tell his wife about affair?

Question

I recently found out that my wife of 3 years had an affair with her boss who is also married. My wife admitted that the relationship was both physical and emotional but it didn’t last because he “played” her. He and his wife had recently had a baby together. I understand that this isn’t the first time he has cheated on her either. He has had flings with other women. Truthfully, I feel terrible for her and I think that she should know what her husband has been up to. I also feel like he has no remorse. Maybe he would regret his actions and think twice if given another opportunity to cheat. Should I tell his wife about the affair? I would want to know. I think an anonymous letter would do the trick.

Answer 1

I am so sorry that your wife cheated on you. I however don't think its your responsibility to break the news to his wife. She will find out....things like this have a way of coming around.

Being the bearer of such news and giving it in a letter.....anonymously.....and with her having a new baby.....

I don't think I would want their problems riding on my soul.

Let the circle of life take its ride he will get his own.....what comes around goes around......

Think twice....would you want a letter like that on your door step.

Are you still married? I think I would want my wife to get a new job and not be surrounded my such people.....wipe the slate clean....start over....

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 2

Just because you send an anonymous note stating that her husband had an affair doesn't mean that she will believe it. If it's anonymous, you cannot include details, which she will want to know. Even if she confronts him, he will most likely deny it and with no proof, she will believe him. She probably already has a ifeeling that he has been cheating anyway, since he has cheated in the past but she chooses to stay. You are only trying to get back at him for cheating with your wife. I say the hell with him and concentrate on your marriage. Telling his wife may only make matters worse. How did you find out she was cheating anyway?

Answer 3

His wife is innocent, maybe she is a good women. Nah! If you are angry - get the company president to deal with it if are angry. Chances are your wife would be without a job!

What if this lady tried to go and fight your wife in the office and he never got dealt with. It take two to tango.

The reality of it, do you want you wife to lose her job? How far do you want to take it? If you make a big deal out of it then it will be a big deal.

Was this before your wife started seeing you or during? It took lots of guts for your wife to tell you this and why are you using it against her boss? Would it be easy to tell someone you have been played by the office player? I don't think so.

I realize you may be angry - do you want your wife unemployed?
Would you rather she find work somewhere else?

Answer 4

Yes, an anonymous letter will do the trick. I think that his wife has the right to know so she can make a decision to leave him or something like that. But just in case, think it through and don't be rash about it. You never know if it will come back to haunt you. I mean what if someone sees or finds out? Good luck!

Answer 5

It is not your place to tell her and your motives, while you try to play off like they are pure, are totally selfish. While yes, she has a right to know about his infidelities, who the hell are you to tell her about them? She just had a baby and has enough to deal with. You are just trying to get even with your wife and hurt someone else so you don't feel like you're alone with your feelings. Deal with your wife and the situation there, since it sounds like she wasn't getting something from you that she could get from her boss, and get on with life. You can either work on things with your wife or you can move on as a single man, but telling the other woman what her husband did is not going to change how screwed up YOUR marriage is. Focus the attention on the real issue here.

Answer 6

I would only do it if you knew that there was no way that you could get caught because it will cause more problems then it is worth. The woman may resent you or disbelieve you or even worse she may already know and be in denial. Either way it is usually a better idea to leave it to Karma so the "Player" can get his just deserts. Who knows the kid may not even be his. So to conclude my opinion I would say that it is better to just deal with your wife first and see how things are going there and if you are sure that no one would Catch you then send the letter.

Answer 7

And I think your ego has taken such a knock that another man finds "your" woman attractive that you are simply resorted to spite and meanness to get your own back. This is a testosterone battle at its worst. You say you would want to know? I doubt it very much judging by your words here. All that is wrong with you is that now you are being forced to face the fact that YOU let your wife down, that YOU are also at fault because had this marriage been as happy as YOU think, she wouldn't have gone off with this man in the first place. As to him playing her, she's an adult too so is as much to blame as you two men who seem to see her as a bone to play with. Grow up, fix your marriage, put your balls back in your pocket and put all your efforts into fixing what is clearly not such a good relationship!

Answer 8

Are u doing it to hurt him or his wife? It will hurt her more. I think its not wise to tell his wife because first off she just had a baby and just that can send u into a depression. Believe me the truth always come to the light. If you tell her anyways regardless of what I 'm saying tell her in about 5 months, give her some time to heal after the baby, she really deserves to know.

Answer 9

I wouldn't do it anyonmously. I would sit down and talk with her face to face and then you need to get out of your relationship. If your wife cheated on you, she's a ***** and you need to get her out of your life. You (I don't know you, but anyway..) deserve better than that. Kick the woman to the curb and then explain the story to the other party. Get it all out in the open. No one should be with someone who wants to be with other people. I would want to know if someone was cheating on me and chances are both your wife and her husband will cheat again if the opportunity ever presents itself.

Good luck!

Answer 10

To be perfectly honest, if he has had numerous affairs like you say he has, his wife probably ALREADY knows. She might be caught at a point that she can't leave right now, but I'm betting she knows what he has been up to. To answer your question though, don't say anything to her. That would be just adding insult to her injuries. It would serve NO purpose! You think it would make YOU feel better, but it wouldn't. Good Luck!!