How can I make my GYN visit and pelvic exam less humiliating?

Question

I have to go see a GYN next month, and I'm dreading it. I've not had a pap smear or pelvic exam in about 12 years because I hate them with a passion. I am very overweight, and I can't get the image out of my head that the doc is thinking "Dear God, what a monster." Plus, I just have bad feelings associated with pelvic exams. HELP!!!!!

Answer 1

Sweetie,it matters not what you weigh,they are there because that is their job.They are educated professionals,and do not pay attention to weight,unless you feel it is linked to something in that area.It can be somewhat embarassing,but i am sure you would rather go through that and be saved from having a more serious illness,than to not and risk your health.Your health isnt worth it.You need to get checked often,12 years is NOT a good thing.It is very dangerous,especially with the link between HPV and cancer,so please get checked.Remember,if nothing is found after this you only have to get them once a year(of course,unless something arises).They will not make fun of you,or humilate you.You will have a female nurse present if you wish(if your doctor is a male).They are professionals hun,and they are there to help you.Just keep that in mind and try to relax.Once its over,you will be relieved.Good luck ,and have a safe and blessed new year.

Answer 2

Doctors are pretty much immune to the size of the person they are examining, for the most part. Is your gynecologist male or female? For whatever reason, I just feel more comfortable with a woman gynecologist. Perhaps it's because she understands?

To help get through an exam, I would suggest thinking about all the things you need to do after wards or picture yourself doing something other than the exam. Fortunately, these things don't take long, so by the time you have yourself firmly planted in a relaxing scene, the doc is usually done.

If you haven't had a pap or pelvic exam in about 12 years, how long has it been since you had a mammogram done? I don't much care for being flattened like a pancake either, but would rather be sure than be dead, ya know? If you drink a bunch of caffeine and eat chocolate, stop those for about a week before that exam and it won't be as painful. Helps, too, is having a tech who knows how to be gentle.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I would not believe doctors have seen it all, and they are all professionals and blabla. I know many, some are in my family, and they are bigots, conservatives, and you could well run into some fat-shamer bastard. If you choose to have these exams, I would suggest you shop around for doctors very carefully. Also inform yourself thoroughly about these exams before you put yourself through them. Well-woman exams for asymptomatic women are NOT recommended in the UK, neither in most part of the developed world. I am 32 by the way. I lived in the USA briefly, and I am abhorred by the blatant sexual abuse that goes in that country, thinly disguised as medical care. These exams have absolutely nothing, nothing at all to do with the pill, the only medical requirements are a blood pressure check and family history. ACOG, the american college of obstetrics and gynaecologists recommends pelvic exams based on "expert opinion": ACOG recommends yearly full pelvic examinations for patients aged 21 years and older, but notes that the advice is based on "expert opinion, and limitations of the internal pelvic examination should be recognized." For example, the bimanual examination is useful for evaluating the uterus, but has a low sensitivity for detecting "adnexal masses," which include ovarian cysts and ectopic pregnancies.

"Although annual pelvic exams for women older than 21 years seem "logical," the opinion notes that "[n]o evidence supports or refutes the annual pelvic examination or speculum and bimanual examination for the asymptomatic, low-risk patient." In addition, no data exist on when and how often to perform the exam. Ultimately, the decision whether or not to perform a complete pelvic examination "should be a shared decision after a discussion between the patient and her health care provider."

Even ACOG says the practice of pelvic exams on asymptomatic women is NOT evidence based. They are about money making, and a power trip for perverted doctors. Pap smears are again controversial, the cancer is rare, has always been in the developed world, and the test was implemented on a population base without clinical trials. There is a high rate of false positives and false negatives. http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2009/11/informed-consent-missing-pap-smears-cervical-cancer-screening.html

Answer 4

Fat or not, this is their job. They don't care if you are fat or not. with the exception of worrying about your health). I'm fat and I had seriously baaaadd experiences with GYN's really early in life. Do you get humiliated when you go to the dentist because of your weight? A pelvic exam is not sexual so fat shouldn't be an issue. it's just like a dentist appointment except between your legs. It sounds like there is a much deeper reason you are freaked out by this. Like shame of your body and all it's parts. That you can help by taking better care of yourself and seeking psychiatric help even or a support group. Good luck and remember, just think of it like a physical or a dental appointment, they are just making sure you are healthy. You may also want to try a different doctor until you find one you are more comfortable with.

Answer 5

The doctor is a professional and should not judge you, BUT going to a woman might make it less embarrasing.

I always go to a woman doctor. I think that a woman needs a male doctor to do her pap smear like a fish needs a bicycle. Vaginal health is a woman's issue, and there is no reason to go to the opposite sex for that if you don't want to.

Before anyone comes down on me for this reply, you might note that men feel the same way about women testing them for prostate cancer and everyone consioders the choice of a male doctor for that perfectly sensible, so I'm only suggesting the use of the same tactic; woman going to woman just as man goes to man.

Answer 6

ask some of your friends about a obgyn they go to and recommend. you may have just had a bad one. sure, no one likes going for THOSE visits -- but you need to get certain things checked out on a regular basis.

i really like my doctor. he's very professional and answers all my questions. the exam is very quick. fortunately its only a yearly deal... but with a decent doctor it doesn't have to be a huge thing.

also -- keep in mind that your doc has seen thousands of women -- some better looking and some a lot uglier so don't worry about it. a good professional doctor is in the field because they like the science of it. go get checked out to make sure everything is ok down there. do it every year. don't be afraid to keep looking for a doctor you are comfortable with -- some women prefer female doctors for this.

Answer 7

Don't worry about your weight. If that is the only thing holding you back, then you are doing your health an injustice. If anything, that IS a reason to have a pelvic exam!!! If you need a way to help you to relax, do what my daughter did at her first exam...imagine one of your parents in their underwear. She said it helped her relax to the point that the dr had to ask her to stop giggling (I'm a little overweight myself).

Answer 8

It is scary for most women, thin, overweight, dont matter who. You should not be humiliated its something all women need to do. I hate dentest waited 10 years and end up with 6 cavaties, you really should go before something bad happens or get worse

Answer 9

Your doctor has seen several people just like you and should be more concerned with what is going on with your vaginl health. Just keep saying to yourself that the doctor is a professional and is not impressed nor repulsed by this. It's their job! Try concentrating on breathing and relaxing. Your embarassment is not worth risking your health. Good luck sweetie and don't be so hard on yourself. :o)

Answer 10

I don't like them either and i'm over weight too. The doctor always gets on to me about my weight too. I'm 5'9" and weigh about 230. I dread it every 6 months. I have to go every 6 months cause i'm on birth control. I just tell myself I have to go to make sure i'm healthy. I don't want cancer and if I get it I want it caught early.
I go to a female obgyn doctor and I feel more comfortable with her than a male though.