My parents are thinking of divorce!!! HELP!!!?

Question

first of all im just a 12 year old almost 13 but my parents are thinking off divorce in july and im scared!!! because i want to go with my mother but my mother dosent have a good education because in thailand her family was poor and my mom makes me feel sorry for ehr because she told me he has been cheating on her far back even before i was born my mom is crying saying that we have to go to california to my older brothers that are 30 and 33 that might help us and she said if we dont get there we might end up homeless and that we may die and thats what my father wants because she said he dosent care about me or my mom and since my mom dosent have a good education there arent many jobs for her to get and my mom dosent want me to stay with my father because i might have a step mother and she wont like me like a real mother and my mom said if she ever dies i will live with my brother scott who is 30 and his wife shae im really scared about this i keep having weird thoughts PLEASE HELP!!!:(

Answer 1

go see your school counselor NOW!! RUN!!

Answer 2

Whoa. Honey, slow down. Breathe.

Regardless of what happens, you will not die and you will not be homeless. If it even remotely LOOKS like that's going to happen, the state will not let you stay with your mother. It IS your choice, of course, but it's not an advisable choice to stay with her if she cannot support you.

If your parents get a divorce, understand that it's for a reason. I've been married to someone who has cheated on me, and I wouldn't stick around for it, either.

It doesn't mean that your father is a bad guy. He may just want to stay with your mother for you until you are an adult.

Although I don't agree with what your mother told you, I don't think that you should be sheltered from the reality of what COULD happen if you went with her. Her telling you those things are scary, yes, but I hope those things help you make a better decision.

If she's freaking out, suggest a separation. Maybe your parents will miss each other and decide that divorce isn't what they want, after all.

Answer 3

Divorce is often the last option for husband and wife. I feel for you but do remember that it is best left to your dad and mom to sort things out. What your mom told you are very negative things which are unlikely to happen. It sounds like she's saying it because of anger and is painting a bad picture about your dad to you. You're 12 going to 13 so grow up! Speak with your dad and find out more. Do not be taken in by your mom, you need to hear your dad out too! Be fair and than make a decision from there. No parents in this world want their child to suffer so your dad and mom are no exception. Even if the divorce goes through it isn't the end of the world for all parties. Life goes on. So, be courage and face the world with different perspectives.

Answer 4

IF your parents get a divorce, it is extremely likely that your dad will be, willing or not, paying child support. How that works will be specific to the state they divorce in. If they divorced in a California court (the one state I seem to know you don't live in, sorry) he would pay both child support and spouse support.

You aren't going to end up living under a bridge. You aren't going to end up dead because of this. Your mom is freaking out right now and dumping a lot of her own issues on your head. She is also greatly exaggerating those issues.

Have you talked to your dad? Did he say he wants you dead?Does your mom really know for sure he cheated on her? She seems to have her facts confused. She is making a serious effort to poison your mind against your dad. It should be obvious to you that she can't possibly know what your step mom (if you ever even get one) will be like.

It is natural for anybody in your position to be scared. You need to realize that your mom isn't making any sense at all. You need to make your decisions based on the best factual information you can get, not your mom's emotional rants.

Nothing about this situation is fair to you. Since your mom is not acting like an adult, it unfortunately falls on you to do so.

Answer 5

Calm down !
California has many programs to help you. You will not die, that is foolish thoughts.
You know education is not only having gone to school.
Your mom must have many skills that even I do not know, especially cooking, What you might do is talk with the two brothers.If they know what's going on maybe they will take you before the divorce making thing easier for your mom. ?
Why do I have the idea your a girl?
Do not stay with your dad he will require you to do all the wife's chores. Stay with your mom and Remember CPS; Child Protection Services. You might also want to find Thai CHRISTIAN church for counseling, especially if your mother does not speak english well.
Good luck I wish you only the best for the comming New Year.
Email me, let me know how things fair.

Answer 6

I'm sorry for what you're going through... No child should have to go through what you're going through. You need to get some professional help and you won't find that here on Yahoo answers. You should know a couple of things first:

1. Your dad has legal obligations towards you and your mother. Your mom should see a lawyer before doing anything.
2. Your mom and you have rights. You and your mom should see a lawyer.
3. You are too young to be handling this on your own. Have you tried speaking to a guidance counselor at school?

I wish I could help you. Have you called your uncles? Maybe they can help you out???

Please, don't keep this inside all alone with it. Ask for help from someone outside your family. You can even speak to your doctor about it.

Good luck... and may God bless you child.

Answer 7

Ist of all your mom should not be telling you anything concerning what your daddy has or has not done--this is no concern of yours. Your dad is NOT A BAD PERSON just because he has had affairs--It is NOT right for him to do this but it doesnot make him a bad dad. Your mom is trying to get you inn the middle of something that she and your daddy need to work out on their own. Who knows California might be the best thing for YOU right now. You just might be glad you went. Your mom is upset right now so she is gonna cry and carry onand that is gonna make you feel bad for her. You can tell her you feel bad for her but you also need to ask her to stop telling you just how bad she thinks your dad is. When it gets right down to it, you are old enough to make that decision as to whom you would like to live with, however dont let either one of your parents tell you what they think of the other one-IT IS NOT FAIR TO YOU. SHould you decide which one to live with it doesnt mean you are going to "LOVE" the other one any less.. There are alot oif people who have gotten divorced over the years for one reason or another and now that they are no longer married they remain good friends-which is much better than staying married and always fighting. YOU WILL BE FINE!

Answer 8

I'm sure your mother is upset with your dad and with the thought of getting a divorce but she should never ever have said all these things to you. There is no way their problems are your fault and you are not able to do anything to make things better. She has scared you about things that have not happened and may not ever happen. You need someone you can talk to who will help you deal with all your feelings. A favorite teacher or the school counselor would be glad to help you. Please go to one of them and tell them you need to talk. This is too much for you to deal with by yourself. Things will work out but you need to stay calm and take one day at a time.

Answer 9

Relax. Nothing can be solved in the state you're in--regardless of how entitled you are to feel this way. Your mother is telling you WAY too much. She has kept you safe and together for 12 years. She's scared too but she has the resources to take care of what you need--unless there is more to say here from you. What do you want? You have to ask yourself that. Safety? Your parents together? Be real and grounded with what you want and honest with what you want. If you don't get your parents together, I promise they will be allot happier apart. Talk to a coucelor, someone at church if you go or to a trusted adult and let them be a conduit for you whilst you go through this.

good luck sweetie.

Answer 10

Oh honey it's wrong for your mom to put you in this situation. What happens now is not your fault or your responsibility. Sometimes, even as parents, we don't know the right things to do or say. You are not going to end up homeless or dead, and shame on her for telling you things like that. She shouldn't be telling you that your dad doesn't care about you....he feels no differently towards you than he did before...this is between her and him. She's hurt and confused right now because of what she is going through, so you're going to just have to be patient with her and take the crazy things she says with a grain of salt. If you end up staying with your dad, there is no reason to believe right now that he will remarry anytime soon, much less marry a woman who will not like you or treat you badly. And your mom will find a job. Lots of people work without an education. She's scared right now about it because it's new to her, but even that will all work out soon. If they aren't going to divorce until July, it sounds to me like you all will have plenty of time to work out all of the details, and everyone will be okay. I know it's scary right now because of the uncertainty. Just know that you still have plenty of people who care about you, and that this has nothing to do with you, and that you do have people that you can stay with......if your mom isn't stable, then there is nothing wrong with staying with your father or your brothers. Her insecurity and jealousy is normal, but she should not make you choose her side over his because of it sweetie. Be strong, and hang in there!

Answer 11

First, you have to try and relax. My parents divorced a few years back and there wasn't anything I could do about it. It's so hard to go through something like this, especially in your situation.

You need to decide who you would like to stay with. I think you are old enough to make this decision. Try to do this on your own, because both parents are going to try and get you to stay with them.

And I doubt very seriously that you dad wants you both to end up homeless and die. Your mother is very upset right now and may say anything to get you on her side of this. Do not choose sides.

As far as step mothers are concerned, they can be very loving (not like Cinderellas!). Again, the decision of who you want to stay with is up to you.

Talk with both your mom and dad and let them know that you want to decide on your own and see what they say. It may be left up to the courts to decide.

Just remember that they both love you and are getting divorced for their own reasons, not because of you. There isn't anything you could have done to change it. It's a hard fact of life, but you will make it through this!