and YES, I've tried to make it passionate but nothing works. I want a divorce but how to divorce an otherwise nice man. He'd be heartbroken. Help!
2006-12-26 08:30:49 · 39 answers · asked by applecheeks 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well im going to be honest.. If he is a good man you better think twice about getting out.. because hon the truth is there isn't many nice men out there.. for real instead of leaving him you should try to work things out with him.. God forbids you go out there and find a sex machine that would do you good and so is everyone else he meets and then what? SEX alone is not going to make you happy I think I would settle for nice. hell if nessesary I would get a toy or something to finish what he starts. LOL but for real though that there is not a good excuse to leave the man. just think about it first. good luck.
2006-12-26 09:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What you need to know is passion is like riding on a roller coaster in a marriage, one minute it is so high you feel as though you're getting all giddy. The next it is so low that you can literally reach up ten feet to scratch a snakes belly.
Passion does not only mean jumping up and down romantically on the bed so to speak. Passion can come in when you are watching TV and holding hands or even being in the same room together. There are times my better half and I go with out "Passion" for a week or so; we just know it is a period we need to get through.
If this lack of passion has been going on for months, bring up the ever healthy idea of getting a check up together encouraging your better half to get a check up as it may be health related.
Divorce is not always the proper answer, so please do whatever you can first. Other avenues become exhausted then and only then consider divorce.
2006-12-26 09:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even life itself is not forever. Though it is hard on anyone when a relationship comes to an end, it's unfair to you to stay together with someone whom you're not happy being with. Just like anything else that fails or comes to an end, it can end as peacefully and positively as possible or it can be the most horrific experience anyone can encounter. It all depends on you. You are in control of how you want it to end.
What I know for sure is that there is not a single problem in this world that cannot be solved without effective communication. What I am saying is he could feel the same way as you and agree to a divorce and become friends. You wouldn't know this if you guys didn't communicate and talk about it.
Take it one step at a time. Just don't take too much time. Get advice from your close friends. Remember people go through divorces all the time, so you don't have to go through it alone. Think positive. Act positively. You'll see positive results. Just like anything else in life, this can be a success if you truly believe it will be.~
2006-12-26 08:41:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sean B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him in the first place? Was there never passion? You can get that back again... if it was there before, but you have to really work at it! Don't just try something a couple times and give up, keep trying. Divorce should be a last resort.
2006-12-26 08:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by El Neenyo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought that maybe you just have a normal marriage? the "passion" very rarely stays on the level it starts out on. Are you going to leave every relationship when the passion fades? You need to try to find the good things about your marriage and level your head a bit. You said yourself he is a good husband except for the passion. Consider yourself blessed that you aren't with someone who beats you but is good in the sack every day. It could be a lot worse.
People spend way to much time getting upset about what is "wrong" rather than being thankful for what is "good". Be a person that looks for the good and is thankful every day for that.
2006-12-26 08:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by PDH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. As much as I hate to say it, remaining in a relationship without passion is a sacrfice which will not make anybody happy!
Passion and physical intimacy are the most important components of a relationship. In the absence of it, there is no ture relationship by definition. By staying in such a relationship, you will grow resenting yourself for missing out on a better romatnic life and you will start resenting your partner for the same thing. Staying in such a relationship, if passion is important to you, will not make your partner happy. If he knows that what you stay with him out of pitty, it can't possible keep him happy.
Thus, in the absence of special circumstances, such as having kids, etc... you should consider breaking things off.
The other option, of course, which I hate to suggest even more, is remaining in a relationship with this guy who is so wonderful in all other ways and satisfy your desire to physical passion on a side. I know it's not the most ethical advise, but I want you to consider it as a possible solution to your problem.
Ultimately, you will have to decide if that works for you.
Thanks.
Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com
2006-12-26 08:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by PracticalHappiness.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, I would and I am. Don't live your life wishing for movie or story book "love". That's just for fantasy. Sure, there are people who have very passionate relationships, if you're talking about physical passion. But there's different types of passion...passion for your family, for having fun, for security, for the same goals and wants.....
I don't have the movie version of passion....but I have someone who I love and who loves me, someone who is a great father, great partner, great husband and friend. Someone who will take care of me and our son with his last breath. Someone I can talk to , have fun with, rely on, depend on, stand by....someone I can grow old with.
I separated from my husband looking for "more" or "better". For me, it wasn't out there. And it made me realize to appreciate what I have and love who I have with my entire being. Is the grass greener on the other side? For some, maybe. For me, nope, I'll keep my green lawn with the brown patches.
Good luck.
2006-12-26 08:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by BVC_asst 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am man going through the same thing and I have a great woman but I will leave her the first chance I get long story I don,t know how old you are but you should have a full life I DO have a question why did you marry him in the first place
2006-12-26 09:11:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband loves you very much. Passion fades. Sex becomes much less important. Loving someone and being with them for emotional reasons is so much more rewarding than just being "hot" for them. The little things about being in love are what is important. Passion just doesn't last and it won't with anyone, you shouldn't give up something great that you already in order to find something that is fleeting anyway.
2006-12-26 08:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by eplascak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What have you tried? You say NOTHING works. Have you been to therapy? If the "nice man" wants to stay married to you - I'll bet that he's nice enough to go to therapy. Try it. Tell him it's what you need in order for the marriage to work. If he doesn't want his heart broken - he'll go. There are lots of people out there who have fixed their marriages through conseling. Make sure the therapist is somebody who you both like and trust.
Hope that helps.
2006-12-26 08:35:50 · answer #10 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋