OK, Last night I posted a question about my best friend. Seems that the problems with his wife were not unfounded. He has admitted to me that he is Love with me. YIKES!! Well I love him too, but like a borther, he has always been there for me. But now he wants to have SEX with me. We are both married, and I don't think it is right. But, I don't want to lose my friend either. He told me that ever since he met me he has been "In Love" with me. SUPER YIKES! I just thought we were best friends. So now what do I do? My wife told me she is disturbed by this revelation, and his wife told me that she is OK with it, because she knows its real love for him. I feel trapped, and cornered. All this time, and the truth comes out, finally. I have never been with another guy beofre, but I DO Love my friend. Is SEX the only way to express this emotion. He was really convincing about wanting to be with me, but I don't know. I'm scared to lose my friend over this, and he really really wants to do it.
2006-12-26 11:47:35 · 15 answers · asked by Long Beach Moose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It sounds to me that you are curious about being sexually intimate with your friend also!! Sex is not the only way to express your feelings for someone. You say that you love him like a brother but then you say that "YOU DO LOVE HIM!!" You need to search within yourself and find your true feelings. That is the only way to reslove your problem. Your friend shouldn't pressure you in doing something that you don't want to do, unless it is something that you want to do....IF he is a true friend then your friendship shouldn't be jepordized by this even if you say no or yes....it's your decision but don't do it just because you don't want to lose a friend!!
2006-12-26 11:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Floridapurrfection 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this is a possibility for you, but you can't have everything in this world. You have to decide: are you straight, bi, or gay? I know it's a hard decision, but it doesn't sound like your wife wants to be anything but monogamous (which you must respect). If you want to continue being with your wife romantically, in a relationship, you should make it clear to your wife and friend that you respect your marriage and, while you're curious about your friend, you're not going to act on it. If you feel your marriage is a mask for your true feelings about men and you're just trying to keep your wife happy, leave her before you become involved with your friend (it's only right). Don't beat yourself up over this. I don't believe you deserve a "moralistic" lecture; that's the last thing you need in this kind of situation. But you do have to make a choice. Just be open and honest with all parties involved about the choices you are making.
2006-12-26 20:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The near fact that you question "if to" should reassure you about your sexual preferrence. Although both married, obviously you're both bisexual or gay. If that is the case, I would suggest not going for it because you're "friends" - I would though suggest you both talk about this because guys dont just "fall inlove" with another man, unless if they're gay/bi.
If you're both just in it for the sex, and are curious about it, I would suggest you both experiment on your own terms with someone different than yourselves. And please, if you're going to do this, leave your wives and get a divorce. I'm gay and I don't find right at all for a man to think he's married and in their minds think its "OK" for him to get some "head" or just a "booty call" from a guy and not be considered gay (macho-pride).
Your problem here is not if too have sex with your best friend, it's about questioning who you and your best friend really are and what lie your hiding behind of by being married. You've obviously have considered it, you stated:
"He was really convincing about wanting to be with me, but I don't know "
You are only causing emotional scars to your wives and yourselves. Stop the lie. Find your true selves and only then will you find happiness. And that my friend, is what is right for either party in both relationships.
Have a good evening.
2006-12-26 19:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by Albert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just explain to him that you love him like a brother but you don't want to have sex with him....why would you even consider it? Are you willing to risk losing your wife or your friend more??????
2006-12-26 19:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good Lord gave us brains to make choices. Good choices. One day you will stand before him. Are you ready to answer to HIM your choices? HE also gave you a wife. The Bible says Adam and Eve, not, Adam and Steve.
Sorry.
I think you're playing with fire. God loves you no matter what you do, but, we also must answer for our poor choices, and suffer the results of those we choose poorly.
2006-12-26 19:52:44 · answer #5 · answered by mickey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he really loves u too he n if he cares about ur friendship
he will respect ur decision...
and if ur not gay...then u should NOT have sex with ur bestfriend
ur bestfriend is not for having sex with...thats ur girlfriend...
tell him u want to be friends...n thats all..
2006-12-26 19:52:52 · answer #6 · answered by ehhh. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kill urself, no no don't do that, but that's what I'd do. If your sexual orientation is straight, then you need to make that extreemly clear to him and reject any advances he may make. I also wouldn't want my wife to leave me, so make up your priorities: friendship or mariage, asap!
2006-12-26 19:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by Liam R 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW THATS CRAZY WELL IF YOU LOVE HIM THEN I GUESS BE WITH HIM AND IF NOT THEN JUST ASK HIM IF YOU GUYS CAN STILL BE FRIENDS WITHOUT LOVEING EACHOTHER IN THAT KINDA WAY IM SURE HE WONT HATE YOU FOR IT I HOPE I HELP!
2006-12-26 19:52:07 · answer #8 · answered by ?PARIS HILTON? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once u have sex its more than friendship!! Are you sure you want it up your a s s too!??
2006-12-26 19:51:40 · answer #9 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your married and love ur wife y would u consider screwing this guy?
2006-12-26 20:08:43 · answer #10 · answered by Dulceata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋