well im not that great im very self concense i know im to young to find some 1 but im mature enough i want to love some 1. what shoulg i do
2006-12-26 11:08:19 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
First of all, please ignore any negative comments on here, especially this Mary character. She needs to get herself a cat scan. Here's the deal, I'm 20 and I haven't been in love yet. Look, I know you really want to find someone, but at your age I would be surprised if anyone is truly in love or has found love (gay or straight). It doesn't matter how long it takes, but you have to wait until you've found the right person. You can't just rush into a relationship just because you want to find someone. I know you probably see all of the couples at school that seem so happy and seem so in love. Well, the truth is most of them are not. They just think they are. Fourteen is a difficult age to come to terms with your sexuality. My advice: Don't worry about finding a relationship right now. Stick with your friends and you will be fine. They can fill the void. Just have fun, you're only a kid once.
2006-12-26 11:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Alex -
People have given you a lot of suggestions as it is already. Here are mine (and I'm gay).
1) Even at 14, you could be mature enough to love someone. And old enough to realize you're gay ... You probably always knew it to some degree since you didn't wake up one day and decide you are gay. Like other people have said on this site - sexually transmitted diseases are very serious and could kill you. So go out and find a warm, caring guy around your age to love - but wait a few years until you have sex. Remember - sex is NOT love, it's lust. You can definitely love someone without sex. And when you're eventually ready to have sex, it's always a good idea for both of you to get tested to make sure you're not going to give each other any diseases.
2) There are a variety of places you can find other gay people. One is your school. When you are comfortable telling other people you are gay, you will gradually find out who around you is gay or bisexual too. Be VERY careful online - you might actually start out just trying to make gay friends rather than to find a lover. One way to start off safe is to start friendships with people in other states that can be more "pen pals" or "IM pals" than someone you hang out with every day in person. Not everyone will want to get into your pants, but a lot of guys will. You'll find some web sites are more notorious for this than others. Connexion.org seems to be pretty tame but even they might limit visitors to 18 years old and more. Again, it's probably safer just to stay with people in your school or local groups anyway when you actually want to date.
3) There's no reason to be self-conscious. The people around you really aren't that concerned about you anyway - they're more concerned with themselves. You'll realize this as you come out to people and let them know you're gay. Watch their reaction... it won't be "oh, that must be so difficult for you holding your feelings inside all this time" - if they're a straight girl they may be thinking "no fair, the good ones are always gay" - your mom might think "where did I go wrong?" even though there's nothing wrong and nothing she could have done differently anyway. My point is, you don't have to flaunt your gayness, but don't be self conscious about it or anything else. Just be *yourself* (not who you think you should be as a member of the gay community), be safe, and enjoy your life.
2006-12-26 19:48:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I am bi and a while ago, before I told anyone I was bi, there were no non-straight people at my school. Then my best friend told me she was bi then I told her. After that, I started meeting a bunch of bi people and finding out that a bunch of people I already knew are bi. So you might just have to wait. But if you want to you can look for teen meetings like youth groups or the YMCA. There are tons of them. Or if you're in high school there are usually Gay Straight Alliances. If there isn't you can start one! I hope this helped.
2006-12-26 19:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by MCRlover12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the size of your city, there may be a youthgroup w/ meetings (usually meet at barnes and noble or something) and that can be a good way to meet someone your age. If you're in a smaller city, yahoogroups online (or something similar) may be the best option, though I would be really wary about meeting people from online. If you feel comfortable, a guidance councelor may be able to help you find somewhere in your community.
2006-12-26 19:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is really good that you have a high level of self awareness but having sex to soon can be dangerous (hiv/aids/stds/rape/gay-bashers) i am not telling you to live your life in fear or any thing but in a few years you will be able to take care of your self much better. and the enter net is a bad way to meet people when you are 14 you dont know who they are for real. try to find people your age by networking with your friends.
2006-12-26 19:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by joe s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but you are only 14 years old. For your own emotional and physical safety, please don't go looking for guys to hook up with. Most, if not all, of the men that you will meet will be older guys (many of them gross and ugly) who'll just want to take advantage of you. I promise you that you will be left emotionally hurt and disolusioned. If you are looking for other gay kids in your area, I would suggest calling your state or city's GLBT Center. They will be able to supply you with resources for gay youth in your area. Best of luck!!
2006-12-26 19:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Most websites will only have people 18 years old and older. Try to find out if your city has any gay youth clubs where you can meet people.
2006-12-26 19:11:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to find anyone. Like the other said, go to a gay community center youth group, be proud, have fun, and be safe (smart).
Don't cruise websites for hookups, that's asking for trouble.
2006-12-26 19:16:53 · answer #8 · answered by IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should buy a dictionary - intelligence is way more sexy than ignorance. And, you should wait until the time comes... You'll get there buddy. Its good that you know yourself, but you still have much to learn. Like, how to be alone and enjoy it. When you learn this, others will want you in their life. Trust me.
2006-12-26 19:12:13 · answer #9 · answered by YDoncha_Blowme 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would go to a pflag meeting. There you could possibly meet others in the same situation.
2006-12-26 22:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋