra baggage? Good luck.
2006-12-26 12:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by mickey 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is cheating your staying in this relationship will not benefit the children. So, your the good guy and don't disrupt the home life. What about what he just did? You should leave if you have any self-esteem and want better role model for your kids. I'm not saying that infidelity can't be forgiven, but only you can decide that. THEy say once a cheater always a cheater, so beware.
2006-12-26 12:10:12 · answer #4 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know who advised you but if you still love him, you don't have to leave him. I would fight for him. I would offer him some marriage counseling. If he agrees and you two can go long enough to figure out what went wrong and when, you could still save this marriage. Most times marriages drift apart due to lack of communication on one or both sides. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose.
2006-12-26 12:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd leave and show my children I don't need a cheater in my life to make me happy. Just because I may of come from a rough childhood dosn't mean I still have to live that way.
2006-12-26 12:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should do this...you should do that... you should leave him... you should stay... BLAH BLAH BLAH, it goes on and on doesn't it. Let me simplify, this is what you need (I suffered depression and loneliness for a long time, still do at times...) when you get up in the morning 3 internal statements you should either write down or say to yourself internally, prefereably while staring in the mirror.
1>STAY POSITIVE
2>I AM A BEAUTIFUL PERSON
3>WHAT DO I WANT?
These are three basic things to say to yourself everyday, if you just say them even if you don't believe them or feel like them, you will get everything you will want out of your life and you won't even know how it happened when you look back.
Life is so complicated, (just look at the range of answers you have collected as evidence) SO SIMPLIFY.
2006-12-29 11:05:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is the time do you want to keep your man or not!@
Be sweet, submissive to him, honour and respect him meet all of his sexual needs, and no nagging, bitching and etc.
keep the house clean, and etc, keep it favorite meals cooked, and yes you are at war with this woman, she lost her man, so she is after yours!
Stay in your home with him, and give her the advice, STay away from my man, keep away, he loves me and his own children, and does not want a whore divorcee who left her man, that the chase is over!
Keep your self ready for sex, dressed, and smelling good at all time, and don't let your guards down!
As a wife, and mother of his children you have a better opportunity than she does!
Then, when the hefter is gone, you need to work on forgiving him, and emotional healing from all this mess, and please exercise, take care of yourself, and remember, marriage is worth the fight to keep, especially if you love this man, and you don't want a divorce.
2006-12-26 12:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes u should leave him, yes u guys got married and have a commiotment, but hes obviously broken it so u need to get out of the relationship because this is worse on ur children because they dont see u hapy, and might even see hear u guys fighting. When i was younger my parents would fight all the time and its psychologically hurt me in many ways...so i advise u to leave please for the sake of the children
2006-12-26 12:11:34 · answer #9 · answered by tragickingdom 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes i have been there, have u confronted hubby? ask him what he wants to do, if he wants to work on the marriage or if he is going to keep seeing her. if he is u need to make him move out, let him go live with her, and get a taste of what she is really like. i would never put up with cheating, as it does undermine our self worth, and self confidence. make him move out, file for child support and spousal support, show him u got some balls. if he moves on u really haven't lost a thing, but a cheater, maybe he will see what it's like to live with her, and be more than happy to come back to u. as we never really know a person till we live with them. u don't have him anyway if he is also with her, so worth a try anyway. maybe if he has to live with her it may be alot less romantic than he sees it now. but u really haven't lost a thing but a cheater, and who wants a husband that has already picked someone else over u.
2006-12-26 12:16:41 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋