My friend needs some advice. She has been with this man for over a year now.?

Question

She sold her house to move in with him. she has two small children. he is very selfish. he did not give her anything for christmas. she gave him something nice. but he did manage to get him self something nice. he wants to marry her but cant ask her yet untill she opens up more and depends on him more. what is the deal with that? should she stay or go??

Answer 1

What in the world?

Time and time again... people need to recognize this fact.

What you see is what you get. She'll be in for a rude awakening if she marrys that man and expects him to change. She should RUN!

If he's acting this way before marriage he'll be like this after marriage perhaps even worse. Tell her don't be fooled. If she's not opening up to him.. it's with good reason. Love blossoms when love is given freely.

She's holding back because she know he's not the one. She sounds like she wants to have the "pretty picture" the house, a father for her children and a husband. But she's paying too high a price and ignoring some serious RED FLAG signals. If she doens't walk away from this situation while she still can... she and her children will regret it.

It's important and nice to have those things... but under the right circumstance and with the right person.... otherwise she and her children will be miserable living with this person. TRUST... she can be miserable all by herself... she doesn't need help.

Whatever this man's worst character/behavior defect is ...If she were told that it would never change..she should then ask herself if she's willing to live with that flaw in his character or behavior for the rest of their married life. If she can't or is unwilling to do that (especially if it gets worse) she should SERIOUSLY NOT marry that man. If she choose to go ahead and marry knowing that fact... she should NEVER ever complaint to anyone about how he treats her or her children.

This "friend" of yours has children.. which makes the situation even more sensitive. She needs to recognize she's exposing her children to this man and it may cause then harm (mentally) to see their mom being treated in this manner. If he's selfish (and he sounds controlling too) to her what on earth will he be like to the children.

What in the world possessed her to sell her property and move in (prior to marriage) with this person... NOT SMART!

Tell your "friend" she seriously needs to re-evaluate her choice... BEFORE it's too late.

That's a shame... ummm ummm ummm.

Answer 2

The decision is entirely up to her really. He did not buy her anything for xmas but does he treat her well in other ways ?? How does he treat her children ?? Did he buy christmas presents for them ?? These are all the things she should be looking at. If the answer to all these things is NO I think l would be a bit weary of this man. If he seems selfish now, he could be a bit of a bludger. Does he work ?? She is obviously self sufficient and perhaps he has a hard time dealing with her independence. She has two small children to worry about and perhaps she was a little hasty in selling her home to move in with him. She needs to be careful with her money as you never know when she may need to buy another home for just herself and her children. I hope everything works out well for her but l feel that she should be a little cautious.

Answer 3

Hoping when she sold her house she kept a separate bank account with only her name on it.....something to fall back on.

He wants her to depend on him.....

I don't think love should be measured on how needy one is for the other. Each should be there for one another. As far as the Christmas gifts goes....she needs to think about what she wants from a relationship. If it is one sided the other is sure to be the one that always gets hurts.
How was He with the children, for Christmas? Did he help play Santa? Was he there for the children or were his toys more important? Did he help make new traditions with them, did he play a good role model?

I would also look in that direction.

Best wishes.....and your friend is lucky to have you looking out for her....if she is thinking the way you are....by asking this question....her heart already knows the answer.

Good luck

Answer 4

She should hit the door running. If they've been together over a year and this is how he treats her, imagine how it's going to be 5-10 years from now. This guy sounds like a real piece of work. I also imagine he doesn't treat her kids all that great either. That's also something she needs to think of. In all honesty, I would lose this dork.

Answer 5

GO! RUN!! Any man who would not marry a women before he "lives" with her has no respect for her. He will never truly commit. He is selfish and only thinks of himself. She needs to get out of that mess and focus on her children.

Answer 6

Had you no longer long previous via his e mail's you're able to nonetheless be on the hours of darkness and he will nonetheless be utilising you on your economic reimbursement and all the different perks. of course, honesty isn't his sturdy suit and if it wasnt you it may be yet another woman in a similar difficulty with him. The previous addage :why purchase the cow once you're able to have the milk for unfastened (no longer that im calling you a cow). he's providing you with scraps yet is taking what he desires so why make any authentic dedication whilst HIS desires are being met via you and others. he's a participant! Lose him, threat is he will understand what he had and lost, yet you be sturdy and dont take him returned. Dont be no longer uncomplicated on your self, how could issues have been greater effective for you no longer looking out? you're able to nonetheless be in a similar spot, an unsatisfying relationship with a guy who isn't committed. What in case you had conceived a baby or married him and then the reality got here to easy. What in case you had stayed with him and he cheated on you with distinctive companions and reduced in size an std, which he surpassed to you? could you be greater effective then? Take your losses and flow on. Your the greater effective individual. he's downing you to the recent female, just to justify his movements and make himself look sturdy. do no longer take it to coronary heart. study from this and attempt to no longer get into th e same difficulty returned. in case you STAND FOR no longer something you will FALL FOR something.decide who you're, what you desire out of existence and flow after it.

Answer 7

This sure does sound like a controlling scenerio in the making. Hes looking for total control of her before he commits any further.Tell her to run and dont ever look back> This is not a good thing no matter how you look at it. Just hope she isnt in too deep yet. Good luck

Answer 8

From what you've stated, your friend should go before she gets hurt in this relationship. Women tend to stay in these types of relationships thinking guys will change but they never do and then get hurt in the process. So I would tell your friend to move on but if she's happy with him then let it be!

Answer 9

That's up to her whether she stays or goes. Her man is a complete selfish ******. She is after all living with him. She needs to reevaluate her relationship with this jerk and leave him on her own time. All you can do is be there for her when she needs a friend in her time of need when she wakes up and leaves!

Answer 10

as you answer yourself he is selfish and i add to it he is moneyminded that's the reason or something else with this man , find the true reason behind it , i think it is best to avoid the person than being sick of him everytime , he proove a point that he is sick of money.