Our Son is So Defiant, whats the deal?

Question

Andrew will be one in Jan.... he is crawling and standing with the help of objects.

Lately he has been very defiant, something our daughter never did..... He grabs for things and then when they are taken away he screams and cries. He follows Me everywhere and cries to be picked up. Sometimes he doesnt sleep through the night and will wake up screaming until I arrive.

He is defiant all day.... I understand he is establishing independence, but whats with the scraming when he doesnt get what he wants?


This is so new to us, Help!

Answer 1

Sounds like a typical one year old. It will get better.

Some things that worked for us, is using a sling. He may not feel good or he may need a little more attention than you are giving him. Holding him will not hurt him, if anything it will calm him down. Our son still has fussy periods usually in the late afternoon. Not all the time, but I have noticed it is worse if he did not nap as well as he normally does. When I put him in his sling, and talk to him, he calms down. When he calms, I try to put him down again. Usually he is fine with that, if not I call in dad to help me.

Make some one on one time with him every day even if it is for a few minutes here and there. If you have more than one kid, this can be hard but it sounds to me he just needs a little more attention. Play with him on the floor with some of his toys and then move away as he becomes interested in them. You can also put toys down on the floor in the same room you are in if you need to do other things. Sometimes as long as you are in the same room with them and acknowledge their presence every once in awhile then they are able to play a little bit more independently. Maybe your daughter can also play with your son and help out a little with him.

If he is starting to stand and has mastered crawling he could be close to walking and this could be why he is also starting to wake again during the night. He may not sleep well until he masters this new exciting task. My son, seemed to be fussier in between the stages of crawling and walking and did not sleep well until he was walking.

Or as stated before by another answerer, he could be cutting more teeth.

As far as the screaming is concerned, try trading toys and distract him with other things. If you have not baby proofed yet, now is the time. Instead of constantly saying no, no, no put things up high where he cannot get to them and make a room or two safe for him to roam about, gate the other areas where you do not want him to be in. Put up phones, remotes where he cannot get to them or give him old remotes that do not work anymore! We had to make adjustments to what I thought was pretty much baby proofed in our house. He is learning the word no, but they are so easily distracted at this age, to me it is much easier to teach them no to a few things then no to a lot of things.

If nothing seems to work, you may want to call the pediatrician for more advice or to rule out illness.

Good Luck to you!!!!

Answer 2

He is frustrated because he doesn't know how to communicate well yet.

First off.....if you need to take something away from him or take him away from something he is doing, give him a warning and help him disengage instead of just ripping the item away from him. Offer to trade him another object. Or say in a very pleased voice, "oh, thank you" and hold your hand out as though you thought his intention was to give it to you all along. Odds are good that he'll hand it over happily then.

Work on communication skills. Start teaching him some sign language since most kids can pick this up before language. It helps make for less frustration on all sides! And when he does get upset, use your words for him! "I can see that made you angry" or "you really wanted that" or "I see you are getting frustrated" or "you look disappointed" etc. etc. This will help HIM learn to express himself in a more appropriate manner as he grows and learns more language skills.

Answer 3

All I could do at that age was redirect, I lost serious weight chasing my son. He's screaming because he doesn't understand why he can't hang off the television, eat dog food etc. He may be screaming through the night because 1 year olds get molars, they hurt them real bad. When we out to stores I'd have to wear him in a sling so he couldn't hang out the cart. After awhile he'll know why he can't do such crazy things and it does get better.

Answer 4

Defiance can be a good thing if it's harnessed the right way, it can create a person that's independant, and strong-willed.

But if you're talking about him pouting and screaming when you take away an object, or until you come to pay him attention at night, that could be plain spoiled.

Don't give in so easily (everytime), it will make things easier in the longrun for you, him, and the rest of your family. Even if he's screaming his lungs out.

Answer 5

It is perfectly normal. He is just testing the waters and learning what he can/can't do or be allowed to do. Just remember every child is different than the other.

Answer 6

lol, i remember those days, and they were sooo cuteeeee.

but when they're still doing it at 2,3,4,5....years old, then it's time to worry and call super nanny...lol

Answer 7

definately the name.............my Andrew was the same.