my husband and i has been seperated for severn month and christmas has came and we had christmas for the kids at each of our home. well when the kids went over their dad house the was happy for the things he gave them and when they wanted to coome home he said you can't take anything over your mom's house. leave eveything that I bought here. Our children are 8 and 12, my 8 tyears old asked him why he said nothing. what can I say to them to ease their mind. my 8 years called him a selfish jerk. she doesn't want to go over their anymore. what can I do
2006-12-26 10:31:04 · 18 answers · asked by babymadison61904 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Isn't spam wonderful LOL. Tell your kids that Dad wants them to leave their gifts at his house so they will have things to do when they come to see him.I was in their shoes as a kid.
2006-12-26 10:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by redwidow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're standing tall on this one, Mom. Good for you. Whatever you do... do not say anything bad about this idiot (excuse me) in front of your kids. They only need to know that their dad loves them and that he's a decent human being. If you're daughter says "dad is a selfish jerk" say, "don't talk about your father that way... he loves you." She's just testing you. She needs to know that the father she loves is just trying to do his best. Who knows why he want the toys to stay at his place (he probably is an idiot!). And you can tell them that "Your father has his reasons, you'll have to ask him." Good luck... but thanks for doing what's best for them.
2006-12-26 18:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... what a tough spot you are in. You don't want to start bad mouthing your ex (even though he deserves it) in front of the children. On the other hand, you can talk to the children and explain that maybe daddy wants to start having some things over in his home, so when they come over, they have things to play and entertain themselves.
2006-12-26 18:37:00 · answer #3 · answered by ppv918 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would say he is a jerk also. what does he thinks that u will eat their gift. u should let ur kids talk to him let them tell him how much of a jerk they think he is and definitely let ur 8 yrs old talk to him. i don't think u should be the one explaining to them what they dad meant or whatever. talk to him and let him know how the kids felt, tell him that they don't want to visit him any more and u have no intention of forcing them. make him feel like a jerk.
2006-12-26 18:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by sweet143 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants them to leave the stuff there so they have something to do when they are there insterad of dragging it all back and forth and run a chance of losing it or damaging it. He should have explained to them his reasons though. Does he do this every yr or is this the first yr of seperation or of him being a jerk?
2006-12-26 18:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by Deb 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him the benefit of the doubt here, more than likely he wants them to have things at his place so they will feel like that is there home as well. Try telling your daughter its good to have things at his place too cause he still loves them and wants them to look forward to have things of their own at his place also. Now they can have the best of both places! good luck.
2006-12-26 18:48:12 · answer #6 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that he wishes to makes sure they have things in both homes to enjoy and not have everything at one house. That he was not trying to be selfish nor mean but simply forthought and smart.
Jonesy
2006-12-26 18:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by Jonesy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe he's acting like that. He IS selfish and is trying to bribe them to want to be there more. If you can afford it, try to get them the same things he got them so they can have them at your house. He is being ridiculous. Your 8 year old is right and it doesn't sound like they're falling for his tricks. Try to buy them what they had over there, and if they don't wanna go back there, don't make them.
2006-12-26 18:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by #1 Buckeye Fan!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's just downright cruel. Those gifts are your daugher's and she has a right to take them home. I think it's VERY rude of your husband to tell your kids that they had to leave the presents there.
I think you need to tell him that the presents were given to the kids and that they can take them home if they want.
2006-12-26 18:34:34 · answer #9 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is it possible for you to have a talk with your husband? Calmly explain to him that his new rule is unfair and the kids don't understand....
If that's not possible, I guess you should explain to your kids that Dad does get to make the rules at his house, and even though they might not agree with it, they have to respect it.
2006-12-26 18:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by Mary G 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋