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He or she cheats, your partener of 3 years. Once. Apology after apology after apology, tears and more tears... They have made it very clear that they are sorry, and have sworn on their life it would never happen again.

What would you do and WHY? Would you turn your current life upside down to start a new one over again? Do you believe them? Would you trust them?

HONEST & SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE.

2006-12-26 11:24:23 · 24 answers · asked by melsaruly 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

24 answers

Alright, let's face it we are all human and are susceptible to human temptations. Assuming that your partner is sincerely and genuinely sorry and contrite and is making every effort to earn your trust again, I say that your relationship is definitely worth saving. Do remember though, you can forgive, just do not forget because forgetting can make us act stupid like putting our hand on the hot stove burner more than once.

2006-12-26 11:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by maggiepirsq 4 · 1 0

Honestly and seriously my husband did cheat and yes we did separate for a short time but he is truely remorseful for his infidelity and we are working things out. Yes l do believe that he is very sorry and it will never happen again. We have been married 30 yrs and l know it is no excuse but he said he was confused and hurt and wasn't sure how l felt about him anymore. He also said that she was just a mistake, one that he wishes he had never made but unfortunately you can't turn back time, we must all move forward.The trust issue is certainly the hardest but l honestly believe that with a lot of time and plenty of love between the two of us we can overcome this as well. I do not believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater " l honestly feel that everyone deserves one second chance and if they can prove to you that they are now trustworthy that's good enough for me. Hope this has helped. Good luck

2006-12-26 11:55:38 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0 0

Hello,
This is something that if were me I'd have to truly give deep thought to. First am I willing to accept these apologies over and over? Am I willing to stay with someone who seems to not know what the word commitment is? Can I trust him? Am I willing to trust him again?

Fact is everyone makes mistakes and though people hurt because of them the great thing about making those mistakes is learning from them and with that comes wisdom.

Trust is something that has to be earned, it can't be given out like freebies at SAM's club. Hearing I'm sorry over and over want cut it. It's hard to forget but easy to forgive.. I suggest for anyone dealing with an issue like this to move on with life.

You see after all this drama theres something not right about the relationship to begin with. I suggest that the person communicate to the other this is it the line has been drawn and this simply isn't going to work.

No more tears will I cry, no more hearing lies.. You must move on with life. There is no starting over dear one, each and every day that we wake up it's a new day a new start .. So take it upon yourself to let this person go.

Life is so precious and to spend it on someone who has cheating said sorry on and on well it's wasting time that can't be regained.

I can't say believe them or not because you already know the answer to that.. look inside your heart. I believe that you know what you need to do but are afraid of taking that leap of faith to move on.

Let me just say this don't be afraid to move on and to start your life anew! Trust me you'll hurt , you'll cry when you make this move but in the long run, you'll have peace of mind, peace at heart and will have learned a valuable lesson in life making you all the wiser.

2006-12-26 11:39:06 · answer #3 · answered by ssgtmommy01 2 · 0 0

It almost always happens again honey, even after all the apologies and tears. They put on this act to get their own way. Once they are comfortable with the relationship they will do it again. Hoping you wont find out this time, but if you do, hey you stayed the first time so they think they can manipulate you into staying again. Once that trust is broke it takes a life time to get it back. He has already proved to you that he IS capable of cheating and perhaps lying, how could you trust him again.
BTW, my ex swore on his grandpas grave it would never happen again, and you guessed it! It happened more then once after that. They will tell you anything I mean anything just to get you to stay. But hey everyone is worth a second chance right? You know the ole saying "Screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me.

2006-12-26 12:57:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I would leave. I would forgive her, but I would tell her I'm leaving you for some time, & then I will decide if I want to take you back or not. After a certain amount of time, If I feel she is truly ready for a change, then I will get back together, however if she runs around and continues to do what she did, then goodbye.

Just remember they promised to be faithful once, so if they lied once, they most certainly are capable of doing it again. No matter how convincing they may seem, or how many tears.

2006-12-26 11:29:51 · answer #5 · answered by ۞ JønaŦhan ۞ 7 · 0 0

Experience breeds tolerance and understanding. I had none for cheaters, until I did it myself. I was being neglected; severely. Basically ignored. I did it to validate myself. The details are very revealing: the person was 23 years my junior, the total opposite in stature, body type, educational status and race, to my love.
I was very much in love, but I was abandoned when my lover went overseas to attend to a sick family member who eventually died. We had cultural differences, but I was never able to determine whether or not these made my lover insensitive to me culturally, or just as a person. Perhaps I was being used all along. I may never know. The story doesn't end happily. Although I was constantly reassured (when I got in contact) that a return was emminent and I was loved, my lover never tried to contact me or set a return date. Once I was told, "Don't rush me." That was the comment that fueled my infidelity.
No, I wasn't married, but I was very committed. In fact, I'm still in love. I've heard my lover has returned to the U.S. I won't seek contact. First, I don't know where to look; second, I've moved out of state and third, I've come to realize that nobody who loves me would have left me hanging like that, no matter what the circumstances.
I said all that to say this: cheating is a choice; but it has its motivations. I'd try to understand, now that I've done it myself, I can see how it happens. I'd own up to my responsibility in being a motivation, if there was any, and I'd try to work it out if I was really in love.
Good luck.

2006-12-26 11:41:00 · answer #6 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0 0

My body may stay but my heart wouldn't because disloyalty is a sign that the person is untrustworthy and although anyone can change: it takes some serious soul searching over time to achieve that change...not just because they say they are 'sorry' or 'won't ever do it again". To a liar or cheater words are 'deeds' and they get extremely angry when you don't receive their words as such. I believe time will prove just how 'sorry' they are.

2006-12-26 11:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0 0

Honest answer: No. a Cheater is a cheater.cheaters never change.They enjoy doing it.They can promise that is not happen again,and always happen again and again.Cheaters had addiction to cheat.They enjoy having sex,does not matter if they are married,of if they have partners.Best smart idea is let those cheaters alone,and start in other place a new clean relationship.I know men and women who cheat,and promise to their partners do not do it again,and they always cheat again.It is really an addiction to cheat,as porn is.

2006-12-26 11:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0 0

I've been through this situation before, me and this guy, we dated for 2 almost 3 years. He cheated several times and finally, i found out. He cheated on me with my brother in laws girlfriend. I forgave him... He cried, he pleaded, he begged. I gave in. It was never the same after that... If there's no trust, there's no relationship. After i gave him that chance, he cheated on me again... the saying goes like this "Fool me once, shame one you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I broke up with him. as hard as it was, i knew that things were never going to be the same after this was done twice. What I'm saying is NO don't stay with someone that's cheated on you because they'll probably do it again. Save yourself the time and the pain.

2006-12-26 12:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well, if you really believe they are sorry... then you should think about a second chance.. BUT only if you make him suffer first.. he can't think its easy to get away with ya know? Leave him for a while... flirt make new friends.. but still keep him on a dangling leash so you know that he knows that you "may" be interested in him still..
He can't see you quickly forgive.. no matter how sorry he is...

2006-12-26 11:31:33 · answer #10 · answered by yo mama 4 · 0 0

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