what are good things to do to heal after a divorce?

Question

i got married to my first love young and i am still young but it hurts how did you heal?
i have no kids so what do you do when you have to start a new relationship and how fast after did you date?

Answer 1

i would start by looking in the mirror and say to myself, i'm gonna be okay, i'm smart, i'm pretty, i have a wonderful personality and i'm not gonna waste it".. then i would get into contact with some of my more available friends and make nights to go hang out.. i would never pass off meeting new people unless they just weren't my type.. i would make new friends also.. i think the question for how fast after did you date is gonna be one you'll answer on your own.. you might feel like you need to right away, you might want to take your time and mingle for a month or longer, you might just want to stop worring about that and fix your life so you are safe with your financial situations and then do the dating thing.. or you might want to just date guys, it doesn't mean it has to be something serious, just a few guys you find interesting and hang out with separately.. do what feels good for you... i wish you nothing but the best! hope you had a good christmas and i hope you have a wonderful, very happy new year!

Answer 2

Find a Divorce Care Group (search the net) in your area and attend. Do things with family and friends. Don't get into a new relationship right away. It's tempting, because of the pain (particularly if you were dumped for another) but you need to heal first or you will just take baggage into another relationship. I married my first love and did not want the divorce and it really hurt like you said, but I know from experience that you will heal. Take time and I highly recommend that divorce support group. I didn't know about them when I divorced and I made my situation worse before it got better because I didn't know AND because I got involved before I was healed.

Answer 3

The best thing for you to do now is make sure you are happy with YOU & figure out where mistakes were made so that hopefully you won't make the same ones again. If you have not gone to any counseling, I'd say that would be a good thing to do. Even if it's just a few sessions. Most churches have counseling available if you can't access it any other way.
Whatever you do, don't rush yourself & remember that usually when you LOOK for a relationship, you settle. When you wait until you KNOW you can get by on your own, THAT is when you meet good quality people because you don't "need" to. I hope that makes sense & I hope everything goes well for you!

Answer 4

get to know yourself first, heal your heart first, as u do not want to carry any of this hurt into a new relationship. it's not about how fast one dates, it is different for everyone. take some time to grieve the divorce and loss, get your self worth back, feel good about yourself again first before u start dating. some things u never completely heal from, but it does get much easier. what helped me the most was spiritual healing that by the way did not come easy for me, but i was determined to get well and feel good again after the divorce, and u know what it worked for me. good luck.

Answer 5

Invest time in yourself. Do some hobbies you may have neglected, hiking, fixing cars, dancing whatever floats your boat.
I waited a good year before I even considered dating and even then marriage was not on my mind.
However I am now getting married in 2007. I was divorced in 1998.. so it takes a long time to find the right person. Sure you can date and rush into a relationship,but I don't recommend it or you will end up divorced twice..

Answer 6

Well, you must, absolutely must sit and resolve to be honest with you, about you. Then sit and be honest about what part you really played in the break up of your marriage and what kind of a person you are. In most divorces, at least half the problem departed about the same time you did.

Next, you may not be religious. But you have to really look and see if you have the right to have another relationship and if someone has the right to have one with you.

Yeah, I know, no one wants to hear any of this anymore and no one wants to beleive in any of this anymore. But remember that you dont have to believe that the plane is going down to hit that mountain side hard either now do you?

Answer 7

God can heal that pain and a lot of soul searching. It's time to heal your self. Start by reading. Read self help books. Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger has very good books. Very easy to read and right to the point. A good one for you will be ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives. And she has a good talk radio show about relationship and family issues on 640am 12noon-3pm Mon-Fri Southern CA time. You need to feel your mind with good staff now. God and time are your real healers. Stay focus on positive things. Stop in think with your own head and Gods word. If you do these you will be OK.

Answer 8

It is hard but find things that make you happy. The gym, reading, extra curricular activities. I know that my ex has gotten really heavy into church since we divorced.
As for dating, I waited until my divorce was official to start dating seriously. My marriage had been over for a while but I thought it was only right that I be legally divorced before getting involved wiht anyone.

Answer 9

Time. Thats all that helps. Get out and flirt. Dont rush into anything but enjoy being single. Find who you are now that you are alone again. After each relationship we are differant then who we were. You need to take the time to enjoy yourself again. Flirt with guys or girls you like and enjoy life.

Answer 10

There are no time limits. You will know when the time is right for you. When you feel the need for companionship, when you meet someone and feel that chemistry and that spark, then you will be ready.