I have been with my fiancee for 3 years and since day one, I noticed his kids don't look anything like him. I saw his ex's current boyfriend and all 3 kids look like him (the current man). My man was "away" alot of the time and that gave her time to play but I believe my man is in denial......HELP!!
2006-12-26 09:41:32 · 11 answers · asked by mex_drgn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell him "you smell a rat." That isn't it apparent that his kids doesn't resemble him.
2006-12-26 09:44:42 · answer #1 · answered by Agentj100 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately it's your fiance's decision. Just because a child doesn't look like the father doesn't mean it's not his. Perhaps it would be too painful for your fiance to go through. Maybe there is a part of him that doesn't want to believe any of his kids aren't his. Think about it. It is tough.
Good luck.
PS Depending on where you reside, each state is different regarding this issue. If he was married to her at the time these children were conceived and signed their birth certificates, the child is a "product" of the marriage, even despite the fact that it could be another man's child. Check with a lawyer or your local courthouse, family division and child support. They sometimes check paternity for free.
2006-12-26 17:44:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
look, its easy for you because you are not emotionally attached. You see, even if for some reason I found out tomorrow I wasn't my daughters real daddy, It would not matter.Yes, I would feel betrayed and sad, but the truth is she is my daughter in my heart either way.I love her and she loves me and nothing in the ways of that will change.
I think you need to realize this first thing and next,He is a grown man and if he feels he will ever need to question this he will need to be the one to have to know he can deal with it if it turns out to be they are not his.
There is more at stake her than your perception.
If he don't want to do it then you need to back off and let it be. If it bothers you too much then maybe you need a new guy.
2006-12-26 17:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For free?
In California, you can apply for Welfare and name him as the likely father. He will be contacted and can only prove that he doesn't owe child support if he takes a pat test. You can drop the welfare request afterward if you really don't need it.
Welfare is a choice to apply, then you must meet the requirements to receive. If you qualify, you do not need to continue with it. However, you should note that to apply for and accept welfare just for a free paternity test is a felony - if you're caught.
2006-12-26 17:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by stevegoryan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IS he paying child support?
If so as his potential spouse you could contect his paternity in court, causing the ex to present proof to the contrary (DNA Test)
If not, it's his own dumb choice and you may want to advise him to get proof whether they are or not becasue she (the ex) can sue him at anytime before the children turn 20 for his half of their support and be awarded the back child support, usualloy due in 90 days after hearing. This is a concern to you as you are getting married and this would change your families potential financial situation.
2006-12-26 17:46:11 · answer #5 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't marry him until he gets the tests. Give him demands about that, so that you can be at peace with it. Taking on the 3 children would be a huge responsibility just to find out they weren't your own. He is probably very attached to them and that is why he does not care. Convince him that this will not make him leave their life completely, but that this will ease YOUR mind completely. I would never marry anyone who I had those doubts about in that type of situation. Just ask him to please do it for you. Until then, wait for to set a wedding date. That is only fair for you as well. So respect yourself and your wishes.
2006-12-26 17:47:02 · answer #6 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you had a child the ages of the children and you loved them with all your heart would you want someone to inform you that they had been switched at birth with another couples child who loved that child like there own? wspecially if you knew it would hurt them and the child and your child permenantly/
There his children. If he has not had them tested, it is because the truth that would set him free would also destroy him.
2006-12-26 17:56:26 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Johny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is not for you to decide. this is between your fiancee and these children. maybe they are and maybe they are not his kids, but this is not for you to decide and just maybe he loves these children and does not care weather or not he is the biological father. I guess I really don't understand why you care about this issue.
2006-12-26 17:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by ohiomontana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOOD LUCK ON THAT!! BUT SIT HIM DOWN AND ADDRESS YOUR CONCERNS AND LET HIM KNOW THAT ONCE HE FINDS OUT THE TRUTH YOU ARE MORE THAN WILLING TO HELP HIM GET JOINT CUST. OF THE BOYS SO YOU AND THEM CAN BE LIKE A REAL FAMILY.
2006-12-26 17:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by nattabomb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what is your problem?
If you marry you got the tax deduction. and what man are you talking about?
2006-12-26 17:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋