Single mom's - how do you take on all of the responsibilities completely on your own?

Question

I mean COMPLETELY on your own . . no child support, no roommates, no money from family . . I have a pretty good job and I pay my own rent and bills (which is not that cheap really . . car payment, insurance, food, gas, utilities . . etc . .)
The guy who got me pregnant is NOT going to be in my life . . he isn't worth even taking to court I believe so I think I am just going to keep him away from the baby and I because he doesn't deserve her or I . .
Giving up my baby is NOT an option for me, I have enough cash to pay my bills and stuff but I have no one to help me really with daycare . . and I definately can't afford it . . I am kind of freaking out a little cause I really dont know what to do . . I would like to get some input on what other women in my situation have done or are doing to make ends meet . . work at home? part time work?? any kind of financial aid programs or grants? My salary is kind of high so I dont qualify for state aid . . please help . .

Answer 1

Don't let pride stand in your way of asking for help. We ALL have to have help sometimes, and it's not a disgrace to ask for some when needed. If I know one thing that life has taught me, it's that THERE IS A WAY! You will find it, and your baby will be just fine. Trust me, everything's gonna work out for you, and your baby! I applaud you for keeping your baby. You'll make a great Mom. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

your scared and we all know how you feel. your not sure how your gonna do it (and if you can)...

first of all, there is only so much you can make. and day care costs is a killer. if you find a babysitter who is willing to take next to nothing in payment...

ok, here are a few tips that helped me.
1) check ALL local churches to see if they have some sort of daycare programs. they are more affordable.
2) you can work PT and babysit at home untill your child is in school full time
3) check all local churches for who has the 'food bank'. collect the food packages weekly. this free's up money for your electric or whatever.
4) you dont qualify for assistance (we all know that feeling as well) but you may qualify for heat or rent assistance.
5) collecting child support is hard and sometimes downright stressful for the single parent, but it must be done. you are your childs only advocate. no one else will stand up for him/her and their rights/needs.
6) the redcross helps with vehicles and some other items. check your local office. if there isnt one, contact a state office and they will let you know where the closest one is.
7) the salvation army helps in almost all ways. again, contact a local office.
8) join a single moms org in your area. they all know where services are and what to do. if there isnt one, start one. there are tons of us out there.

here are some links. take your time and dig through them, they have great resources (grants scholarships, help info). the last few are to help you.

stay strong, your baby depends upon it.
single mom of 4

Answer 3

First of all...DO NOT LET HIM OFF THE HOOK. Even if you do not want a relationship with him, he has a responsablity to your child. Legally he HAS to help support the baby. Have him pay through the court and then when he doesn't pay, you call the court and let THEM deal with it. No matter how much money you make, he has to help. Do not let this slip through the cracks.
I had a lot of help from friends and I had a good church that I could turn to. Look around your work place, there must be some single moms around. Go to the Libarary, there is usally meeting places posted for mom's groups, support groups for parents (Parents without Partners, etc) and other parent/child groups. Let your OB/GYN know that you are interested in any groups that she knows of. Surely in this day and age, she has patients that are single moms, or pregnant. Same goes for the pediatrian, he/she will know of some single parents. Don't worry!!, Remember to get a court order for CHILD SUPPORT....and take each thing as it comes.....you can do it.

Answer 4

It's hard but it can be done. I was lucky and found a wonderful babysitter when my daughter was a baby that loved kids and did not charge as much as some day cares. I work full time, go to school, and take care of my daughter by myself. Her father just came back into the picture. Even if you are upset with him it might be worth it to make him pay child support unless he is very bad then it isn't worth it. It's hard but for some reason every time I thought I could not do it everything ended up working out. If you have not had your baby yet check around several places and homes of day cares you should be able to fine one reasonable.

Answer 5

I have know lots of single parents. Our church had a great ministry from single parents. Recognize that you can't do it on your know and Trust that God can help you. Several of the single mothers were in the same position. One in particular, did not have a good paying job.

Some of the singles got together and help them out. Some of the men, would do small repair projects, etc. Some of the ladies help watch. Our singles group became a community that help each other with life's challenges.

Answer 6

I feel your pain!! I just sacrafice alot to make it. I put my daughter into a in home daycare it was alot cheaper. check around for that. Her father is around but he is sorry and cant hold down a job and for that I put him out, I dont need another mouth to feed! All I can say is do your best but dont neglect your child doing it. I am looking for a part time job but evining care is not cheap. Just hang in there it will work out, us women always find a way!

Answer 7

SINGLE mom. NO FINANCIAL help! NONE! NEVER! I work full time. Its a lot easier now because my child is school age, but she wasn't always. I know that it seems like its not possible to survive alone but it is! Your a woman and we can do what ever the heck we want to do! You will figure out what to do when the time comes, I promise you that!