serious birth defect?

Question

i tried to ask this once and got deleted.......

my best friend found out that her unborn child has anencephaly and will not live more than a few days at the most. i know it's very hard on her since she has a young daughter and her husband is in the military and is seldom home. she's very religious. how do i help her cope? have you ever had anyone you know have this kind of birth defect?
any help is appreciated.

Answer 1

I had a stilborn child at 7 months, due to a cord accident (the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck days before she was born). I was really comforted by the scripture Psalms 139: 13-16, particularly the part where it talks about it being written, "the days there were for [her], when as yet there was not one of them". It helped me to know that the Lord wrote days for my little girl, even though all of those days were when she was inside me, and that her times were in His hands.

Answer 2

Since she is very religious, she has likely made the decision to continue the pregnancy. The only way you can really help her cope is by being there for her and letting her process the news.

She may be moody, angry, scared, sad. She may cry a lot or act unusually silly or in a good mood. She may have frequent, sudden, and SEVERE mood changes.

Just know that it isn't you she is angry with...she's likely angry with the world right now and just knowing you will be there when she needs you...no matter what her mood or how she treats you....will mean the world to her.

You can also ask her flat out how you can be of the most help.

Since she has a young daughter she made need help when the baby is born. If the baby survives birth, it will likely need to spend the duration of it's time here in an ICU and your friend probably won't leave the hospital much. You can offer to take care of her daughter...bring meals...house sit.

If the baby passes away right at birth, she will still need this help....offer to be with her to make any arrangements.

I know it's hard and you must all be feeling very sad. Go with your heart and you won't make a mistake.

Answer 3

Celebrate the birth. My aunt had a baby with a similar disease. Basically it's when a baby is born missing part of his/her brain. It's fatal in 100% of the cases.

The BEST thing you can do for you friend is to really help her celebrate the birth and rejoice in the few hours that her child survives. Ask her how you can help out--care for her child for a few hours or an afternoon.

She is going to be going through this in her own way, but just be there as her friend.

Also, get her church involved. It's always hard to be honest about the problems, but it may not be a bad idea to organize a celebration day for her unborn child. That baby is still alive now, and it's best to celebrate his/her list while everyone can.

About the disease:
"Anencephaly is a disorder involving the incomplete development of major parts or all of the brain. Anencephaly is classified as a neural tube defect (NTD), and that term refers to the incomplete development of the brain, spinal cord, and/or their protective coverings. The neural tube is a narrow sheath that is supposed to fold and to close in the third or fourth weeks of pregnancy, in order to form the brain and spinal cord of the embryo. Anencephaly occurs when the anterior or cephalic head-end of this neural tube fails to close, resulting in the failure of major portions of brain, skull and scalp to form.

Infants with anencephaly are born without both a forebrain (the front part of the brain) and a cerebrum (the thinking and coordinating part of the brain). Often the remaining brain tissue may be exposed, or without protective covering, either bone or skin.

Anencephaly is characterized by the absence of the two hemispheres of the brain. The absent brain tissue is sometimes replaced by a rudimentary brain stem made up of abnormal cystic nerve tissue. Although reflex actions such as breathing and responses to touch or sound may occur, gaining consciousness is almost invariably ruled out."

Answer 4

So sorry to hear about it. Don't know anything about the defect. Only advice I can give you is to maybe put this post under medical, or pschycology forum? I'm not worried about it, but it might be very hard for new mums or mums-to-be to read about this, that might be why your question got deleted? Only guessing? Hope you find the answers, and be a pillar of strength to your friend.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry. Make sure she knows that you are there for her. Losing a child even prebirth, for any reason, is more devastating than many people realize. Just knowing that you have someone who is there for you means so much. So many people don't know what to say so they avoid the grieving mother. She may not want to talk, but she doesn't need to be alone either. You are a good and caring friend.

Answer 6

properly i'm a guy and that i don't be attentive to ways a woman feels whilst having a toddler and all that. yet i think of i could nonetheless with the aid of fact then the toddler does no longer ought to go through for the time of existence and you does no longer ought to be heartbroken to video reveal the youngster strengthen up with one in each and every of those illness. If that replaced into the case of path. i think of it could be maximum suitable to have an abortion out of compassion. this is in simple terms what i think of. Edit: Oh wait ...replaced into this a comedian tale question?

Answer 7

I really don't think there is anything you can do other than just be there for her when she needs you. Perhaps her church, pastor, or whomever leads the congregation can help on the religeous side.

Unfortunately, child development process isn't perfect and things do go wrong. Perhaps you can tell her, it isn't anything she did or isn't a punishment for anything she did in the past.

Answer 8

just be there for her really! i had a cousin who had a still born at 8 months which was pretty bad - but they just sort of got on with it!!!!

Answer 9

when u say religious? what religion?
if she is as religious a u say then her faith will get her through it.
praying helps.
also 'miracles' do happen, if u believe in the right faith and do all the right things.
Faith IS everything?