My husband and I get along for the most part, but he is so very defensive when you ask any kind of question. I myself have never tried any drugs, but have smelled marijuana on a few occasions at concerts and the like. A few times over the last year or so, I swear I have smelled it when he enters a room, and when I have asked he either laughs it off, or starts a fight, telling me I ask way too many questions. I just feel like he is a very secretive person. He tends to get angry and or defensive when you ask about anything (for example, asking what he had for lunch sends him into a rant about how I ask too many questions and am nosy, and what does it matter, etc) Anyway today I found a search on the computer for "dugout hitter" on ebay that I didnt do and did some research and found that it was primarily for marijuana use. We have a 4 month old baby, and I just wanna find out what is going on, as I dont want it around my baby. Any suggestions?
2006-12-26 10:57:04 · 12 answers · asked by sugar 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Well I accidentally got my answer when doing laundry. He forgot to clean out his pockets. Thanks for your answers. And to those of you that said, who cares its only pot. Well I care for two reasons, one I have a child to consider, and two, It's the lying and secrecy that I can't deal with.
2006-12-28 06:03:43 · update #1
Unfortunately, someone who is defensive usually has something to hide. If you think you smell it, then you probably do. If someone gets angry when you ask a simple question, that's not a good sign.
2006-12-26 11:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by neilfan22 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to answer this because you don't say if he is actually irresponsible. You state that he is secretive, which can kill a relationship. Anyone that "hides" things from you and has a separate life, is not REALLY your friend. (I am assuming that you want your husband to be your friend too!)
Does he work a full-time job? Is he a good provider? If he doesn't work, does he help you with the baby?
Obviously you have at least two serious problems here:
1. You think he is doing dope and feel the need to know.
2. You guys have serious communication problems that will eventually affect your child and child-rearing abilities.
You could try to snip a few stands of his hair while he is sleeping, and get a drug test kit at the drug store. BUT LET ME CAUTION YOU, because YOU WILL BE the equivalent of him if you sneak around do this!
I say, if he acting appropriately, responsibility, lovingly, with exception of your interrogation times, then opt for the counseling. If he is a jerk and his personality has changed dramatically recently, then it is probably the dope, and he won't quit until HE IS READY to! Any testing or sneaky cop-like behavior won't stop him and only will anger him and end your relationship.
I would not focus on the "drug" part so much if his behavior is okay. I would be more concerned about your communication problems (sneaky behavior by both of you) and how they will affect your kid in the long run.
You may want to call AA, they have support groups to the families of addicts, if he is using you will need some support too! Good Luck!
2006-12-26 11:21:14 · answer #2 · answered by Trish V 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The problem is the mindset and not the drugs. the drugs are a symptom of a much bigger problem. If a person alters their conciousness, it is because they do not like the way they see things normally. It is really a spiritual problem and if it is already a self medication thing, it will have to run its gammit. You do not have to put up with anything that is abusive to you and your children. Have a talk with your husband and tell him how you feel about the way he is talking to you. If yo feel you are in danger or your children are in danger, don't hesitate, get some space between you and your husband. Get some council from your pastor or attend a NA meeting and find a support group in your area. In most cases the gut feeling is right. All substances that alter the way a person sees things is just a substitute for what they are really looking for and that is God/Truth. It becomes a battle in the soul as the drugs are a tempory fix for the God shaped void, but only God will fill the void perminantly and provide a way to a better way of thinkiing.
Rev.M
2006-12-26 11:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by happylife22842 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pot isn't bodily addictive. this is psychologically addictive. He ought to end any time he had to and not go through actual withdrawl. He basically would not desire to end. you won't be ready to make him provide up smoking bud and be in charge. He has to desire to do it or it won't paintings. Take despite funds is left interior the account out and cover it from him so as which you would be able to a minimum of feed the toddler.by no skill EVER EVER go away a individual using drugs irresponsibly get admission to on your invoice and grocery funds! considering that he's no longer interior the residing house anymore, save on with for state help and newborn help till you will come across a good interest and daycare. There are church homes, womesn orginizations, state help companies and community communities which will show you how to in case you analyze, carry out a little telephone paintings and locate them!
2016-11-23 18:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a relationship is based on trust and honesty you need to tell him straight up whats going on and you two have a child and if hes doing that s**t around the child that s**t aint good if you was doing something behind his back he would you to tell him if he does care and if he doesnt listen f***k him break up with him think about the child whats going to happen when the baby grows up and becomes aware of the situation if supposebly it lasts that long if he continues doing what hes doing hes going to think that your not going to do anything about it thats what a relationship is alll about honesty maybe its better that way because if you dont stand up to him hes going to continue
2006-12-26 11:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if your husband smokes pot at times, I'm sure he doesn't do it around your baby! So it's not the end of the world, although he *should* be honest with you about it...
2006-12-26 16:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ AnGeL oF cLaRiTy ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hire a spy or get his blood tested there must be a way to detect drugs w/o asking him
2006-12-26 10:59:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can tell on the eyes, they get small and red. They look like sleepy eyes but red.
2006-12-26 11:01:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well if he obviously is not bringin it around, if he aint cheatin and just some pot cut him some slack
2006-12-26 11:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by el chavo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty suspicious, ask him if he'll take a urine test.
2006-12-26 11:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by LuckyChucky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋