Ladies - would you continue dating someone for over 3 years if he hasn't indicated that he wants to marry you or move in with you?
2006-12-26 10:37:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't answer very many of these, but you appear to need some help sorting things out.
First, what do YOU want? It is marriage, children, a committed relationship, a home and a husband? All of the above, or just most of them?..fair question....If
you are in your late 20's or 30's, this is usually what most women want, and most men too. Marriage is very special -- it says to the world that you and this man are a committed pair, and that you hope (if it is your hope)to raise a child or children in a committed relationship of security, and devotion to a child and to each other --- but first to each other. I see some really nutty things on here about having children outside of marriage, and that says alot -- particulary to the child. If that piece of paper is important to you, I think you have every right to ask the guy, "where is this going?" If his reply is that he isn't sure, then you need to tell him what your needs are, that you DO wish a marriage and that marriage is important to you. When do you bail? I think you should give him fair warning to adjust to the idea that indeed you do plan to leave.... Something like, " I do wish to marry, and so far, I do wish to marry you. And I will stay up until my desire for marriage is greater than my desire to be with you... I like the idea of marriage, we do extremely well together, and as if you didn't know it, I do indeed love you --- perhaps too much.....But I will leave, because marriage is part of what I want in my life....
Of course this is a "fish or cut bait" sentence, and you then must indeed be willing to bail. You have been with this guy for 3 years..... you won't ever know each other any better. If you are good enough to be his lady for three years, you are good enough to be his wife... and if he does't agree, and marriage is what you want, then he needs to know that reluctantly, you are going to begin over. I met a guy whose lady led him on for 13 years!!!!!!!!! And he really wanted to marry..... guess he finally woke up.
Hope this helps....
2006-12-26 14:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am at this point right now, I have been dating and living with a doctor who is divorcing his wife to be with me, At first he would constantly talk about how he cannot wait to make me his wife. He was going to divorce her regardless. but to be honest with you now that we have been together for 2 years I have doubts regarding everything. So the bottom line is this. Marriage sometimes is not the point. If you love the guy and you have a steady good relationship then it is time to make a decision based on honesty. If he just is not the marrying type, does not want to be tied down. does not want to marry you? You can talk about it vaguely as in "Do you think we have a future together" something like that. I myself am in a crossroads and I know how you feel, so make sure you are not wasting your time.(At least in my case he supports me fully so I can develop my art work and paint.)
2006-12-26 10:51:23 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on if I wanted to get married. But if I did then after 3 years that conversation should definitely be brought up. If he shows no signs of wanting either then move on I say because someone out there will.
2006-12-26 10:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by Ella727 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be glad he didn't want to move in with out marriage.If I wanted to be married I'd find a guy that wants to be married instead of choosing a guy who I want to marry and he doesn't .The saying I heard growing up was this,why pay for the cow if you can get the milk for free.
2006-12-26 10:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd stay if I didn't want to marry him or move in with him and liked things as they are. If I didn't then I'd break it off, 3 years is long enough.
2006-12-26 10:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a talk with him and see what he is feeling, if he tells you that he dont want to get married soon, and you do not think you can wait then do not lead him on, some things are worth waiting for though.
2006-12-26 10:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by blueyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you indicated that this is something you want????
maybe it's time for a sit down heart to heart conversation about it and see where everyone stands on it....then go from there.
don't always wait for the guy to make the move..he might be waiting on you .
2006-12-26 10:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by joschaos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to cut bait and fish for another one.
Moving in and "playing house" also not a good idea.
Stop sleeping with guys so easily, it makes it too easy for them. Men used to have to pay for sex with whores, now women do it for free, or a little peice of jewelery. Still makes them a whore.
2006-12-26 10:47:27 · answer #8 · answered by mscyngrim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my friends once told me that if you hit a year and one of you does not know if you want to spend the rest of your life together, you should just end it. I think it is time for a talk.
2006-12-26 10:40:09 · answer #9 · answered by mydds07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knowing what I know now: 3 weeks.
2006-12-26 10:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋